


Four Seasons of Loneliness

by Mellowyellowdiamonds



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), olicity - Fandom
Genre: Absolutely NO cheating/unfaithful behaviour, F/M, Happily Ever After Ending, Jealous Oliver Queen, Memory Loss, Mentions of Violence, Possessive Oliver Queen, not for Laurel fans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2018-12-24 06:58:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 62,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12007473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellowyellowdiamonds/pseuds/Mellowyellowdiamonds
Summary: Felicity moves to Starling City to build a new life for herself when a chance encounter with a blue eyed little boy drastically alters her perception of everything she has wanted to believe to be true about herself.An Olicity AU story about love, jealousy, loss and trying to find your way back to each other again.





	1. 2017

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Guys!!!!!
> 
> I'm back with a new plot bunny!!!! 
> 
> Okies disclaimers and warnings galore for this one!
> 
> 1\. Will be written in a non linear timeline - Reason is if I write this from a linear time line you will get all these plot bombs dropped on you and you'd be like "WTF just end this woman!" I have worked out the plot outline and it works much better non linear. You'll get your answers much faster without knowing the whole story and you won't be raging at me (I hope!).
> 
> 2\. You must suspend disbelief - You know me and my habit of stealing from Chinese soaps and writing wildly illogical stories! 
> 
> 3\. I am terrible at angst and still practicing - haha I just will not give up trying to write angst
> 
> I hope you do like it but be aware of the above as you read!

“Mummy?” the little boy peered at Felicity expectantly as she sat on the bench going through her notes in an attempt to calm herself before her interview with Ray Palmer.

Served her right for choosing to sit on a bench in a children’s playground she thought to herself. Something had drawn her to it. The brightly coloured slides and the sound of happy laughter as various children bounced up and down the seesaw. She wasn’t a kid person, having never had a child herself or even anything to do with children. Still she found something calling her in here today and Felicity hadn’t thought it would be a problem as there was no shortage of benches throughout the playground. Now she had some poor kid mistaking her for his mother.

Felicity took a good long look at the little boy standing before her. He was young, certainly no older than four or five with a mop of wavy light brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Handsome little thing. Intelligent looking too. He didn’t look like the kind of child who wouldn’t recognize his own mother. 

“Mummy!” He stated again, this time firmly like he meant business. Felicity not quite knowing how to react (how does one politely deny being someone’s mother anyway) decided the best option was to reason with him calmly. 

“I think you’re mistaken buddy. I don’t have children at all. Do you need help finding your mummy?” Felicity felt a strong urge to reach out and touch him but vaguely remembered reading an article somewhere that you shouldn’t touch other people’s kids and it was a big nono to hug children who were not familiar to you. 

“No! You’re my mummy. Don’t worry mummy you just don’t recognize me because you haven’t seen me since I was a wee baby. But I’m your Jonas. I really am. Daddy always says that you love me very much and you’d come back to us one day if you can.” 

Felicity felt herself moved by his declaration. He spoke with such a raw honesty. He had so much faith that the mother he loved would come back to him one day. Poor thing must have lost his mother when he was a baby and had never gotten over it. 

“I’m sure your mother, wherever she is loves you very much buddy. But I’m not your mummy. I’ve never even had children before. Why are you all alone though? Who took you to this park? How about I help you get back to your guardian so that you don’t wander around anymore?” Felicity held out a hand and gave him a gentle smile. He latched onto her hand eagerly and grinned at her, his earlier earnest expression replaced by one of sheer joy. No touch rule be damned Felicity thought. Whoever it was shouldn’t have lost this poor kid in the first place. 

“It’s just Raisa. She knows I’ll stay in the playground. She reads the Russian paper every afternoon and lets me have thirty minutes of play time before we go home. Says I need to get rid of all my energy or I’ll be a right terror that’s what she says. I don’t ever speak to strangers but you are mummy and not a stranger so it’s perfectly fine to speak to you. My name is Jonas. What’s yours if you’re going to keep saying you’re not mummy?”

Felicity fought back a chuckle at his words. He really was a chatterbox. He reminded her of herself only she chattered incessantly when she was nervous and there was nothing nervous about this little boy. In fact he was extremely self-assured and poised, confident in his certainty that she was his mother. Felicity wondered what his little story was. She would never see him again of course but she was curious and found herself desperately wanting to know why it was that an intelligent boy like him saw fit to run up to a stranger and claim her as his mother.

“My name is Felicity. Felicity Michaels. I just moved here and I’m trying to find a new job. I’ve got a meeting with a big boss in a few hours.” She wasn’t sure why she was telling him this but he was the first person she had really met properly since her move to Starling City a week ago. 

“You really are mummy!” he beamed at her in delight. “Mummy’s name is Felicity. Felicity Smoak.”

“Why do you think I’m your mummy?” They were still walking hand in had like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“You look EXACTLY like mummy. Daddy has a picture of you on his bedside table and we have a HUUUGE picture of you in the living room. You want to come over later? I’ll show you the picture and you can see that you’re mummy.”

“I’ve got a big meeting this afternoon buddy. Maybe another time ok?

He dropped her hand and looked at her sadly as his lower lip jutted out while tears pooled in his eyes threatening to fall down his face. “You’re lying. You’re just saying that so I won’t call you mummy anymore. You think I’m just a dumb kid who is confused about who his mummy is.” 

“Hey buddy don’t cry.” Felicity patted his shoulder awkwardly. She found herself longing to give him a hug. “I wasn’t lying to you. I really have somewhere to be this afternoon. Tell you what. I’m honestly not your mummy but how about I give you my phone number and you can ask your daddy if you’re allowed to call me again. If he lets you I’ll come and see the picture of your mummy okay?” Part of her knew this would put an end to his mummy nonsense as his father was most likely to refuse any requests from him to ring up some strange lady he spoke to at the playground. Another part of her felt a bit melancholy at the prospect of never seeing this little boy again. There was something inherently lovable about him.

Jonas quickly wiped his tears away and grinned broadly at her as he reached into the pockets of his cargo shorts and pulled out a lead pencil and a folded piece of paper. “Daddy says limited screen time until I’m older so I keep this handy for math.”

“You can do math?” Felicity clapped her hands in delight. “I love math too!”

He gave her a knowing before responding. “Mummy is very good at math. Daddy says I take after her. I don’t know why you keep insisting that you’re not mummy.”

Felicity, not wishing to upset him again by going into another debate as to whether she was or wasn’t his mother took the pencil and wrote down her name and number on the piece of paper. 

“Thank you mummy. That’s Raisa over there. Do you want to come and say hi?” He pointed to a middle-aged lady who was engrossed in her paper. Felicity was half tempted to go up and introduce herself, mainly to show the boy’s nanny how dangerous it was to let him run around alone but thought the better of it. She didn’t know what their family dynamics were and shouldn’t breeze in with her judgment. She also didn’t want Jonas to get excitable and declare that she was his mummy again. 

Taking another good look at him, Felicity suddenly felt upset. She was most likely never going to see him again and there was something about him that drew her to him, mummy exclamations aside. To hell with it! Felicity crouched down to his level and held out her arms. Before she could ask him for a hug he launched himself into them, burying his face into the shoulder of her new pink dress but somehow she didn’t mind at all. 

“You might not believe that you are mummy but you are every bit as nice and wonderful as I’d imagine you to be. I love you mummy.”

“It was lovely meeting you Jonas. I think you’re my first friend in Starling City. I hope we see each other again.” As Felicity said this she realized it was the truth. She hoped somehow she would see him again. He gave her another tight squeeze before running off to Raisa. Felicity stood behind a tree and watched as Jonas pointed animatedly in her direction, no doubt telling his nanny about “mummy”. Felicity hoped this Raisa person would take Stranger Danger seriously after this.

***

“Daddy, there’s mummy over there!!!” Jonas exclaimed excitedly, tugging onto the hem of Oliver’s jacket. They were there for a product launch by Queens Consolidated. Oliver who had been putting in long hours at City Hall this week had opted to relax his rules about bedtime and bring Jonas along in an attempt to spend some time with his son. Jonas was an eater and loved stuffing himself with canapés.

“You didn’t believe me daddy but I was telling the truth and now you can see for yourself. Mummy is right over there.” Jonas tugged on his suit jacket persistently and Oliver sighed as he briefly ran through his head all the ways he could deal with this right now.

Jonas had returned from the playground a few weeks ago unable to talk about anything but Felicity, or rather “Mummy” as he referred to her fondly as if she were real. Then there were the tears that ensued when Oliver had explained that he couldn’t have seen mummy and had refused to call the number which the preschooler had insisted he try to contact. There was a part of Oliver that desperately wanted to believe his son, to call the number and miraculously find Felicity again. 

Felicity who for four years had haunted his dreams and sometimes his waking moments too. He had chastised himself sternly. He was the adult here, he needed to be the grown up and set a sane example for Jonas by not encouraging him on these flights of fancy. Still a small shred of hope led him to question Raisa who had confirmed that Master Jonas returned from play babbling about seeing mummy yet Raisa had not seen anyone else in the playground.

Oliver had sat Jonas down and told him that sometimes when you wanted something very badly, your imagination can trick you into seeing things that aren’t there. His son had been rather unperturbed by this speech and insisted faithfully that he did met mummy and mummy was even more funny and nice than he had imagined. Oliver decided to let the matter drop for the time being seeing as all his research suggested this was an age where children often found it difficult to separate reality from fantasy. Jonas had always longed to meet his mother. This was probably his minds way of dealing with it, an imaginary mummy instead of imaginary friend. However after tonight’s outburst at a public event Oliver made a mental note to book an appointment with a paediatric psychologist as soon as he could. 

Before he had re-gathered his thoughts to address Jonas, the little boy had given him one more tug before letting go and running full pelt, throwing himself onto a red dress clad figure and clinging on tightly. 

“Mummy,” Jonas exclaimed as he latched himself around the leg of a shocked Felicity who’s face broke into a huge smile when she realized who it was that was clinging onto her leg like a little monkey.

“My goodness Jonas I didn’t expect to see you here of all places,” she exclaimed when she had sufficiently recovered from her shock. Carefully she pried him off her leg and lifted him up for a big hug, vaguely aware that they were causing a bit of a scene and that she was now holding someone else’s kid in public which was ridiculous because she had no particular affinity towards children but Jonas’s feelings were at stake here and in that moment Felicity didn’t care who was looking or what they were thinking. That little boy’s happiness was the most important thing to her. 

“I told you she really was Mummy,” Jonas called to someone and Felicity turned around to see a familiar handsome face staring intently at her, the pain and torment in his blue eyes unmistakable. Mayor Queen. Major Queen was Jonas’s father. She had read in an article that he was a widow and considered very eligible despite being a single father. Now it appeared that she was a dead ringer for his deceased wife, Jonas’s mom.

“Felicity,” he whispered and in that one word managed to convey all the hope, love and affection that he clearly felt for his wife.

Shifting uncomfortably and still holding Jonas up in her arms, Felicity did the only thing she could do when she was nervous. She began to ramble. 

“Hi, sorry I didn’t mean to hold onto your son but he’s convinced that I’m his mother. I’ve tried to tell him that I’m not. I hope you don’t think I’m walking around tricking little children into thinking that I’m their mom. We, Jonas and I, met the other week in a playground and I must look remarkably like his mom. I err have tried to tell him that I’m not. My name is Felicity Michaels.” 

She extended a hand, still balancing Jonas on her hip with her other arm. He was a solid kid despite his slim looking build. Felicity wondered what the etiquette was. Should she hand him back to his father who was still looking dazed and thunderstruck or should she continue to hold him, which if she was being truthful, she did enjoy. Seeing that Jonas’s father had refused her handshake ad was still staring at her like he was lost in a trance, Felicity decided to opt for the middle road. She gave Jonas an affectionate squeeze before placing him onto the ground where he once again clung onto her leg contently while gazing at his father to see how things were going to unfold next.

“Felicity,” Oliver murmur, touching her cheek softly with his fingers to feel for himself whether she was real or had he finally succumbed to madness as the last four years of missing her had finally taken their toll on him. For a brief moment she leaned into the touch, her eyes downcast and dreamy as if she too could feel the pull between them. Then suddenly her eyes snapped open as she backed away from him.

“Mayor Queen I think this is a case of mistaken identity. I just moved here a few weeks ago. I can assure you that I’ve never set foot in this city before.”

“Felicity are you punishing me for the past or have you really forgotten about us.” He advanced towards her, unaware and not caring that any number of people could be watching their exchange.

“I really am not who you think I am Mayor Queen. I gather that I must look very similar to your wife and have the same first name it seems but I assure you that I’ve never been married or had children before.” She spoke to him carefully and kindly, as if he were a lit fuse waiting to explode. Oliver realized she had not addressed Jonas with the same wariness. There was a genuine affection in the way she handled Jonas. She couldn’t help lavishing affection on his little boy. Even now as she stared at Oliver like he was a madman, she had one arm protectively slung around Jonas who was still clinging onto her leg and watching the exchange curiously with a measure of joy on his face.

It took every ounce of Oliver’s self control to bury all his impulses to rush towards her, hold her and kiss her. There was obviously more to this and frightening her was not going to do them any good. She was his Felicity. His Felicity had returned and she was standing right here in front of him. That was all he cared about right now. He just needed her in their lives.

“I’m sorry…you just look exactly like my wife. Your face, everything about you, the way you speak, even the way your hair curls. I’m so sorry for frightening you.” He extended a hand and willed his face to appear as normal as possible, still painfully aware that despite the calm words leaving his mouth, he was still staring at her like he was in a trance. 

“Nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry to cause you two so much trauma. I must really look like your wife.” Felicity could not think of anything else to do other than to flash him a nervous smile.

“Mummy, you promised you’d come home and see the pictures we have of you around the house.” Jonas was clearly tired of observing and decided to take matters into his own hands. “Please mummy! You promised! You said that if we rang you up you’d come over and look at pictures to prove that you are mummy. Daddy didn’t believe me and wouldn’t let me ring you but now that he believes me you have to come back to see your pictures like you promised mummy.”

Oliver who knew that by this time it didn’t take much to work Jonas up and that given half the chance he’d work himself up to a wrought stage as it was well past his bedtime, decided he wasn’t going to say anything tonight. Instead he watched Felicity intently to see whether there was any hope of her giving into his son or not.

“Jonas, it’s really late buddy. Maybe another day? How about I set another time with your dad and we will go look at those pictures I promise?”

“But I want you to look at them NOW!” Jonas replied, his face growing red, his bottom lip threatening to jut out. “I want to show you that you really ARE my mummy. Oh mummy I won’t be able to sleep tonight or ever again if you don’t come over so I can prove that you are mummy.”

Felicity instinctively crouched down to his level; fully aware that Oliver’s eyes were honed in on her. The situation almost felt surreal but here she was with one very upset motherless little boy and his father whose worlds she had wreaked havoc on simply by looking identical to the dead woman they clearly adored. “Sweetie I don’t think that I’m your mummy but if I come over and look at the pictures of your mummy, will you promise that you’ll go to bed for your daddy right after?”

“I promised,” he sniffled before burying a teary face into her dress, leaving watery splotches on the fabric. Somehow she didn’t care. 

“And if I just look like you’re mummy but I’m not really your mummy you won’t get upset? Do you understand?” Felicity patted his back, an action that seemed to appease him greatly. It was strange how she seemed to know exactly how to deal with him.

“I understand,” Jonas nodded solemnly. Felicity smiled and gave the little boy a hug. As she glanced up she saw Oliver looking at her with an expression that was equal parts pleased and equal parts heartbroken.

“I hope I didn’t overstep. You looked like you were going to have a full blown tantrum on your hands there.” She spoke quietly and in a low voice, careful not to draw the attention of Jonas who having got what he wanted was temporarily distracted by a passing canapé tray.

“Not at all. Thank you for humoring him. You’ll see why he’s so intent on you being his mother soon enough. He doesn’t remember much about her although he tells me he tries really hard and wishes he did. Thank you for being kind to him.” He was clearly grateful but the pain in his eyes as he spoke the words wrung Felicity’s heart. It was evident that they had both been through more than their fair share of heartache but there was something so devastating about how hopeful and insistent Jonas was that he had finally found his mummy that hurt Felicity.

***

The large penthouse apartment was what Felicity would expect from a stereotypical bachelor pad save for the odd stray toy that was lying around and the giant portrait of her that was hanging in the living room. There was no other way to describe the portrait where a smiling, straight haired, starry-eyed version of herself was beaming at her. As Felicity stared at the photo and tried to examine it desperately for flaws, or in this case anything that would give way to the idea that she simply had similar features to the deceased Felicity Smoak and was not in fact identical to her looks wise in every single way.

“See mummy I was telling the truth. That’s you! You even have the same name! Do you want to see more pictures of you? Daddy has lots of pictures of you. Daddy loves you a lot. Probably second best after me though.” Jonas looked at her rather apologetically, clearly feeling sorry for the fact that she was only loved second best by his father.

Felicity smiled in spite of herself and the awkward situation. She could feel Oliver’s eyes on her. What was he expecting from all this she wondered. She wasn’t, she couldn’t be his wife. It was unthinkable that she could have had this whole other life. She was so young. She did the only thing she could in that moment. She looked at him and used her eyes to send a plea for his help with Jonas. The situation had gone beyond anything she was prepared to handle. 

“Jonas, Felicity has been very good to us and come back to see the picture so I want you to brush your teeth and change into your pajamas for bed okay?” Oliver spoke with the expertise of one who had done this many times before.

“But mummy still doesn’t think that she’s mummy yet,” Jonas protested. Felicity leaned down to pick him up. Somehow it was such a natural feeling for her to pick up this little boy and hold him even if he was as heavy as a sack of rocks.

“Jonas, why don’t you do as your father says? I agree with you that I look exactly like your mummy but I’m me and my name is Felicity Michaels. Do you think we can be friends for now, until we find out why I look so much like your mummy?”

“That’s because you are mummy silly! That’s why you look like her! You’re the same person. But mummy you were lost for many years so maybe you don’t remember daddy and I anymore. Maybe we need to help you remember.”

“Maybe,” Felicity echoed as Oliver continued to stare at her. Seeing her with Jonas unleashed a host of demons he had tried to keep at bay all these years. She looked away from his searching gaze and turned her attention back to Jonas. 

“Jonas, if your daddy gives his permission, perhaps we can be friends first you and I?

“Yes,” Jonas agreed enthusiastically. “Daddy can we be friends with mummy and then one day she’ll remember that she’s mummy and come live with us again?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Oliver responded, his eyes never leaving Felicity’s face.

*** 

“It’s like looking into a mirror isn’t it?” Oliver’s spoke quietly as she continued to stare at the portrait. Having tucked Jonas in bed and leaving her to her thoughts, he was now standing mere inches from her.

“Your wife, did she have a twin sister?”

It was a ridiculous question to ask when she had suspected the answer already. There was only one reason why she looked identical to Felicity Smoak. She was Felicity Smoak. She has no recollection of it but somehow she was Felicity Smoak.

“Felicity I think we both know I don’t need to answer that question. How long do you intend to punish us for? I thought before you vanished that we were in a good place. All these years, people tried to hint to me that maybe you left, maybe you abandoned us but I never believed them. So now I want to hear it from you. Whatever it was that you may have felt or didn’t feel towards me I know you loved Jonas and it’s clear that you still do.” 

He took another step towards her, crowding her yet somehow she didn’t feel intimidated. This was bigger than whatever her history was with Oliver Queen. Her entire existence, everything she thought she knew, decisions she made that she thought were prudent, were all so very wrong. 

She leaned in towards him and looked at him with confusion, her eyes pleading with him to understand where she was coming from. To know that she wasn’t toying with him and that she would certainly never intentionally hurt Jonas.

“Oliver I don’t remember you. Or Jonas. I…I don’t remember anything. I’m supposed to be Felicity Michaels, I’m an excellent programmer and I came to Starling City for a fresh start. I have never heard or known of a person called Felicity Smoak before. I don’t remember anything about my past.”

“Felicity,” he whispered lovingly as he reached over to wipe a stray tear that had somehow fallen down her cheek.

“Felicity,” he breathed again pulling her closer, like her name was the key to unlocking all the secrets in the universe and solving all their problems. Their noses touched and their lips were on the verge of meeting when Felicity pulled away. No. She had made so many mistakes already she wasn’t about to rush head in and make another one.

“I…there are some things I need to work out. I will see you and Jonas again. Can you just give me a few days and I will try to explain some things to you. There are things that I need to work out myself.”

“Please,” she pleaded in a small voice after seeing the broken look on his face.

“I love you. I’ve never stopped,” he finally said as they stood still, watching each other silently.

“I believe you but I don’t remember ever being loved by you,” Felicity admitted sadly. It was the truth there was no doubt that he loved his wife or her as it was beginning to seem more and more like she and Felicity Smoak were the same person in a previous life.

He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, an action that was oddly intimate for someone she had literally met only a few hours ago, yet somehow it felt right. Like he had done it many times before. 

*** 

Felicity sprinted up to her townhouse, slamming the door shut and locking it as quickly as her fingers would allow her to. She dashed to the bedroom and rummaged through her draws, before pulling out an old cookie tin where she stashed all her papers and treasures.

She picked up the object she was looking for and stared at it. Such an innocuous, ordinary little beaded bracelet. She had kept it out of sheer sentiment, as it had never been of any use in unraveling the mystery of her past. Felicity ran her hands over the multi coloured beads, some with letters written on them. The letters spelled out F-E-L-I-C-I-T-Y.

She had made a big mistake. She should have been more focused, should have followed her gut instinct to further explore the mystery behind who she was in her past life before her memories vanished. It made her ill to think that she had potentially robbed Jonas of years with his mother and caused Oliver all this pain. 

Felicity wiped her tears away and reached for her phone. It was late but she desperately needed to speak to John.


	2. 2013

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys!
> 
> Thank you for all your lovely comments and kudos in response to the first chapter! I am tickled pink that you guys like the story so much and still read it despite all my disclaimers! 
> 
> I was so motivated by your interest I just had to update a bit earlier for you!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

 

“Johnny you haven’t spoken to me, or should I say you have avoided me for three years and the first thing you do is request a private meet up in this secluded spot. If I didn’t know any better I’d think this was a date,” Lyla teased as she sauntered up to him. She looked…good. Really good actually and even in the midst of the crisis he was trying to deal with John Diggle took a moment to appreciate the view afforded by his ex wife. It had been a few years since their marriage ended and they had parted on fairly amicable terms even if they cut off all social contact with each other for the sake of avoiding any awkwardness as they did work for the same covert government agency. Not the CIA, the even more covert agency, ARGUS.

Lyla sat down next to him and looked at him expectantly. “So what is it that has you reaching out after all these years Johnny?” 

“I need your help. With a girl.” The grave manner in which he spoke implied that this girl was important to him. 

“Really Johnny?” Lyla raised an eyebrow at her ex husband. There was any number of things he could have asked her for; this was not what she had on her list of guesses.

John chuckled and shook his head. “No, not like that. I check the box marked single box these days when it comes to romance. I led one of the missions in Russia and as expected things rarely go to plan. Stumbled on a shipping container full of girls they were planning to ship out to be sold overseas. The victims were able to tell us who they were and we’ve since sent them back to their families. But there is this one girl who is still unconscious with severe head wounds. I have reason to believe that she’s American although we can’t identify her at all. She’s under care in ARGUS right now but Waller’s goodwill has run out and she wants to dump the kid in a facility in Russia somewhere. Waller says she was found in Russia so she’s Russia’s problem and I don’t have any proof other than a bracelet and a hunch to prove that she’s American.”

“Even if she were American, Waller is not going to let ARGUS resources be wasted on a charity case.” Lyla who had worked closely with Amanda Waller for many years knew better than anyone the way Director Waller operated.

“That’s where I need you. The only person you answer to is Waller.” John was always a bit of a bleeding heart and missions had always affected him more than they did her but it was strange to see him so caught up in some girl he had never even spoken to.

“You want me to stash her somewhere, get her the medical care she needs without Waller knowing?” Lyla finished outlining his request for him. 

“Please Lyla. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t feel strongly about it. She’s just a kid. Twenty-one, twenty-two maybe, I can’t tell for sure. Maybe was holidaying in Russia and took an ill-fated wrong turn. I don’t want her to rot in a Russian hospital somewhere.”

“What makes you think she’s American?” 

“This,” John held up a multi coloured plastic beaded bracelet with the word “Felicity” spelled out on it.

Lyla examined the bracelet quickly and looked like she wanted to say something but thought the better of it. Instead she handed back the bracelet to him before responding. “Tell me where she’s currently being kept and I’ll see what I can do about it. I’ll let you know once I’ve dealt with her and she’s secure.” 

“If I didn’t know you better I’d be nervous about you using words like _dealt with_ ,” John smiled. “Thanks Lyla. I owe you one.” For a moment he considered extending his hand out for a handshake but thought better of it and pulled her in for hug. Lyla, not to be outdone hugged him back emphatically, like it was no big deal at all before pulling away.

“Johnny these days I check the box marked single too,” Lyla grinned at him as she walked off.

*** 

“Ollie! Ollie are you in there? Ollie open the door.” Laurel’s persistent voice could be heard outside his penthouse as she continued to call for him to let her in. One of these days he was going to tell Mike the building doorman that he wanted her banned from the building completely. Oliver was tempted to pretend that he wasn’t home but he had just managed to get Jonas down for a nap and the last thing he wanted was for Laurel’s persistent calling to wake up his son. He had avoided all her texts and calls hoping she would just leave him alone but clearly the strategy was backfiring.

Laurel was nothing if not persistent in her determination to ensure that he moved on. It had been 6 months since Felicity’s disappearance. In that time he had quit his role at Queens Consolidated and was holed up at home raising his son and refusing to see most people. His parents were worried albeit supportive. They had seen their son on a downward spiral before and considering the magnitude of his devastation this time, spending his days at home sober while taking care of Jonas seemed like a relatively harmless way of dealing with his grief.

“Ollie!!! Open up!” Laurel yelled again and Oliver trudged to the door, irritation and resentment bubbling inside him. On some level he understood she was trying to help because she cared and they were old friends but mostly he just wanted Laurel to go the hell away and leave him alone. 

“Can you keep it down Jonas is napping,” he snapped at Laurel as he opened the door.

“Isn’t he too old for naps?” Laurel sailed in, eying the apartment disagreeably, examining it for things to find fault with. She had been a strong advocate of him hiring a full time nanny for Jonas and had been horrified when he quit QC to take care of his son. Jonas had lost his mother, there was no conceivable way Oliver was handing his son off to another person. The little boy was all he had left of Felicity. 

Oliver ignored the comment about the nap, as he did most other comments by Laurel when it came to her dispensing her wisdom about all matters. Laurel might be a successful hot shot lawyer and he might be a train wreck who had lost almost everything but the only thing keeping him afloat these past few months was the fact that he was doing a decent job of taking care of his son. Jonas was happy, healthy and blitzing through his milestones like a champ. Felicity would have been so proud. Not that she would have cared about milestones. He remembered the early days Jonas was first born. Oliver had read up to half a dozen books on baby rearing and was determined to do everything by the book. Felicity, his bookworm Felicity, was so much more relaxed and had a “go with the flow” approach to everything. Absentmindedly he reached out and touched her portrait, the picture was smiling at him, vivacious and beautiful as ever. If only she could just walk out of the picture and come back to him.

“That giant photo of Felicity is not the best way to get closure Ollie. You really should get rid of it.” Laurel’s voice jolted him from his reverie.

Instinctively he moved towards the photo, blocking it with his body. “What do you want Laurel? I’m strictly all about child rearing these days so I don’t know what it is I can do for you.”

Laurel’s expression softened as she reached out and tried to touch his cheek, a gesture that made him cringe a bit. “I’m worried about you Ollie. Felicity has been gone for months. Either she doesn’t want to be found or something has happened to her. None of your private investigators have been able to find anything. You seem like you keep waiting for her to come back. How long are you going to wait while ignoring everyone else around you? I know you loved her but in time you’ll find that life goes on if you give yourself a chance. You had a life before her and you’ll have one after her.”

Oliver closed his eyes and willed himself to take deep breaths. The last thing he wanted was to get into an argument with Laurel over something that was none of her business and wake up Jonas at the same time.

“There is no moving on Laurel. She was it for me. I don’t know if I can ever move on. Right now I’m just trying to survive day by day for the sake of my baby. My wife vanished and they still haven’t found her body so excuse me if I’m not too concerned about anyone else besides Jonas right now.” 

“You’re the heir to the Queen Empire and you’re 30 years old,” Laurel looked at him with an expression that was almost a scowl. “You cannot just hide from the world and wallow. You need to hire Jonas a proper nanny and return to QC. The company needs you.”

“The company never needed me and there is no way I’m leaving my baby. I don’t think we should be discussing this anymore Laurel. The noise will wake Jonas up.” He moved towards the door, his body language strongly hinting that it was time for Laurel to leave.

Noting Oliver’s tone and stance Laurel opted to change tact and smiled at him. She had underestimated how enamored he was with Felicity. Clearly he needed more time. For all her rash ways Laurel was extremely patient when it came to Ollie. She had come to accept that she wasn’t the love of his life; however the history they shared meant that she was a close second. Laurel knew in her bones that had things been different, had Oliver never met Felicity Smoak he would have been hers. 

Felicity was out of the picture now. She will bite her tongue for as long as she needed to, to let him mourn. In the meantime she’d try her best to be helpful with Jonas and provide that child with the mother figure he needed.

“I’m sorry Ollie. I’m just really worried about you. I know you better than anyone and I want to help you with this. I want to be there for you and Jonas.”

“Laurel I don’t want to be rude but the best thing you can do for me right now is to leave me alone. I’ve only got two hours before Jonas wakes up. I appreciate the gesture but next time don’t ever knock on the door or call out as he could be switching sleep cycles and more prone to wake up.” He looked expectantly towards the door again as he spoke, clearly sending the message that he wanted her out of his home.

Laurel pressed her lips together and looked like she wanted to say something further but thought the better of it. He was clearly going through some sort of rebellious crisis in response to Felicity’s death and it was manifesting in his obsession with the child he had with Felicity. Similar to his earlier years when they were together and he would party excessively and cheat on her. It was a phase only this time she will be there when he got over it and was ready to take the next step. This time there will be no Felicity Smoak.

***

“How are my two favourite ladies?” John asked as he poked his head through the door of the Argus safe house where Felicity had been living with Lyla for the past few months. They had taken to calling her Felicity because of the bracelet found on her.

Lyla true to her word had managed to make Felicity vanish from under Waller’s radar. This had not been a particularly difficult feat as Waller merely viewed the comatose girl as an inconvenience and did not care to waste time pondering where or why she had disappeared. Waller assumed she had been dealt with appropriately. 

“I think only Lyla is the favourite here,” Felicity replied cheekily walking over to give John a hug. It was a miracle how far she had come from being in a coma with various broken bones to the pink-cheeked smiling girl standing before him. John returned her hug, grinning happily at Lyla who was watching them with a smile on her face. “I’m the inconvenience who has caused you so much trouble for the last few months.” 

“Careful with her Johnny, she’s broken her fair share of bones already. I’ll shoot you if you break her.” Lyla who only agreed to this prolonged babysitting gig because it was so important to John, clearly had developed a soft spot for the girl she had been guarding for the past few months.

“You’re no trouble at all Felicity. All things considered it could have been much worse. I just popped by to say hi and see how you’re doing? Any new developments?” He took a step back to scrutinize her.

“I’m in good spirits but don’t remember a thing.” Felicity wrinkled her nose. Once the initial distress and terror of not remembering a single thing about herself had worn off, she simply accepted her memory loss, even cracking jokes every now and then about her inability to recall anything about her life. Despite being utterly lost, she felt safer than ever with two kick ass agents hovering around her. Whatever the circumstances surrounding her attack, she was now probably the most well guarded woman in the country. Sometimes she wondered about the family she left behind, if she had any at all, but being unable to recall anything, not even a flash or glimmer meant that it was very hard to dwell on people who were nameless and faceless to her. 

“I did find out I’m good with computers!” she grinned at John who looked at her in surprise. 

“I brought home a bullet ridden laptop trying to work out which analyst could get the data off for me and how long it would take when she just swooped in and did it in under 30 minutes,” Lyla explained.

“It’s like that laptop unlocked something in my brain,” Felicity told John cheerfully. “No idea how or why I know this stuff but apparently I can code in just about any language. Maybe I was a nerd in the past life? You know since I need glasses and can code like crazy.”

“I’m glad you dropped by Johnny. It’s time we talked actually. All three of us. Felicity apart from having no memories has fully recovered from her physical injuries. I’d prefer to set up something more permanent for her. Something that isn’t tied to ARGUS.” Lyla was always a direct woman. Felicity was in awe of her most of the time and could see why John was attracted to her. She had managed to wheedle some information from him once, finding out that they were married a few years ago but had gone their separate ways. Why that happened Felicity didn’t know, as it was clear they were still in love with each other. 

“Are there, you know databases I can hack into to find out who I am? I mean we have a first name right? The bracelet? It’s hand made and can’t be traced but we have my name Felicity to go off. I could try to hack into super secret government databases and look for all the Felicities in existence?” Seeing both Lyla and John stare at her she quickly muttered, “Or not. You don’t approve of my plan?”

“Felicity you were beaten to death and then put into a shipping container to be sold by human traffickers. No other girl in that container sustained injuries like yours and they were all native Russians. We can help you find out who you are but do you think the truth is the best thing for you? Should you even return to that life or know anything about it at all?” There was no doubt in John’s tone as to what he thought she should do. From the moment she woke up from her coma that man had hovered around her like a mother hen. The last thing he wanted was for her to return to her past life, which he perceived to be dangerous.

“I…I hate mysteries,” Felicity sighed in frustration. It was true. She may not know who she was but she knew that she was as curious as a cat by nature and it plagued her that she would never know who she was and why she had ended up here.

“Felicity, I’m not the kind of woman who believes in miracles but you were given a second chance. What you want to do with it is up to you. I can help you find out who you are or I can set up a new identity for you and let you be whoever you want to be. Start over. You have an advanced skill set. I can get you all the papers for the right qualifications and you can join the world again, be anyone you want to be, have a completely normal life away from whatever threat that made you end up here.” 

Whether she wanted them to or not, Lyla’s words affected her deeply. Lyla had been very good to her, more than she could expect from anyone, however she had been fairly neutral and detached in her interactions with Felicity. Unlike John who seemed to have an instant brotherly affection towards her, Lyla had always been pragmatic. It threw Felicity for a loop that she was echoing John’s advice with the same hint of worry in her voice.

***

“Ollie, eat!” Thea gestured towards the Thai take out which she ordered and plated up while he put Jonas to bed.

“Thanks for stopping by to play with Jonas and for dinner Speedy,” Oliver smiled at his sister. He meant it too. Everyone in his life was either overbearing or walking around him on eggshells almost as if he was so traumatized he would snap at any moment. Thea was different. She was concerned, she made him eat, she came over and played with Jonas, yet for the most part she left him alone to wallow in his grief while making it abundantly clear that she would be there for him if he needed her.

“Someone’s got to take care of you now that you’re busy taking care of Jonas,” Thea responded lightly before taking a bite of her pad thai. “Would you mind if I took him out sometime? He’s older now and easier to juggle. I’d love to take him to a café or something. You know, do the cool aunt thing.”

“I don’t know Speedy. You’d be horrified at the amount of stuff you have to pack just to go out for two hours. And you can’t just sit and a café and stare at each other. You need to entertain him.” Oliver looked nervous at the idea of handing his son over to anyone else.

“Ollie have you thought it would be good for him? For the both of you to just spend a few hours apart. Let him be handled by someone else besides you?” Thea stopped munching on her Waterfall salad and looked at him with concern written all over her face. So this was what she was angling at, Oliver thought to himself. 

“Speedy I’m his father, I’m all he has,” he paused for a moment before adding, “he’s all I’ve got.” 

“And I’m his Aunt. I’m not saying hand him over to me or Mom and Dad permanently Ollie. I just think it would be good for him to spend a few hours with Aunty Thea every week, and more importantly for you to feel that you can be away from him without being anxious.” 

Thea studied her brother’s face carefully. He hadn’t started glaring at her and hinting for her to leave yet, which she took to be a good sign. “Tell you what Ollie, the first time I take him out I’ll just go to the coffee shop a block from here and give him a rusk and some apple slices okay? You can practically walk over to find us by foot in three minutes if you want to.”

“I suppose it might be good for him to get used to a few more people,” Oliver finally answered. One of his main concerns was whether he was providing Jonas with as normal an upbringing as possible or whether his grief for Felicity was interfering with his parenting.   

“You should go out sometime. See what the world is like these days beyond child rearing.” Thea knew she was pushing her luck with that comment but today Oliver seemed to be in a better mood than usual. He had managed by a pure stroke of luck to take a video of Jonas’s first steps and that had pretty much set the tone for the rest of his day. 

“Let’s see how Aunty Thea handles a few toddler outings by herself first before I start making grand plans to go out,” Oliver smiled. “Besides even if I didn’t want to take care of him myself, there is no one that I would trust with him. Unless you are thinking of quitting your volunteering work at City Hall to become his nanny.” Oliver’s tone was teasing but there was a hint of pride in his voice. His rebellious, wild child baby sister was now a hard working volunteer who spent her Saturday nights visiting him and her nephew.

“You could always ask Raisa you know.” Ollie was being remarkably receptive to all her suggestions today she couldn’t resist putting that particular idea on his radar. Who knew when he would stumble back into his usual broody moroseness next. Thea felt like she needed to strike while the iron was hot. 

“Raisa was telling me the other day how much she missed raising babies since she feels pretty bored at home with you gone and me only blowing in and out of home every day for a few hours.”

“Don’t hold your breath Speedy, it’s going to be a long time before I let my little boy go into someone else’s care.” Ollie didn’t sound angry or annoyed. Merely like he was stating some facts for her. Thea took it as a good sign. Baby steps. That was what her brother needed. Jonas may have managed to toddle three steps today but Oliver needed to be able to pull himself up to a stand first. 

***

“Felicity Michaels, aged 25, you hold a degree in Computer Science at Caltech,” Lyla ran through the new identity she had constructed for Felicity, while stacking all her relevant documentation such as birth certificates, passports, college transcripts and even high school report cards neatly. 

“Only a basic degree in Computer Science?” Felicity queried looking slightly disappointed. “Since we’re going all out with the whole fresh start/new life thing can’t I have more impressive qualifications? Maybe a doctorate in something? You’ve given me a few trials and I _know_ my way around a computer.” She looked at John and Lyla hopefully. John looked amused but deferred to the big boss on this matter.

“We don’t want anything that will make you unique and have people pay attention to you,” Lyla answered patiently. “You’re to appear as unremarkable as possible. Besides I gave you degree from Caltech which is more than satisfactory.”

Felicity nodded. Lyla was right. From now on she was just going to be an ordinary girl, living a mundane life, doing whatever it was 25 year olds do. If she was even 25 at all. There was a good chance Felicity was younger however given her already too youthful looks, they all thought it was prudent to bump her age estimate up by a few years.

“If anyone asks you are an orphan, bounced from one foster home to another, incredibly smart and hardworking who funded your college tuition through funds left to you by a deceased elderly Uncle.” Lyla was extremely thorough and had looked on meticulously while she instructed Felicity to create an airtight computer trail of her new life.

“If we weren’t trying so hard for non standout surnames you could have been Felicity Diggle,” John remarked making both Felicity and Lyla laugh.

“I’ll see you guys again right? This won’t be goodbye forever?” Felicity suddenly found herself clinging to John’s arm like a child.

“We’ll check in on you from time to time. Make sure you’re safe.” Lyla was not a woman fond of flowery words or sentimental declarations but her warm smile said all that needed to be said.

John on the other hand pulled Felicity in for a big bear hug. “I’ll be around looking out for you kiddo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was much needed and I know there was no Olicity but rest assured they will be back next chapter!


	3. 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!!!
> 
> Here is your update! Hope you like it!
> 
> A few of you have expressed concern about whether there is any cheating/unfaithfulness in this story so I thought I'd clarify things. There will be absolutely NO cheating by either party in this story. In fact you can assume that's true for ALL my stories. I am not interested in and will never be interested in writing a story where one party cheats on the other! So no need to worry!

“John are there any more details, anything else you can think of that you haven’t told me about my condition and the circumstances in which you found me,” Felicity asked. She had hopped on the earliest flight she could book, determined to meet with John to pick his brains for details before returning to Starling to face Oliver and Jonas.

Both Felicity and John had agreed to keep any meeting between Felicity and the Diggles strictly out of Starling City in order to keep her new identity safe. John, paranoid agent that he was, insisted they met on neutral ground in a city that neither of them inhibited. The revelation that she was Felicity Smoak and that by pure coincidence she ended up colliding with her old life in Starling City had shaken John to the core and he was now convinced that she needed to be more vigilant than ever inorder to protect herself from whatever threat that had tried to end her life the first time.

“I’ve told you everything. Lyla and I have analysed everything together and between us we’ve never been able to work out why you ended up in that storage container. If you were a human trafficking victim you should not have sustained those injuries, especially since they were unique to only you. Even when you told me there was a chance that you were Felicity Smoak and we ran up searches on your old persona we still couldn’t find anything that would explain why you ended up there.”

John looked rattled, more distraught than she had expected him to be. Truth be told he had whole-heartedly convinced himself that Felicity’s old life was dead, buried and forgotten. For years he made sure both he and Lyla deliberately never delved into the mystery of who she was.

Yet here she was sitting across from him, digging into a large piece of blueberry pie and ice cream, the Felicity he knew and loved and wanted the best for, telling him that she had crashed straight into her old life complete with a husband and child. John had encountered many things as an ARGUS agent but he had never felt a sense of responsibility has heavy as he did for Felicity’s well being.

“I looked up everything I could about Felicity Smoak too, gawd it’s weird talking about myself, the old me, like I was someone else completely. Anyway she…I was squeaky clean, IQ of 170, Masters Degree from MIT in Cyber Security and Computer Sciences.”

“That’s impressive.” There was a hint of pride on John’s voice despite him not finding her entanglement with old life desirable. “Goes to show you are impressive whoever you are Felicity Michaels.”

He paused mid smile and his face darkened as he recalled something. Something unpleasant. “After I got you medical care, while you were unconscious I went to visit you and discussed your injuries with the ARGUS doctor. Your wounds were severe but they were haphazard. Like someone wanted to hurt you but they panicked and just delivered random blows. There seemed to be no deliberate hits designed to kill so my guess is that it could have been someone inexperienced or someone who balked while trying to attack you. Could explain why you were in that shipment container. Maybe they panicked and dumped your body in there.”

Felicity shuddered at his words and wrapped her arms around herself. For years she had avoided thinking about this. She had emphatically adopted her new identity and had done everything in her power to move forward, pretending that certain parts of her life such as her attack did not exist. She never visited the memories of her early days in Lyla’s care if she could help it. Yet now it was vital for her to dig through every detail with a fine toothcomb to work out what had happened to her.

“You ok?” John asked concern written all over his face.

“I will be,” Felicity managed a small smile. “I have the most loveable, adorable and clever little boy called Jonas and a really hot husband. Or ex husband. Actually I’m not sure where we stand since I’m supposed to be dead but he seems to be very much in love with his dead wife. Or me. It’s a bit confusing.” Felicity found herself smiling a genuine, happy smile in spite of her circumstances. She could feel her spirits lift at the mere mention of Jonas and Oliver. John did not fail to notice the sparkle in her eyes either.

“Ahh yes Oliver Queen, billionaire trust fund boy turned upstanding father and Mayor of Starling,” John said with a smile. “Lyla and I had every inch of his life examined under a microscope and apart from a misspent play boy youth that had nothing to do with you he checks out clean. Plus he pretty much spent the last four years raising your son and mourning you. So we can completely clear him from any suspicion.” 

“You…you mean you suspected him of trying to kill me?” Felicity almost spluttered her coffee. The thought hadn’t ever crossed her mind. The way Oliver had looked at her, there was so much love there. A world of hurt and regret maybe but so much love.

“It’s often the simplest answer and the person closest to the victim,” John responded calmly. “But don’t worry your boy checks out squeaky clean. I was pleasantly surprised actually. He was very much in love with you.”

John paused for a moment and when he continued he looked wistful. “I’m so sorry Felicity. Lyla and I, we wanted what we thought was best for you. We fought so hard to save you and take care of you; we just wanted you to live this safe ideal life that we designed for you. If I had any inkling that you left behind a husband and child, we would have done things differently. You seemed so young, being married and possibly having a kid wasn’t something that ever crossed our minds and in the end it was just easier to assume you had nothing to return to because it justified pushing you to take the new identity.” 

Felicity reached across the table to give John’s hand a reassuring pat. “I know John, I know. Don’t forget you did offer me a choice and I agreed with you. I don’t want you to feel that you guys were in any way responsible for this. Hell if it weren’t for you there would be no memory loss or Jonas and Oliver to consider. I might have died, been sold as a sex slave.” 

John’s face stilled at her last sentence as his expression became severe looking. “Felicity that new husband of yours might be a good guy and you have a child together but don’t forget someone wanted you dead. Now that you’ve stepped back into your old life you can never forget that ok.”

“Oh I fully intend to look into what happened now that I can’t run from my past anymore.” Seeing the dark cloud over John’s face, Felicity tugged at his hand in an attempt to reassure him. “I will be careful I promise. Oliver and I…we have a lot of things to discuss. But I promise you John I will be extremely careful.”

“You need to keep me in the loop do you understand?” John demanded sternly.

Felicity smiled at his expression. “I’ve only seen Jonas a few times but Oliver says the exact same thing when he wants to make sure Jonas gets the message about something serious. But yes John, I do understand and I will keep you informed.”

John’s posture relaxed at this and his expression softened. “So what are you and that husband of yours going to do? You guys jumping straight back into a marriage? Dating again?”

“I’m not sure,” Felicity responded honestly. “It’s all a little complicated and weird. I suddenly have a child with this guy. He’s an attractive guy, really attractive but I feel like we skipped over a hundred steps.”

Oliver was clearly in love with her but she had no memories of their past. The comment he had made when he first saw her about whether she was punishing him also made her wonder if there were any issues in their marriage and what those issues were. They really needed to talk it out and work out where they were going to go from here. Whether he still wanted her at all now that she was effectively someone else. Really the only solid tie that bound them together was the fact that she was Jonas’s biological mother. There was so much love in his eyes when he looked at her but a part of her wondered if that was all for the Felicity Smoak who “died” four years ago and not Felicity Michaels, the person she was now.

“There’s not much for me to tell you right now so how about you tell me what it’s like to marry the same woman a second time round?” she asked John mischievously, changing the subject.

***

“Thank you for letting me come over at this time. I really wanted to see Jonas but I thought it would be better if we had a talk before I saw him again. I think both he and I get over excited when we see each other and there are some things I wanted to tell you before we decide on what we should do next.” Felicity gave Oliver a nervous smile as she settled on his couch, her eyes brushing past that giant portrait of herself again. She wondered when he’d had that portrait installed. Before or after she disappeared. Felicity stared at her hands nervously. She was his long lost wife and Jonas’s mother but it felt so oddly formal being here in his house.

As if reading her mind, Oliver tentatively reached over and held onto her hand. His touch was warm and comforting. It put her at ease somewhat. “You’re a natural Felicity. You seem to know exactly how to handle him or a situation regarding him. It’s uncanny actually because it took me years to get a grip on this parenting gig.”

“You’ve done an amazing job with him. He’s so happy despite…well…you know the whole me being dead thing." 

“Jonas is remarkably resilient. I don’t know what would have happened to me after you vanished if I didn’t have him.”

“About that,” Felicity turned to face Oliver, their knees touching slightly. She noticed he was still holding onto her hand and she didn’t want him to let go. “There are a lot of things I need to tell you and I think it’s best for me to start at the beginning. I’m going to need your help with a few things too.”

He nodded, squeezing her hand encouragingly as she began to relay everything that took place in the four years that had passed between them. 

*** 

“Felicity.” There was so much pain and regret behind the way he said her name. She could see it in his eyes. He blamed himself somehow even though it wasn’t his fault at all. According to him she was working on a project for Queens Consolidated and had gone on a business trip to Russia. They Skyped after she got to her hotel and that was the last time he heard from her.

“Felicity…I wish…I should have…” He was beating himself up. He was blaming himself for not being able to save her. She could see it in his face even if she didn’t know him that well yet. Or maybe she did. Maybe she just had natural instincts when it came to him.

Felicity grabbed both of his hands and squeezed tightly. “Oliver there was nothing you could have done. It was a routine business trip. Someone wanted me dead.” 

“You were going to reduce your hours at QC after that trip. That was our plan. You were going to finalise your project and we’d work on our family.” Something about his tone suggested that they had some issues to work through in the past. Felicity was tempted to ask what it was all about but they had other matters of priority to discuss before that topic needed to be delved into. 

“What should we tell Jonas? And everyone else who is going to catch on that I look identical to Felicity Smoak when I start making the rounds. I went for an interview with Ray Palmer and I swear he had the strangest look upon seeing me but then he got over it quickly and acted fairly normal so I didn’t think anymore of it.” She noticed he tightened his grip on her hand a bit at the mention of her new boss Ray Palmer.

“You…you work for Palmer Technologies?” he finally asked his voice sounding terse.

“Yes. I just got the job. That was why I was at the launch. I’m their new head of Computational Mathematics and Programming Department. When I decided to move to Starling I lined up interviews with Kord Industries and Palmer Tech. The plan was that I would be successful in getting an offer for one of the positions. If not I was going to keep job hunting. I’m not normally like that, to go somewhere without concrete employment. Even when I first left John and Lyla I had something lined up. It was like something drew me to this city and now I know why.”

Felicity gazed in the direction of Jonas’s bedroom before turning to look at Oliver’s face. He looked tense at the mention of Ray Palmer, another mystery from the past perhaps. Ray seemed like a nice enough guy. Very cheerful and hyperactive but there was nothing sinister about him that she could read into. Felicity decided to avoid the Ray Palmer issue altogether.

“Did you want to tell Donna? God I forget how weird this must be for you seeing as you don’t remember anyone or anything and now you’ve got to navigate all this and deal with people’s reactions at the same time.” There it was, the kicked puppy look again like it was his fault. He had some serious self-blame issues. 

“At this stage no. I was thinking we just stick to the story that I am Felicity Michaels. No one can prove otherwise, I’ve made sure of it. I really need to work out who was behind what happened to me and I think it’s better if we don’t go around advertising that I am in fact Felicity Smoak back from the dead. People will talk behind your back and think it’s weird or possibly insane that you’re dating a woman identical to your dead wife but that’s just something we need to deal with. I’m more worried about Jonas to be honest. He knows I’m his mom and I’d like to let him have his mom back. I don’t want to lie to him but it’s not like we can explain the truth to him either.” Felicity rubbed her temples. Anything else she could handle but she didn’t want this to affect Jonas in a negative way.

“Felicity when you get to know our son, you’ll find that he’s very intelligent and remarkable just like his mother. We can tell him mommy has found her way back but daddy and mommy have some grown up issues to work out so he should not discuss mommy with anyone no matter what they ask him.” Oliver looked completely nonplussed about this, as if asking this of a five year old was no big deal at all. 

“You seem very confident this will not be a problem. Is it too much for his little brain to handle? I don’t want to stress him out.” Felicity looked unsure and a little worried again. How she was going to navigate her way around 5-year-old psychology was beyond her.

“You’d be surprised at how great his survival instincts are,” Oliver gave her hand a reassuring pat. “He’s a clever boy. He’ll know we need to work things out but at the same time he’ll have enough faith to leave it to us and not worry about it. He’s always been pretty good at letting certain things go. It’s how he coped with not having a mother like other kids.”

“One more thing Oliver.” Felicity reached for her bag and pulled out the beaded plastic bracelet, holding it up to show him. “This was the only thing they found on me besides the clothes I was wearing. It was why I decided to call myself Felicity. I was hoping you could tell me something about it? It looks like something a child might thread but Jonas would have been much too young at the time to make this.”

Oliver reached for the bracelet, carefully removing it from her hand all while never taking his eyes off it. “I made this for you Felicity. Back when we first met. I can’t believe you decided to wear it that night. I’ve bought you so many pieces of proper jewelry since this bracelet. I can’t believe you even kept it. You loved me.”

There it was again. That same tone that was laced with remorse and sadness. He looked like a man who had been insecure, who had doubted certain things and was now regretting ever having those feelings. Felicity desperately wanted to ask him what happened between them. She wanted to learn everything there was to know about their relationship, yet a part of her was frightened that this would cast a shadow on their future going forward. After all she did not have any memories of what transpired between them and perhaps some things were better left undiscovered in the past. 

They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity, avoiding the elephant in the room before Oliver finally spoke up.

“Are we dating?”

Felicity jumped a little at his question, suddenly feeling flustered. There should be a manual somewhere for back from the dead wives trying to date their mourning husbands again.

“I…uh…don’t know. Are we? Are you seeing anyone else? I’m not, was too busy trying to blend into my new identity but I wouldn’t blame you if you were seeing anyone else cuz you thought I was…well dead.”

“There has never been anyone else. There was never going to be anyone else. I just kept hoping…I don’t know what I was hoping for but it always felt like I needed to wait for you.” His voice was quiet but every word was clear and deliberate. They sent shivers, good shivers down her spine. 

“I’m different to the wife you lost four years ago.” She willed herself to look at his face despite being terrified of losing her composure. He had a way of making her want to melt with that look in his eyes. The look that said he had loved her like no one ever could and he could love her like that again.

“I’m different to the husband who lost you four years ago.”

Just like that the space between them closed and she could feel his face hovering only a mere few inches from her. “Felicity can we start over again? We’ve been given a second chance. Can you give me a chance to make you fall in love with me again?”

“Yes,” she sighed and closed her eyes as he leaned in to place a soft kiss on her lips.

She wanted to kiss him back she really did. She loved the way his lips felt on hers, the way his arms banded protectively around her. But those things also made her feel a flood of guilt.

Guilt that she had decided to conveniently adopt a new identity and a new life while leaving him and Jonas to suffer and grieve for her. All that sadness in his eyes, all the pain and years of loneliness raising Jonas alone. She could have saved him from all that had she bothered to investigate her past. 

She let out a little sob, causing him to freeze immediately. He pulled away and tilted his head to look at her. “Felicity I’m sorry. Did I move too fast?”

“Nono you have nothing to be sorry for,” Felicity sobbed. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I just decided to move on and didn’t bother finding out who I was. You see I didn’t remember a single thing. I still don’t and when you have no recollection of ANYTHING it’s just so easy to pretend that any life you had before didn’t exist. And I was so scared after I recovered from my injuries. I didn’t know what kind life I’d be walking back into so I just embraced being someone new. If I knew you and Jonas existed I would never have…” Her sentences were coming out in sobs as Felicity burst into tears and choked out apology after apology. 

Oliver gently guided her head onto his chest and kissed her tear stained cheeks. “Don’t you dare apologise for anything. It was NOT your fault do you understand? NONE of it. We’ve been given a second chance so lets take it and try not to blame ourselves for any of this. God knows I have my fair share of regrets but having you back in my arms makes me feel like I can finally let go of the past.”

Felicity gave way to her emotions and tucked herself into his chest, grabbing a fistful of his shirt as he rubbed her back comfortingly. 

“You’re very good at this,” she muttered in between hiccups. “You’re very soothing.”

“I’ve dealt with enough bawling toddler incidents,” he teased, nuzzling his nose into her hair. 

***

“Mommy,” Jonas whispered with an air of someone about to ask something of great importance. He was sitting in Big Belly Burger sandwiched in a booth between Felicity and Oliver, looking as pleased as punch. Mommy was back and mommy finally agreed that she was mommy even if she did say that her memory was still lost. 

“What is it darling?” Felicity asked lowering her face to his level. The pet names just flowed naturally and she found herself slipping into her role of his beloved mommy with ease as if it had always been this way.

“Can I ask a question about you and daddy even though you say I shouldn’t talk about you and daddy to anyone,” Jonas whispered again, his eyes darting around to make sure no one in the restaurant suspected what the subject of his conversation was about.

“Of course you can Jonas. You can ask mommy and daddy anything you want. We just don’t want you talking to other people about us but you can always ask us about anything.” 

She looked at him expectantly waiting for the question but instead he beamed at her and said, “That’s similar to what daddy says.”

“Oh,” Felicity gave him a puzzled look and notice that Oliver had an amused grin on his face. “What does this have to do with daddy?” 

“Daddy, Aunty Thea and I watched the Little Mermaid together and daddy told me that Ariel should have told her daddy the truth about wanting legs instead of going to Ursula the Witch, even if her daddy was a grouchy man. That’s how you get into trouble you know. You hide things from your mommy and daddy and before you know it you strike a bad deal with the witch.” 

“Oh is that so?” Felicity smiled but managed to suppress her urge to giggle. 

Jonas continued with the most earnest look on his face. “Daddy says that if I ever get into trouble or want anything I should always tell daddy right away. Daddy might grizzle but he’ll give me good advice so I won’t get tricked by a witch.” 

“Well I think daddy is a very wise man and I agree with him,” Felicity caught Oliver’s eye and smiled. “Now what did you want to ask us Jonas?”

“Are you going to move in with us and live in daddy’s room mommy?” Oliver who had just taken a sip of his milkshake choked on the mouthful before watching Felicity curiously to see what her answer was.

“Maybe,” Felicity responded, smiling despite being put on the spot. “But I think I should wait for a little while to see if you like me and if daddy likes me before I move in. I want to spend some more time with you guys first.”

“I love you mommy!” Jonas declared emphatically. “I don’t need to spend more time with you. I’m sure I love you mommy.” He turned to Oliver, demanding an answer from him. “Daddy do you love mommy? Don’t you think she’s the nicest mommy out there?” 

Felicity suddenly felt her cheeks growing warm as she stared down at her plate and picked at a french fry.

“I think mommy is the nicest girl out there and I do love mommy very much.” Oliver’s voice was firm and deliberate, leaving no doubt as to how he felt. Felicity looked up to see both her men, the big and the little, making heart eyes at her, albeit for different reasons. 

After her outburst the other day Oliver had held her on his couch for hours until she finally managed to pull herself away from him to go home. They met up several times after that to spend time with Jonas but hadn’t discussed how they planned to tackle their relationship going forward.

“There you go mommy,” Jonas gave her a cuddle and beamed at her cheerfully. “You should move in as soon as you can because both your boys love you.”

***

“I met Jonas here. I don’t know what possessed me to go in here but I felt I had to that day and he ran over insisting I was his mommy.”

Jonas who had eaten a large meal and was feeling satisfied that he had received enough attention from both parents, happily took off to climb up and down a climbing frame, while pretending to be a ninja, leaving Felicity and Oliver alone together as they watched him fondly.

“About us, I want you to know you can move in anytime you want. We have two spare bedrooms.” He paused for a second before adding with a playful glint in his eyes. “Or you can just move right into our bedroom. You’re always welcome there.” He looked her up and down, committing her image to memory. It had been far too long.

“I know I kinda put a dampener on things by crying on you the other night but you haven’t even asked me on a date yet.” Felicity teased. “I don’t know how I feel about moving into your bedroom when we haven’t even gone on a date yet.” 

“Well we do have a kid together already,” Oliver nudged her, a broad smile spreading over his face. 

“In that case I can make an exception to speed things up but you owe me at least one date,” Felicity challenged in a playful tone.

Oliver took her hands in his and took a deep breath to steady his nerves, his expression growing serious. “Felicity will you go out to dinner with me?”

“Yes,” Felicity twinkled at him, looking both pleased and delighted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still with me on this story?
> 
> Next update: We head back to the past with an Olicity meet cute


	4. 2010

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys!
> 
> Your next update! It's a bit of a long one but as I am only visiting this particular snapshot of their relationship once, I felt like I needed everything in this chapter to give you a sense of what they were like in the past and how their relationship started.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

 

Oliver wasn’t a huge coffee drinker. Neither was he a clumsy person so he didn’t know what possessed him to buy himself a giant latte, which he promptly spilled all over his laptop. He watched in horror as the milky brown liquid seeped onto his keyboard and once he had gotten over his three seconds of dismay as he thought of the presentation he had been working on all night fritzing into nothing but a bunch of sizzled computer circuits, he managed to reach over and slam his finger onto the power button, turning the laptop off as fast as he could. 

“Jeanine,” he hollered out desperately. “There’s been a disaster.”

Jeanine, his plump and extremely efficient executive assistant, aged in her fifties came running in to see what the drama was about.

“Mr. Queen Junior what on earth happened?” she asked before spotting the latte-covered laptop. Jeanine, who was always cool as a cucumber in a crisis, strode over to his desk, grabbed a giant wad of paper towels and threw them over the wet laptop, soaking up as much of the spilled latte as possible.

“That was a weeks worth of work.” Oliver’s voice was dangerously close to a whine. His father, in a bid to show the world and their social circle in Starling City that he was not a complete failure as a parent, had thrown Oliver into the role of Vice President a year earlier, threatening to cut off his trust fund if Oliver didn’t knuckle down and try to perform his duties to the best of his abilities. 

Oliver having dropped out of four colleges and barely graduating from the fifth, had tried his best to live up to his father’s expectations. Two weeks of being cut off from all funds had sent him reeling. He wasn’t prepared to survive in the real world without unlimited funds. Despite disliking the job and the circumstances in which he landed in his role, he found he could keep his head above water and do a passable, sometimes even decent job.

“Don’t panic Mr. Queen Junior. There’s a good chance this can be fixed. You need to go to Level 3 and find a girl called Felicity Smoak. She’s a Senior Programmer in the IT department but if you explain what happened she’ll help you seeing as it’s a crisis. She’s a nice little thing. If there is anyone who can save your work, it’s her.” 

Oliver, thanking his lucky stars one more time that he had inherited the best and most efficient executive assistant in the world, flashed Jeanine a grateful smile and shouted his thanks at her as he grabbed his laptop and sprinted to the lifts.

***

“Felicity Smoak? Hi, I’m Oliver Queen.” 

He put on his best charming smile. Jeanine had said she was a nice little thing who would help him but Oliver had learned a long time ago that a bit of the Ollie charm went a long way so it never hurt to bring it out. Besides Jeanine had neglected to tell him that Felicity Smoak was also a cute little thing as well. Big blue eyes behind dark framed glasses and wavy blonde hair that was pulled back in a ponytail. Her red lips were wrapped around a red pen which she was chewing while deep in thought. She had the sexy librarian look going except it was also dosed with a huge sprinkle of adorableness.

“Mr. Queen. What brings you down to the dungeon? Frak I didn’t mean to imply that you’re a cruel employer who lock us up in the dungeon. Technically your father is responsible for our conditions anyway....Which are completely satisfactory because we have lots of windows to let in natural light. But I’m assuming you didn’t come down to the IT department to listen to me babble.....which will end in 3, 2, 1.”

She clamped her lips shut and turned her head away from him before swiveling it back with an attempt at a neutral expression that was more winsome than it was neutral. Oliver found himself smiling at her again. Not because he needed to charm her but because she was charming the hell out of him.

“I need help with my laptop,” he said in what stood out as an oddly cheerful voice for someone who was technically in the midst of a crisis. “I spilt a latte on it and there’s a document that I need desperately.”

He was still smiling at her happily and feeling pleasantly upbeat. Jeanine was right about one thing at least. Felicity had helped him already, no matter what happened to that document. His laptop was still wet and probably fried but suddenly life was looking a lot better just by being in her presence. 

Felicity took his laptop, which now had a moist sugary crust on it where the milk had partially dried and examined the device. Her flustered look left her and was replaced with a determined one. A look that said no wet laptop was going to best her. This comforted Oliver greatly.

“Doesn’t look too bad. I see you had the chance to turn it off right away which is good. Overall I’d say there is a 95% chance I can recover your document for you. Take a seat and if things go well I should have it for you within the next 30 minutes. Unless you have somewhere else to be.” She patted the seat in the empty cubicle next to hers and then proceeded to wave him off at the same time, indicating that he was to make a choice as to whether he was leaving or staying. 

Oliver plopped down on the empty chair, tilted his head and watched her intently. She paid him absolutely no mind at all and was bending down to retrieve what looked like a toolbox from the bottom draw of her desk. Oliver took time to appreciate the view of her very attractive bottom that this position afforded him before smiling at the notion that she kept a toolbox in her personal stash of supplies. What girl does that?

Completely lost in her own little world and having forgotten about him, she took out what looked like a bunch of miniscule screw drivers and set to work on his machine.

***

Thirty minutes later she handed him a portable drive with a torn expression on her face. Like she desperately wanted to say something but was refraining from it. Oliver thought this strange as she had been engrossed in trying to fix his machine earlier and had ignored him for the most part.

“Here you go. All done. I checked to make sure nothing was corrupted. Your proposal for the new battery is in tact.” There was something in her voice. Like she was pining about something. For a brief moment Oliver wondered if she had a little crush on him and wanted to ask him out. He was used to this reaction from women, although he didn’t expect it from her after it became obvious that she was completely focused on his computer. Maybe his charm did work on her after all now that she wasn’t so distracted. He preened a little at this thought only to be disappointed when she spoke.

“Mr. Queen…”

“Call me Oliver, Mr. Queen is my father.”

Well that put a dampener on things. She wasn’t going to ask him out if she was referring to him as Mr. Queen. Unless she was going for some sultry thing. He furrowed his eyebrows at this thought. Felicity Smoak in her candy pink glory going all sultry on him. Now there was a pleasant thought. 

“Oliver, I don’t mean to overstep since you only asked me to retrieve some documents for you. But while I was checking through the files to make sure they weren’t corrupt, I found your presentation to the board, on the new battery that QC is developing, which is excellent…..”

She trailed off suddenly looking flustered again. Yeah she wasn’t flirting with him or asking him out. She was looking out for him though and seemed to be agonizing about something. He felt happier and lighter at the thought that she cared enough to be concerned about his presentation. The adorable way in which she was trying to manage his feelings didn’t hurt either. Girls either simpered at him like he was some God or turned into raging banshees when things didn’t work out.

“But…” he smiled at her encouragingly. Truth be told he didn’t understand half of the report on the battery that had been handed to him and had flubbed his way through most of it. If Felicity Smoak wanted to help him with the finer details who was he to get offended.

“Well…what I’m saying is…if you don’t mind…I could help you tweak some of the technical parts of your speech. We’ll keep it completely in line with the tone of the rest of your presentation of course and we can go through it together.” She gazed at him with her big blue eyes appealingly and he smiled back at her. There was obviously a first time for everything and right now a gorgeous girl was trying to charm her way into writing part of his presentation. She didn’t want a bar of him, just his presentation. That amused Oliver.

He let out a chuckle before saying, “Sure! Knock yourself out.”

Two hours later, huddled together at Felicity’s desk, they beamed proudly at each other as Oliver saved and closed his masterpiece. Felicity had not only added to his presentation but working next to her spurred him along and he found he was able to finish the whole thing with ease. She was so optimistic, so encouraging. He realized within those two hours that she was insanely smart, super genius freaky smart, yet she didn’t make him feel any less about himself. She explained concepts to him patiently and was genuinely enthusiastic when he voiced his thoughts and views on certain aspects of the project. He had never felt comfortable in his job or proud of it until now.

“Let me get you a bag so you can carry off the pieces of your laptop that I disassembled. The motherboard is fried but you can replace it and I think it should work. You should also get them to dry the joins and then just do a teeny bit of wielding, just to make sure every join is secure and hasn’t been dislodged by the liquid.”

He stared at her like she was speaking gibberish.

“Or if you don’t want it, I can salvage it for parts?” She looked very pleased at the prospect of this and he found himself beaming fondly at her again. 

“Felicity,” he finally asked when he had satisfied his urge to gaze at her beautiful face. “Would you like to go out with me? To dinner?”

“You mean as a thank you for helping you recover the file?” she queried looking thoughtful.

“No as in a date,” he replied taking a step closer to her. This innocent looking, sunshine and rainbows girl rattled him and inspired him both at the same time. He needed to test out what was going on here.

“No,” she mumbled, taking a step back, looking a little stressed.

“No?” he echoed, tilting his head to examine her expression and also processing his own disappointment at the same time. 

“I work for QC and you are the VP. You came down here for some technical help and suddenly you ask me out. That’s going to look really bad and inappropriate so…no. Although you’re really hot and my saying no is not due to the fact that I don’t find you attractive because I do, find you attractive I mean, but I’ve worked really hard to get to where I am and I can’t throw that away for one date with my really hot boss, which will probably amount to nothing anyway so the answer is no.”

She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at him sheepishly once she got that speech out of her system. She reached over, gave his arm a pat and ushered him out of her cubicle.

“Are you throwing me out?” he asked, feeling amused at how cute she was being but also bewildered that she had just turned him down. He genuinely felt that there was a connection between them.

“Not really but I have some coding to do and I need to get back to it! Goodbye Oliver!”

Oliver walked himself out of the IT department feeling a little dazed. For the first time in his life he had been turned down. And to make matters worse by the only girl who had ever completely and utterly dazzled him. There was just something about her.

***

“Ollie got any time to go have lunch with me today?” Laurel strutted into his office. Jeanine was obviously away from her desk. Not that it ever stopped Laurel from storming in and complaining that Jeanine was rude to her. Oliver could feel his face contorting as he willed himself to iron out his features. He loved her once, or at least he thought he did. There was no need to look at her like he found her extremely unpleasant. Even if he sort of did. She often got on his nerves these days. 

If he had to run through his sordid history with Laurel and be completely fair and above board about it, yes he could see the role he had played in contributing to Laurel’s relentless and persistent pursuit of him. But he was younger back then and very much the playboy Ollie who rarely stopped to think about consequences. Laurel was the safe and sensible girlfriend to keep around. She was intelligent, ambitious and on her way to having a very respectable career as a lawyer. She was also someone who tolerated his cheating and would always take him back when he needed to parade her in front of his parents as evidence that he was trying to settle down whenever he incurred their wrath over the latest scandal he was embroiled in. 

Which led him to his predicament of today. He was now more than willing to stop partying and work hard even if he disliked his role at QC and found it mind numbing, but Laurel still floated around relentlessly like the ghost of girlfriend past, waiting for them to reconcile once again. From where she was standing they had been on and off a good dozen times in between his flings. Why should it be any different this time?

He avoided looking at her face as he answered her. Laurel, he had come to realize was always extremely sour looking, perpetually disgruntled at the world. It wasn’t something he wanted to deal with or a sight he wanted to see before he went in to face the board. “Sorry Laurel, can’t make lunch today. I have a board presentation right after lunch so I’m going through my slides.”

Laurel let out a disagreeable little laugh. “Oh Ollie, it’s so cute to see you playing VP like this. Good on Robert for finally giving you this role so you can have the air of authority when it's time for you to take over later.”

Oliver could feel his temper rising but he resisted the urge to say something back. Had she always been this unpleasant and why hadn’t he notice it until recently? Her dourness and snide superiority used to just roll off him in his youth. In their younger years Tommy, Sara, Laurel and Oliver had been inseparable. He still found himself enjoying Tommy and Sara’s company for the most part but when had Laurel become so sour? Probably after he cheated on her with Sara. That one was on him.

“Bye Laurel. Talk to you when I have time.” He looked up and forced what he hoped was a civil looking smile on his face. To his relief Laurel merely scowled at him and ordered him to ring her later before flouncing out of his office.

***

Oliver took a few deep breaths to steady himself before he looked out at the sea of judgmental, expectant faces waiting for him to deliver his presentation. He shuffled his notes and was completely taken back when he lifted his head and spotted Felicity, looking bright and cheerful like the little ray of sunshine that she was. She peered at him from the glass panel just behind where the audience was seated, with what he could only describe as the most glorious smile on her face, sweet and encouraging. He let out a small chuckle when she gave him two thumbs up and an enthusiastic wave before sneaking off.

He looked at the members of the board seated in the audience, gave them a confident nod and began his presentation. Felicity Smoak had a way of making him feel invincible.

*** 

“And so I went and gave him this cheesy smile and two thumbs up Ray! TWO thumbs up!” Felicity was laying on the couch in Ray’s office as she regaled her latest adventures (or rather misadventures) with Oliver Queen. Her regret from turning him down was starting to kick in and today in a moment of sheer madness; Felicity had taken herself up to the boardroom to catch a glimpse of him before his presentation. 

“Two thumbs up sounds like something I would do,” Ray laughed at his friend who had been venting to him for the past week about her failed meet cute with Oliver Queen. 

“I’ve been hanging around you for too long,” Felicity wailed, closing her eyes, wishing in vain that she had said yes when Oliver asked her out.

“Hey I’m not the one who said no,” Ray retorted. “You said he smiled back at you right? Why don’t you just go find him and tell him you take it back.”

“Take what back?”

“Take the no back. Tell him you’ve taken your no back and you’ll go out with him now.”

Felicity shot Ray a disgruntled look. “That is such a YOU thing to say. And a YOU thing to do.”

“Don’t you have anyone better to seek advice from besides me if you’re going to keep rejecting my suggestions? One of your girl friends or something?” Ray pulled a chair up next to her, opened a Pyrex container and started munching on apple slices happily. He waved a slice in front of Felicity’s face but promptly pulled it back when she wrinkled her nose at him. God forbid that girl ate anything that wasn’t pure carbohydrates, sugar or fried.

“My girlfriends are interfering. And I don’t want anything done or fixed. I just need to vent. That leaves you as the best candidate because you’re not interfering.”

Ray chewed on another slice of apple and looked thoughtful. “Nope don’t see myself ambushing Oliver Queen at Queens Consolidated to ask him out for you.” 

“Ray Palmer, CEO of Palmer Technologies, matchmaker on the side,” Felicity laughed. She hauled herself off his very comfortable couch and grabbed her handbag. “I should go. I need to get some work done today to make up for visiting you and unburdening about my failed attempt at a love life.”

“Why don’t you just hover around and accidentally run into him again and again until he asks you out.” Ray looked like he actually thought this was a viable and helpful idea.

“Because I refused him on the basis that it would look bad for my career and now you’re suggesting that I stalk the man! So not cool!” 

Seeing Ray look slightly hurt at her dismissal of his idea, Felicity gave him a pat and an apologetic smile. “Sorry Ray I’m being a cow. I just need to let it go. That ship has sailed. Oliver Queen, gorgeous hot hunk, bad boy Disney Prince…”

“I thought you said I looked like the Disney Prince?”

“You’re the cheesy good one. He’s the mysterious one with the dark past,” Felicity waved him off and tried to continue only to be interrupted again. 

“Isn’t that usually the scoundrel? Like Aladdin? Because Aladdin is not a real prince. You’re confusing your Disney movies.” Ray was a stickler for the correct facts but she was too caught up in her rant to mentally catalogue Disney movies and argue with him right now. 

“Fine, Hot Outlaw then,” Felicity huffed in annoyance.

“That’s just a fancy way of saying he’s a criminal. Oliver Queen doesn’t look like a criminal. I mean he has a bad reputation with the ladies and a wild youth but I don’t think he was a criminal. Maybe a knight? Actually scratch that I want to be the knight. Sir Raymond of the Palms. Let Oliver be the Disney Prince. I take back my protest.” 

“Ray!!!!” Felicity squawked at him. “You’ve sidetracked me and made my lose my point!”

“Something about ships sailing,” Ray reminded her helpfully. 

“Yes! That ship has sailed. I am going to go on with my life and I will get over this. It’s not like it was going to turn into the ultimate love story of all time or anything.” 

She gave Ray a dignified little nod as if to prove her point and headed towards the door. “I’m going now! DON’T let me talk about this when I see you for dinner on Friday.”

“I still think you should stalk him and act all cutesy until he asks you out again,” Ray called after her.

*** 

“Why the long face Ollie?” Sara asked as she plonked down on the seat beside Oliver at the restaurant bar where he was morosely drinking his whisky as he stared moodily at a table on the far end of the restaurant. Sara peered at the table curiously to see a pretty blonde girl in glasses, talking animatedly to Ray Palmer, arguably Starling City’s most eligible bachelor (Ollie was number two given his reputation as a ladies man. Ray Palmer from what Sara knew was a squeaky clean golden boy). The two appeared to be in deep conversation, with each person waving their arms around and gesticulating wildly. From Sara’s vantage point it looked like they were hyping each other up more and more as the conversation continued.

“Ollie asked out hot nerd over there and she turned him down,” Tommy interjected from Oliver’s right. “Now he’s just discovered that she’s turned him down because she’s got a better offer in Palmer and he’s sulking. We could have been seated as soon as we got here but he’s decided to hide at the bar and stare at them for the past hour.”

Oliver ignored Tommy’s comment and continued to watch Felicity, as she shook her head and rolled her eyes playfully at something Ray Palmer was saying. There was a familiarity there. This wasn’t just some awkward first date; they were far too comfortable with each other for this to be a new relationship. How did a guy like Palmer know Felicity anyway? Oliver scowled at his drink. He knew the answer to that. They ran in the same circles. Just like he ran with Tommy and the other trust fund babies, Felicity and Palmer probably ran in some circle for cheerful geniuses.

“If it makes you feel better Ollie, they’re not dating.”

He perked up at Sara’s statement. Tommy had spent the last hour outlining the reasons why he and Felicity were not suited for each other and how girls like her belonged with guys like Palmer while Oliver should really look at getting a trophy wife he could trade up one day or run back to Laurel again because she was tolerant of his roving eye. 

“What makes you think that?” he mumbled cautiously, a tiny ray of hope starting to blossom.

“Because he’s just given her some dessert which he cut off with clean cutlery and put on her plate. If they were a couple they would eat off the same plate or he’d be feeding her off his fork,” Sara explained. She was now also completely engrossed in watching the table.

Together Oliver, Sara and Tommy were quite a sight as they all peered curiously at Felicity and Ray, while Sara provided them with helpful narration as to why the dinner they were witnessing was not a date.

“Look, she’s just paid for dinner,” Sara squealed, excited at the prospect that she may right and Ollie would finally be appeased enough to let them eat. “I don’t think a billionaire would let his date pay for dinner.”

“Maybe Palmer is just cheap,” Oliver snapped. “Or maybe Felicity is a modern woman? She seems like the type that wouldn’t want a guy to pay for her all the time. That proves nothing.” 

“Shh but this does.” Sara nudged him sharply, urging him to resume his focus. Felicity having picked up the cheque was now pulling out a bag from under the table and engaging in what appeared to be a DVD swap with Palmer. As they finalized their DVDs, Palmer gathered his pile, gave Felicity a hug (it looked like a friendly hug if he was to be objective but it still stung Oliver a little) and proceeded to leave the restaurant while Felicity stayed behind and pulled out her laptop, taking small sips of her red wine. She looked perfectly happy.

Sara was right. No couple engaged in a DVD swap and had one partner leave the restaurant while the other stayed behind. If Oliver was on a date with Felicity, they’d be heading home to watch DVDs together or if he had his way engaging in other activities. Palmer was in Felicity’s orbit and there was something about the friendship that made him uncomfortable but as long as he wasn’t the boyfriend there was still hope for Oliver. Oliver found himself perking up a bit as a small smile formed on his lips. 

“All this proves is that your hot nerd friend zones billionaires. Girl turned you down once and it looks like she’s friend zoned Palmer. Not a good sign for you Ollie. Let it go and find someone else. She’s not your type anyway.” Tommy shrugged, wondering when they were going to be allowed to eat.

“I think you should go for it Ollie. You’ve been through just about every type and you haven’t found the one so who knows. Maybe she’s got what you’ve never found before.”

“I think I’m sure of that already,” Oliver smiled, recalling the two thumbs up and soul-nurturing smile Felicity had given him the day of his presentation. She believed in him. She didn’t know him at all, except perhaps from the sordid stories about his youth, which had been regularly printed all over the gossip section of the Starling Daily, yet she was kind, encouraging and had this unwavering belief in him. Felicity was definitely what he had unknowingly been looking for all his life. The question remained what could someone like him bring into her life. 

***

“Felicity,” Oliver tapped Felicity on the shoulder gently as she sat, engrossed in her laptop, typing away furiously frowning at the red gibberish writing before her. “Felicity,” he said again this time a little louder. 

She looked up, her frown ironing out into a lovely smile as her eyes settled on his face. “Oliver, what are you doing here?”

“I was supposed to have dinner with some friends but I saw you here by yourself so I thought maybe you’d like some company.” He looked longingly at the chair across from her, seeking her permission to sit down.

She laughed, closed her laptop and got up. Before he knew what was happening she pulled the chair out for him. He stumbled onto the chair not sure what to make of the situation. Part of him was thrilled she wanted his company, the other a bit wary that she had gallantly pulled out a chair for him, after she paid for Palmer’s dinner. Felicity was oddly chivalrous. Was he on his way to being friend zoned too?

Felicity ignored his perplexed look and smiled, “I had dinner with a friend tonight but decided to stay behind to finish off some code. I thought maybe a public venue with witnesses would curb my frustration and temper if the code fails to work the way I want it to.”

“Do you need to work? Don’t let me stop you. I’ll order dinner and keep you company while you work.” He reached over to give her hand a pat. It was so warm and smooth. His touch lingered. She glanced briefly at their hands and then back at him but didn’t pull away. 

“Sure,” she beamed at him, slowly and reluctantly (he wanted to think so anyway) pulling her hand away, moving it back to her laptop. “You don’t look like you’ll be a backseat coder. Ray is a backseat coder even though he hasn’t coded in years. Drives me insane so I have to send him away.” 

Oliver resisted the urge to ask more about this ‘Ray’, knowing full well Felicity was talking about Palmer. In fact he was dying to know exactly the nature of her friendship with Palmer, how they became friends and basically every single detail about that friendship. However he was also well aware that he was here tonight to try and convince her to give him a chance, not to launch an inquisition on Palmer. 

***

“This is so good, you have to try this,” Oliver waved a ravioli smothered in cream sauce in front of her nose. Felicity had been coding, her eyes moving seamlessly between her screen and his face as she chatted to him happily. She was also a genius at multitasking it seemed. 

Felicity looked at the ravioli on his fork longingly but hesitantly.

“Try it,” he urged her with a smile as he moved the pasta towards her lips.

She took bite and beamed at him. “Mmm that is delicious! I had the truffled Veal Milanese but I was hankering for this as well.” 

“You work, I’ll feed you.” He pulled his chair closer to her and gave her shoulder a squeeze, leaving his hand there for way longer than he should.

Felicity leaned her head slightly on his hand and smiled. “Can’t say no to ravioli.” 

***

“Felicity.” He loved saying her name. It was the perfect name for her. They were outside her front door, Oliver having insisted that she let him take her home and walk her to her door. To his delight Felicity had not driven her car out that night.

“Oliver.” She said his name in a playful way, with a hint of flirtation and desire in her voice. The smile on her face was not her usual sweet smile; it was a little saucy, a little impudent, daring him to make his move.

“You don’t know how badly I want to kiss you right now Felicity but you’re not just another girl and this was not a real first date. So may I show up tomorrow night and take you out on a real date?” 

“I’d like that very much.” She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a chaste peck on the lips before running into the house.

*** 

“Ollie why does your floor look like my classroom did during craft time when I was six?” Thea asked as she seated herself cross-legged next to him on the floor, which was strewn with bright coloured plastic beads. Oliver didn’t look up to acknowledge her. He was focused on threading bead after bead onto a thick piece of string. 

It crossed Thea’s mind that maybe he was high again but he had been so different in the last year, so much more focused and he went out a lot less. She noticed this because he was always available whenever she needed a ride home from a friend’s place or wanted to make him watch a movie with her.

“Be with you in a second Speedy. I’m almost there. Finally found a colour scheme I’m happy with.” He threaded through the last two beads and counted them carefully before knotting off the end.

“Seriously Ollie, you’re scaring me here. What’s with the impromptu arts and craft?”

He looked up and smiled, almost shyly. Thea gaped at him. Blushing, Ollie was blushing. What the hell was this about?

“I met a girl.”

Thea let out a groan and rolled her eyes. “Ollie you don’t need to give girls jewellery to land them. You’re Oliver Queen. And what on earth is with that hideous plastic thing? How are you planning to win anyone over with that? Want me to take you to Tiffany’s instead?” 

“She’s not just any girl Speedy. She’s different. I think she’ll like plastic beads just fine. It’s the labor that counts and you do not know how hard it is the thread these damn things with my big hands. Tiffany’s will drive her away.”

It was like her brother had been shot with Cupid’s arrow. Thea never thought she’d live to see the day when Ollie would sit around and plot to give a girl a cheap home made plastic bracelet. His dream girl too apparently. 

“Ohh can I meet her?” she asked. Whoever had managed to make her brother sit around on a Saturday to thread beads warranted a meeting and thorough vetting. Clearly this girl had Ollie wrapped around her pinky. 

“We’ll see about that. The date has to go well and she’s got to agree to commit to me first.” Oliver carefully placed the bracelet into a plush red velvet jewellery box and closed the lid.

Thea was not eating or drinking anything but she felt herself choking on her own saliva anyway. Because Ollie, Ollie who used to chase anything in a skirt was apparently trying to get some girl to commit to him.

“Ollie how many dates have you been on with this girl?” she asked suspiciously. 

“Technically this would be the first,” Oliver responded cheerfully. “Don’t look so stunned Thea. I’m just hoping she’ll agree to be my girlfriend. I’m not proposing yet.” 

He was bringing up proposals. Thea did not quite know how to respond to that so she kept quiet. This was going to be interesting.

*** 

Oliver adjusted his tie, took a few deep breaths and knocked on Felicity’s door.

“Felicity, hi,” he smiled nervously when she opened the door to greet him. She looked incredible in a figure hugging red dress that showed off her flawless curves. Her hair was down, the ends curling softly, framing her face, which was sans glasses tonight. “Can I come in?” 

“Sure,” she responded stepping aside to let him in. There was a touch of trepidation of her face, which lifted his spirits a little. She was just as nervous as he was. 

“These are for you.” He thrust the small fern and jewellery box into her arms, praying that he hadn’t got any dirt from the little pot plant on her dress. “It’s a fern. I thought you might like it to decorate your desk down in the dungeon. It’s easy to take care of.”

“Oliver,” Felicity beamed at the fern, looking extremely pleased. “That’s really sweet of you. I love the fern but I think jewellery is a bit much on a first date don’t you? Maybe you should keep it and see how we go down the track?”

He knew it! He had suspected this would be her reaction. Oliver internally fist pumped at his success in reading Felicity Smoak. He might not be a genius like her or Palmer but if anything, this showed that he did understand her on some level.

“Open it. Please. Maybe you’ll change your mind when you see it,” he urged. 

Felicity set the fern down on her coffee table. “I doubt it but since you insist I’ll open it.” 

She flipped open the lid of the jewellery box and let out a delighted little laugh once she spotted the bracelet, her eyes shining as she examined it. 

“I don’t usually accept jewels on a first date but I will make an exception for this exquisite piece,” she beamed at him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was looong wasn't it?
> 
> In case anyone is panicking I thought I would add that there will be NO love triangle with Ray. 
> 
> I hope I have successfully conveyed that Ray and Felicity are just very good friends. If I haven't.........hehe well I just suck as a writer =P
> 
> As you may have suspected by now I am a Ray fan and ADORE Ray Palmer so for the first time in fan fic he shall be given a very nice life by me! He won't be with Felicity but he will get a lovely life nevertheless! Hehe you guys don't care about him anyway so I'll spoil that bit!


	5. 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halloo!
> 
> Your weekly update! Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> I'm having a lot of trouble with AO3!

“Mommy if I forgive you and you forgive me, can we be friends again?” Jonas emerged from his room, looking sheepish and eager to put the events that had taken place 30 minutes ago behind him. He had been sent there by Oliver to calm down after a bedtime tantrum.

Felicity, keen to dive into all aspects of Jonas’s life and immerse herself in everything she had missed out on over the last four years had told Oliver that she wanted to complete Jonas’s bed and bathtime routine without any assistance from him. What appeared to be a flawless routine that she had witnessed Oliver undertake more times than she could recall promptly fell apart for her. Jonas who had ridden the highs of having Mommy back now felt plenty comfortable with Felicity. Comfortable enough to indulge in a preschooler meltdown after a very full day at Starling Zoo, which left him tired and grouchy. Mommy was no longer the mythical figure he pined after and missed. She was real and she lacked the sharp, well-honed child handling skills of daddy. It was too good of an opportunity for Jonas to pass up.

Bath and bedtime promptly descended into chaos with Jonas issuing a series of demands, negotiations and traps, which Felicity fell headfirst into when she participated in that first negotiation. The result was a yelling preschooler who screamed at her that they were not friends while simultaneously demanding kisses and cuddles at the same time. Felicity obliged with numerous kisses and cuddles however the yelling did not subside until Oliver stepped in and firmly sent Jonas to his room with the instruction that until he stopped yelling and calmed himself down there would be no more kiss and cuddles.

Felicity who had been puzzled and a little distraught, was assured by Oliver that it would all work out in the end. True to his word, ten minutes later Jonas emerged, sheepish and repentant, offering his mommy an olive branch.

Felicity scooped Jonas up and was about to reassure him that of course they were friends when Oliver quickly spoke. “Jonas do you think Mommy has done anything that needs forgiving? Or are you the only person that needs to apologise to Mommy for your tantrum?”

“I’m sorry I threw a tantrum at you about bathtime Mommy,” Jonas apologized earnestly, earning himself the kiss and cuddle he had been yelling about.

“Can I have three stories instead of two Mommy?” He may have apologized and made peace but that didn’t mean Jonas wasn’t going to try to skew things to his advantage.

“Two books as usual,” Oliver stated firmly. “If you feel that you'll have trouble regulating your emotions while Mommy puts you to bed, I will put you to bed myself Jonas.”

“Oh…I wanted two books. I just got confused and asked for three,” Jonas backtracked right away.

Felicity smiled at Oliver and reached out to grab his hand. Over the last few weeks she had felt a frenzied mix of emotions toward this man. He was attractive, intense and loved her with a passion that was all consuming. Yet to see him calmly and expertly parent their child ignited a warmth and sense of security within her. She was going to be ok with all of this because he had it under control.

***

“Congratulations you made it through your first bedtime routine,” Oliver smiled as Felicity walked back into the living room, having exited Jonas’s room with no further dramas.

Felicity sank down onto the couch into Oliver’s waiting arms and rested her head against his chest. They still hadn’t gone on that official date yet but had spent countless nights in on the couch like this after Jonas was in bed. Felicity found herself smiling into Oliver’s chest. They were straddling some peculiar line between being shy and trying to get to know each other again while acting extremely old and married at the same time. They had not exchanged a single kiss yet spent most nights draped all over each other. It was a strange state to be in and Felicity wondered if Oliver was waiting for her to take the lead and show him she was ready.

“You make it look so easy,” Felicity sighed as he wrapped his arms around her. “Should I take it as a good sign or a bad sign that Jonas is acting up around me?”

“Good sign,” Oliver responded with a hint of amusement in his voice. “He tries the same stuff with me but we’ve had a good number of years for him to finally learn what behavior won’t fly so he’s not as persistent with me. He knows when to call it quits. You’ve gone past that honeymoon phase of Mythical Mother. You’re just Mortal Mother now so he’s going to push his boundaries and see what he can get away with.”

“I’m going to need you to sit down and give me a presentation on preschooler rearing 101,” Felicity mumbled sounding as weary as her poor feet felt. It had been a long day on foot at the zoo. Preschoolers had endless energy and being a parent was an all day job until they were tucked in bed at night.

“Oh you’ll work out your own tricks along the way. Only thing I can tell you is to stick to this basic rule. Never negotiate or sound like you’re willing to negotiate on things like sleep, safety and hygiene. Anything else you can give him choices so he feels like he has some level of control over his life. If you fluff around and try to negotiate on what shouldn’t be negotiable like bedtime, it will just end badly.”

“I was smart to marry you,” Felicity teased. “You’ve got it all under control.”

“Oh I’ve made my share of mistakes,” Oliver admitted, that sad haunted look taking over his face again. “I haven’t always been this guy you know. I made a lot of mistakes about us in the past. After you vanished I found myself alone with all this regret. Regret for the time that we lost because of my insecurities, regretting all the things I said to you, wondering if you remembered them in your last moments, wondering if you still believed and knew I loved you. Sometimes in my darkest moments I’d suspect you of leaving us and then beat myself up internally for even thinking it because in your last message to me you told me you loved me and it was that kind of thinking that almost destroyed us in the first place.”

Felicity propped herself up on his chest and gently touched his face. “But you channeled all that sadness into raising our son. And he is the most well adjusted, well cared for little boy despite my disappearance. You need to cut yourself some slack.”

Oliver pulled her closer to him so that she was practically on his lap. They had virtually no boundaries between them despite not hitting any milestones of a dating couple.

“You know what Oliver?” Felicity asked softly. “I don’t remember any of it and they tell me that I never will. I’m very drawn to the person that you are right now so maybe it’s time you forgive yourself and forget the past just like I have no recollection of it.”

“Do you want to know what happened?” Oliver asked her. There was trepidation in his eyes. He clearly felt like he owed it to her to tell her, yet she could see in his eyes there were things he didn’t want to relive.

“Only in the sense that I’m nosey and hate mysteries.” She pressed her forehead against his, their noses almost touching. “I won’t deny that I’m curious about our past. But I only want to know about it if and when you feel like you’re ready to surrender that information to me. You waited for me for four years, raised our son alone and you’re still in love with me. That’s enough for me.”

Felicity snuggled into his chest and Oliver felt his heart soar at her words. He didn’t deserve it but the universe had given him a second chance, had given Felicity back to him and this time he was going to be worthy of her. This time things would be different and he was going to cherish every moment together. He wasn’t going to lose her again.

Feeling like he had waited a lifetime to kiss Felicity and that tonight might just be the moment, Oliver gently ran a finger down her back, hoping to elicit that glorious little involuntary gasp she would make whenever he touched her in certain places. To his amusement there was no gasp this time, only a steady rhythmic breathing as Felicity was now fast asleep on his chest. He should have known, she always crashed like Jonas did after a big day out.

Shifting his position slightly he picked up a sleeping Felicity neatly in his arms and carried her into his bedroom. This wasn’t the first time she had fallen asleep on his chest.

Their life over the last few weeks had involved Felicity rushing home from work to try and help with juggling Jonas and dinner (she was more successful with Jonas than dinner. Some things never change including her ineptness in the kitchen). By the time dinner was finished, Felicity would stick around to give Jonas his goodnight kiss. She had made a few attempts to drive home, however by the end of the first week of their new routine she moved half her wardrobe into the apartment and was regularly falling asleep on the couch after Jonas went to bed. Child rearing took some getting used to for Felicity, Oliver thought fondly. He had moved her to the spare bedroom the first few times, however one night feeling bold, he carried her to his bed and there she stayed when she woke up the next morning, blushing delightfully when she realized she had been sleeping in his arms most of the night but promptly rolled back into them until Jonas issued his 7.30am wake up call.

Oliver walked into his bedroom with Felicity in his arms and tucked her under the covers before crawling in next to her. They really needed to find time alone for a date. He had been endlessly patient, putting Jonas’s needs before his but now that Jonas had well and truly adjusted to having his mommy back, it was time for Oliver to consider his own needs and steal a bit of Felicity for himself.

***

Thea Queen was not easily rattled. She was her mother’s daughter through and through and there was a very good reason why people called her “Mini Moira”. Yet nothing could have prepared her for her encounter with Felicity. So this was the woman that Ollie had been sneaking around with for the past month, the woman whom Jonas was obsessed with and insisted on calling Mommy.

Thea had spent the last four years worrying about her brother. He was a devoted father and to those who did not know him well, it looked like he had pieced his life together after Felicity’s disappearance. Oliver even managed to carve out a decent professional life, running for Mayor with Walter and Thea’s backing and encouragement (nothing reeled in those votes like a tragic handsome billionaire widower). However Thea continued to worry as she watched her brother lock his heart away, unable to even contemplate the idea of moving on from Felicity. She had been ecstatic when she heard that he started dating again, a mystery woman who was reported to look very similar to Felicity. Thea’s happiness turned into mild concern when her nephew started referring to this woman as Mommy and she seemed to have made herself a fixture in their lives.

Thea had assumed Oliver was moving into the next phase of his grief, finally accepting that Felicity wasn’t coming back and seeking solace in a Felicity look alike. She had carefully tried to craft out tactful ways of warning him about the impact this could have on Jonas but had held her tongue because her brother had devoted four years of his life to that little boy and who was Thea to waltz in and chastise him if he was trying to find that tiny patch of happiness for himself.

She was in no way prepared to come face to face with a woman identical to Felicity in every way. So this was how her brother had managed to move on.

Felicity Smoak, Felicity Michaels. They had to be the same person. No two people could humanly look identical like that and also have the same voice, mannerisms and even interests.

Yet this Felicity had absolutely no recollection of her. That part Thea believed was genuine. Thea studied her interactions and expressions intently and found nothing to suggest that Felicity was lying or pretending. She really had no memory of who any of them were, however it was plain that Felicity loved Jonas and would do anything for him. All of this was evident in the way she looked at Thea’s nephew and interacted with him.

Then there was the matter of her relationship with Oliver. On one hand Thea believed that Felicity had never met Oliver before. There was a shyness and tentativeness in their interactions with each other despite their domestic familiarity. The only thing that struck Thea as being familiar about these two was their chronic case of heart eyes for each other in the brief time she had seen them together. She did not think Oliver was capable of looking at any other woman with that expression.

“Ollie she is identical to Felicity in every single way. Even her ass Ollie! Everything about her is identical. I can’t explain why she doesn’t remember us but you surely can’t expect everyone to believe that she’s not Felicity back after 4 years? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“Speedy she has a completely different life, went to a different college, grew up in a different city. I know the resemblance is uncanny but…” Oliver hesitated. Maybe going along with this story was a bad idea. Still he didn’t expect anyone to grill him as much as Thea and certainly no one else in his life had the right to interrogate him the way his little sister did so all he had to do was make it through this cross examination, get her on board and he would be ok.

Things had gone surprisingly well for Felicity who had no memory of anything anyway so was able to sell her side of the story very convincingly. Jonas had the benefit of throwing a tantrum when the line of questioning didn’t suit him. Even Thea did not dare to challenge him on Felicity being his mommy.

“Don’t bother talking about resemblance Ollie. Look at the giant picture of Felicity on your wall over there! It looks like she just stepped out of it and back into your life.” Thea stared at the picture. The Felicity in the picture, the woman who had been her friend and sister in law was long gone, yet there was another version of her currently reading aloud to Jonas in his bedroom. Thea didn’t know how to react to this or what else to say. At the end of the day what were they all hoping to achieve? She really just wanted Ollie to be happy. Who cared about the semantics of how or why he was living in domestic bliss with Felicity, whoever this Felicity was.

“Speedy I can’t explain it. All I know is that fate sent her to us and I want to be happy again. I don’t want to mourn anymore, I want to start living and for the first time I feel like I’m alive again.”

Thea watched as her brother’s face lit up, his eyes shining as he looked down the hall at Jonas’s bedroom where Felicity’s voice could be heard.

“It’s not me you have to convince. I just don’t know how you’re going to explain it to Mom and Dad. You know what Mom’s like. Someone identical to Felicity waltzes in and has close access to Jonas. She is going to ask questions and want to keep him safe. If she’s not our Felicity then she’s not really his mother.”

“That’s why I need your help Speedy.” Oliver smiled at her, that cajoling smile he used to have whenever he had screwed something up in his youth and needed her to cover for him or cause a distraction. He had become far too serious, upstanding and broody over the years. It was nice to see that rat bag look in his eyes again. “I was thinking of taking Felicity to brunch next Sunday to introduce her to the family. I really need you to warn mom and dad and to smooth things over before they meet Felicity.”

“Ollie what makes you think I have any influence on Mom and Dad at all?” Thea sighed. She wanted to help Ollie and Felicity, who for all intents and purposes seemed like a sweet girl who genuinely loved Jonas and her brother. A pang of sadness hit Thea as she thought about the friend she lost. The resemblance was so striking given enough time, Thea felt like she was probably going to forget her Felicity as well.

“I just need you to warn them about the…erm…uncanny resemblance. Really prepare them for it.”

“Ollie NOTHING is going to prepare them for the fact that she looks identical to Felicity and Jonas runs around calling her mommy very comfortably.”

Seeing the pleading look in her brother’s eyes, Thea’s tone softened as she added, “I’ll try my best. Play the Ollie was so traumatised we should all shut up and accept whoever he dates and not fixate on her appearance card.”

“Thanks Speedy,” Oliver smiled at his sister in relief.

“It’s good to see you happy again Ollie. I know I gave you a hard time at first but if she can make you smile like that, it doesn’t matter who she is.”

 

***

“Laurel I think this is a bad idea,” Sara pleaded. “You aren’t exactly on the best terms with Ollie, what possible reason could you have to stop by Moira and Robert’s house?”

She had shown up on Laurel’s doorstep to take her sister out to brunch. Word got around that Ollie had found love again with a Felicity look alike. Whether this new relationship was permanent or not, it was an indication that Ollie had moved on or was trying to move on from his wife’s death, and he wasn’t moving on with Laurel. Far from it. Sara had come over thinking that her sister needed a little cheering up today only to find Laurel was on her way to crash the Queen family’s Sunday brunch.

“I haven’t seen them in a long time. I used to see them all the time when Ollie and I were dating. I’ll just say I wanted to visit them,” Laurel answered confidently with a determined look on her face. Ollie moving on was a positive development as far as Laurel was concerned. This new girlfriend might look like Felicity but she wasn’t Felicity. Felicity was gone and now that Ollie was dipping his toe into the dating pool again this was her chance. She had waited patiently for years, she would wait again until this relationship fizzled out and Ollie would realize that although he could date women who looked like Felicity Smoak, the Felicity Smoak that he loved was never coming back.

Laurel had long made peace with the fact that Felicity was the love of Ollie’s life. That didn’t bother her at all. Ollie was the love of Laurel’s life and she wanted to be with him. It didn’t matter if he didn’t love her like he did Felicity. Possession was nine tenths of the law.

“Laurel, Ollie is not going to be happy if he sees you there. He’s introducing this girl to his family so I think it’s kinda serious.” Sara was getting desperate now. She had spent the last four years persuading her sister to let go of Ollie to no avail. Sara knew she was treading on thin ice in relation to this matter. Her mistake of sleeping with Ollie when she was younger drove a wedge between them that had never fully recovered and Laurel, when provoked enough was prone to lash out at Sara.

“We’ve been friends since we were in our early teens. He’s not going to hold a grudge against me forever just because I said some well meaning things to Jonas,” Laurel brushed Sara off. Ollie was so sensitive about that precocious son of his. Sure the kid was good looking and purported to be clever but he was far too chatty and reminded Laurel entirely too much of his deceased mother who dazzled people for no good reason.

“I’m going now Sara. You stay and make yourself at home if you want. The fridge is well stocked. But I don’t want you trying to deter me anymore. You fooled around with Ollie once upon a time and ruined our relationship. The least you can do now is to support us finding each other again.”

Sara bit her tongue to stop herself from arguing with Laurel any further. She knew that once Laurel got a notion like this in her head, she would run head first into it. No amount of reasoning or advice could stop her sister. It would only serve to destroy their relationship further.

“Just don’t expect too much okay Laurel. I know I’ve hurt you in the past but I don’t to see you get hurt now.”

Laurel smiled at Sara, looking pleased that the latter was no longer trying to dissuade her from her plans. “I think there is a real chance for Ollie and I this time Sara. If he’s finally done mourning Felicity, he will be ready to accept me soon enough.”

Sara watched with a worried look on her face as Laurel sailed out of the door.

***

“Felicity where did you go to college dear?” Moira asked, her face perfectly composed despite conversing with the mirror image of her thought to be deceased daughter in law. Moira’s first reaction upon seeing Felicity had been to demand both her children explain themselves for the very distasteful trick they were playing on her. Then all of Moira’s conversations with Thea during the week came back to her. Thea had repeated at length for days and days about the likeness, not only in name, but also in appearance of Oliver’s new girlfriend. Fondly acknowledging to herself that her daughter was often prone to dramatics and exaggeration, Moira had calmly smiled and let her daughter have her say about the matter.

After years of worrying that Oliver was never going to recover from Felicity’s disappearance Moira had been thrilled to find out her son was dating again. The sudden development was such a relief she had not particularly cared who her son moved on with. She presumed he had found some lookalike to Felicity and while it wasn’t ideal, it was a step forward. Yet sitting down at the dining table with the face of her daughter in law smiling at her, Moira felt shaken for the first time in many years. There were not many things in this world that rattled Moira Queen. Still she clung onto her composure as best as she could, whilst trying to interrogate “Felicity”.

She and Robert had little to say to each other these days but Moira wondered what he would have to say about this when it was his turn to meet Felicity. Whilst Moira had been neutral towards Felicity Smoak who despite her softness and charm possessed a backbone of steel, one that Moira felt disadvantaged Oliver, Robert had been exceedingly fond of his daughter in law and in particular her brain power.

“I went to Caltech, worked in a few smaller companies before I decided to try working for a big corporation,” Felicity explained pleasantly while removing rind off Jonas’s bacon and discreetly watering down his juice.

Moira noticed that Felicity was plying her grandson with avocado and wilted spinach in between bites of bacon. Something about that warmed her heart. There was almost a sense of relief. Whoever this Felicity Michaels was and whatever the meaning of her uncanny resemblance to Felicity Smoak, it was plain that she loved Moira’s grandson as if he were her own child.

“Who do you work for dear? You should have applied with Queens Consolidated.”

“Palmer Technologies,” Felicity smiled, thinking Oliver’s mother had thawed significantly over the course of brunch. “Ray made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

Her relief was short-lived as she watched Moira stiffen slightly at the mention of Ray whilst shooting Oliver a concerned look. Felicity turned to catch Oliver’s expression. He was not as terse as he had been when he first found out she worked for Ray but there was something going on there. Something she did not understand.

Ray, from what she knew in her brief time working with him so far was a philanthropist, a caring boss and all round nice guy. He was also happily married with adorable identical twin daughters and a brilliant wife. There was nothing about him; save for his tendency to be overly enthusiastic that Felicity could see the Queen family take issue with. Perhaps it was a matter of business rivalry. Or something to do with her past self. Felicity made a mental note to tactfully ask Oliver about this later and also to do a little investigation on the nature of her relationship with Ray in the past to find out why the Queens were so sensitive about it.

Moira was about to ask Felicity another carefully crafted question when Jonas piped in before she could speak, tugging at Felicity’s dress and whispering loudly, “Mommy I need to poo! I’ve got the feeling! Can you come wait outside and check that my butt is clean after I’m done wiping?”

“Of course honey, do you know the way to the toilets here though?” Felicity kissed the top of his head absentmindedly. It didn’t matter what he said or did, Felicity had developed a habit of kissing him randomly whenever she was close to him.

“I’ll lead the way Mommy.” Jonas hopped off his chair and grabbed Felicity’s hand, leading her away from the dining table.

“She seems like a very nice girl Oliver. Very loving. But I’m going to be blunt with you and address the elephant in the room. She is identical to Felicity. I’m not sure how you expect me to believe that they are not the same person.”

Noting the concern on both her children’s faces and the look they exchanged with each other, Moira continued, “If it makes you feel better, this is the last time I will make a reference to it. I don’t know why or how she looks the way she does but for your sake and Jonas’s sake, I’m not going to make a big deal of her physical appearance.”

Moira felt she meant it too. To a certain degree. A few background checks to make sure Felicity Michaels wasn’t running some scam on her son and grandson would be in order but that was the extent to which Moira intended to investigate. She had always thought she loved her children beyond measure until Jonas came along. There was just something about that little boy. Moira was loathed to admit it as both Oliver and Thea had grown up to be successes in their own right but Jonas was everything she had hoped her children would be. For his sake Moira could overlook anything. If Jonas wanted Felicity Michaels as his mommy, Moira was going to do everything in her power to support it.

***

As Felicity and Jonas headed back to the dining room they heard voices at the front door.

“Nasty! It’s that nasty Laurel,” Jonas declared, stopping suddenly and stamping his foot.

“Who is Laurel sweetheart?” Felicity asked him calmly before getting down to his level. Jonas usually regulated his emotions extremely well for a child his age but he was still prone to the occasional passionate display of temper. Felicity stroked his arms and said in her most soothing voice, “I understand you may not like this Laurel person Jonas but do you think you should be calling her nasty? I don’t think Daddy would be happy about it, do you?”

Jonas shot Felicity a triumphant smile. “Daddy agrees with me that she’s nasty! He says I can call her nasty as much as I like. He told Mike to ban her from our building. She really is nasty Mommy. When I was a wee tuck, she told me that one day Daddy would send me to a nice boarding school far away so that I could learn to be a good boy. Nasty nasty!!! I cried and cried and Daddy agreed that she was a nasty woman and told her he wasn’t going to be friends with her anymore. Then she yelled at daddy and told him that you weren’t ever going to come back. Then daddy said she had too many grown up drinks and grown up drinks made her nasty and that he wasn’t going to be friends with her ever again. Daddy has a very angry face every time we run into Nasty Laurel. Even angrier than the time I drew all over his work shirts with an inky marker.”

Felicity bit back a smile and resisted asking for further details about the inky marker. That was a question for Oliver later. Instead she took Jonas’s hand and suggested they went back to the dining room to finish brunch. Oliver hadn’t mentioned this Laurel person at all. Not that she was surprised from everything Jonas had told her. It boggled her mind why anyone would suggest boarding school for Jonas to Oliver who was an incredibly involved and hands on parent.

“Mommy,” Jonas remained stationary and tugged at Felicity’s arm. “You won’t send me away to boarding school will you Mommy?”

“Of course not baby,” Felicity scooped him up into her arms and cuddled him tightly. “Mommy would NEVER send you to boarding school unless you really want to go. In that case Mommy would build a house right next door to the boarding school so Mommy can cuddle you every day. Is that alright with you?”

“Silly Mommy,” Jonas giggled. “Can you carry me back to the dining room?” He always sought to be carried or babied when he was feeling insecure about something. Laurel, or Nasty Laurel as Jonas had insisted on calling her had a lot to answer for.

Felicity steadied her grip on him and lugged him back to the dining room where she heard a loud clatter upon setting foot into the room. While she and Jonas were having their conversation in the hall, it appeared that Laurel had at some point joined the Queen family for brunch. Laurel had sent her plate crashing to the ground upon laying eyes on Felicity.

Laurel was a good-looking lady with an elegant slim figure and lovely long chestnut coloured hair. However her face was a deathly pale colour, even paler than Felicity’s own when she was ill and Felicity had extremely fair skin. Laurel looked like she had seen a ghost as she took two steps back and stared at Felicity with an expression that was a mix of shock, disbelief and horror. Like her world had come crashing down on her.

“Felicity.” Laurel said her name like the word physically caused her pain. Felicity was used to people’s reactions upon seeing her from Ray’s double take and quiet sadness, Thea’s shock to Moira’s dignified suppressed shock. But the way Laurel said her name suggested that she had single handedly ruined this woman’s life, which she obviously hadn’t since someone would have mentioned it to her.

“You must be Laurel,” Felicity smiled, trying to hide her intrigue as best as she could.

“Nasty Laurel,” Jonas whispered into her ear, still propped in her arms. He was determined Laurel should be addressed by her correct title.

Giving Jonas’s leg a firm squeeze, Felicity shifted him up higher so as to maintain a better grip and extended out one had to Laurel. “Felicity Michaels. Nice to meet you.”

She studied the other woman’s face carefully to see what her reaction was. There was something about the way she had reacted upon seeing Felicity that didn’t sit well with Felicity. Felicity felt Laurel was someone she should pay attention to.

You’re….you’re….” Laurel was at a loss for words and continued to stare at Felicity like she was stuck in a bad dream.

“Identical to Oliver’s wife?” Felicity did her best to channel what she hoped was a gentle smile. “I get that a lot.”

Felicity watched as Laurel tried to pull herself together. The whole room was watching Laurel who shrugged her shoulders and let out a casual laugh. “Sorry Felicity that was quite a shock. I’d heard rumours that Ollie’s new squeeze looked a lot like his ex wife but I didn’t realize how much alike. Takes some getting used to.” She brushed off her strange behavior, stepped over the broken plate and began to serve herself some more food. Except for the fact that her hands were shaking ever so slightly (thank you John for his endless tips on how to read people before sending her out into the big real world) Laurel had fully regained her composure.

“Felicity and Jonas, if you’ve both finished eating I’ll take you around the gardens. You haven’t seen them before Felicity; you’ll love the little playground Mom built for Jonas. Mom would you please excuse us?”

Oliver looked like he was eager to get away from Laurel as soon as possible. Everything about his body language seemed to be aimed at repelling Laurel. In channeling all her focus on Laurel, Felicity had not thought to observe Oliver’s reaction to the whole exchange but it appeared that Jonas was right. Oliver and Laurel were not friends.

***

Laurel gripped the steering wheel of her car and squeezed tightly until her knuckles were deathly white. Far off in the distance through her windscreen she could see them playing happy families, Ollie smiling that stupid smile he had whenever Felicity was in the vicinity. Laurel thought she would never have to see that smile again. Felicity Smoak, Felicity Michaels. My god how many of them were there? They kept springing up to lure Ollie and hypnotize him into a perpetual trance of heart eyes.

So this is what it all came down to. All that hard work, all those years waiting had been for naught. She didn’t need Ollie to love her the way he loved Felicity she just needed Ollie. She was going to get a drink, and then she was going to find a way to fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:
> 
> Next update: We visit Olicity in the past again and find out the first rumblings of their issues


	6. 2010

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys
> 
> Your weekly update! Again another long one but I wanted to get into how things started unravelling between them. I do hope I've done it justice! This kind of thing is not my forte but I'm trying and enjoying the learning process! 
> 
> hehe I hope I'm not boring you and you're not all thinking "OMG woman just tell us who did it and move the story along! End the ghastly flashbacks!"
> 
> Your next update will be in a fortnight's time. This is because I have a plot bunny for a quick 2 chapter short story that is beckoning me to write it! I hope you'll join me for it when it's done!

 

“Stay,” Oliver leapt across the bed and playfully grabbed Felicity’s hips, pulling her back onto the bed. He flipped her onto her back and hovered on top of her.

“I can’t,” Felicity laughed, writhing about as he tickled her tummy with his scruff. “I’ve cancelled the last three times already and friendships need nurturing so I cannot bail this time.”

“Do you really want to go have afternoon tea with Palmer in some stuffy joint when you can stay here all afternoon and have me sex you up? Who the hell has afternoon tea anyway? You’re not British and neither is he.”

Oliver’s tone was light but he had begun to feel increasingly uncomfortable with Felicity and Ray’s friendship. Rationally he knew he had nothing to be worried about and no right to be jealous. He still socialized with Sara and by association Laurel. In fact during the first few weeks of dating Felicity he had been mortified whenever they ran into an ex of his (of which there were many), Felicity had taken this all in her stride, greeting each and everyone of his past flings pleasantly and sometimes even leaving them every bit as dazzled with her as he was. 

For this reason he knew he should not have a problem with Palmer. Palmer was only Felicity’s good friend. They had never even dated. Which was precisely the problem. Oliver had gone over the scenario about a thousand times in order to work out why Palmer was not an ex. Why they had never pursued a relationship. People like Felicity and Ray Palmer, who shared the same sense of humor, had the same hobbies and cheerful disposition should be married with a troop of genius kids and living happily ever after. The fact that they had never explored this between them haunted Oliver. What if one day Felicity realized what had been right there all these years and decided Palmer was the one for her. She was still very young after all; given a few more years and a bit more time she could look at Palmer in an entirely different light. If they never had a romantic entanglement how did she know Ray wasn’t what she’d been looking for all her life?

On paper Palmer was everything Oliver wasn’t. He was literally a genius (with an IQ just below that of Felicity’s, the fact that they even had matching IQs was another sore point for Oliver), chirpy and a self made billionaire. Oliver relied entirely on his trust fund and had recently become painfully aware that he still lived at home. He was spending most of his nights at Felicity’s. His twenty one year old girlfriend had her life together and owned her own home. It was mortgaged but it was hers nevertheless.

“You do not know how badly I want to stay and have you sex me up Oliver but I promised I would not bail this time and to make it up to him I promised to buy him afternoon tea at this place with tiny food and pretty china cups.” Felicity’s voice roused Oliver from his thoughts. “Ray is a big fan of Medieval England and knights which somehow translates to High Tea. Don’t ask me to explain, you really don’t want to know the full details of Ray’s quirks but I do owe him for bailing so if he wants high tea, he can have high tea.”

“Promise you’ll come back tonight? I’ve been practicing those my soufflés and I think I’ve perfected them.”

Oliver was so careful not to crush her with his weight but she gave a little squeal and pulled him closer to her. “Oliver Queen is making me soufflés tonight. Are you really Oliver Queen or have I succumbed to an imposter’s charm all this time?”

“You make me do crazy things. I’ll cook you dinner as well if you promise not to eat too much when you’re out today,” he smiled at her. If Palmer was going to make Felicity buy him some stuffy finger food, he Oliver was going to cook her a hearty meal and see who would win this round.

“Oh don’t you worry about that. The food is teeny tiny and there isn’t much of it,” Felicity wriggled slightly under him and wrapped her legs around him, apparently forgetting that she was supposed to be out of bed and dressed to meet Palmer.

“I thought you were getting dressed to go?” Oliver gently grabbed her hands and pinned them on top of her head with no intention of letting her go.

“I can run a little bit late. Now keep your promise and sex me up.” She ground her hips into him while trying to give him what she thought was a come hither smile but really it was just adorable and made his heart burst in a thousand pleasurable ways. Felicity was everything to him. 

***

“How as high tea with Ray?” Oliver asked casually as he served Felicity a plate of shrimp scampi pasta. He had also made garlic bread and simple tossed salad on the side. Felicity didn’t care much for tossed salad but Oliver’s garlic bread and shrimp scampi was to die for. She tucked in happily while regaling her adventures.

“High tea was good. Food was tiny but I think Ray was appeased so I’m back in his good books for now. I have gossip for you.” Felicity took another bite of shrimp and finished her bite before continuing. 

“Mr. Queen met with Ray earlier this week. Joint project launching smart wearables. I’m to be on the team leading the software development for the new generation of smart watches. I’ll be working closely with Ray for a few months so he’ll get off my back about ditching him. And I get to lead a team of my own.” She clapped her hands gleefully before noticing Oliver’s tense face from across the table.

“Dad never told me you were going to be on this project,” he said a little snappishly, causing Felicity to flinch. In their short time dating they had not had a single disagreement and Oliver constantly looked at her like she was the light of his life. “I knew we were collaborating with Palmer but no one told me you were involved in this. Makes sense though now that I think about it. This is another one of those projects Dad wants to run himself so decided to leave me out of the loop.”

“I don’t think I’m a big fish in the scheme of things. I…I was just surprised to be included and allowed to lead a small team. I thought you would be happy for me.” She diverted her eyes away from his face and looked down at her plate, picking at the pasta absent-mindedly. She had been so excited. She knew Oliver wasn’t involved in this project and that her selection to lead her own team was an unbiased decision. Ray had promised her during tea that he had not asked for her to be involved or mentioned her at all. In fact very few people knew that they were even friends, let alone close friends. All her hard work had finally been recognized and yet she couldn’t share this moment with Oliver. He looked angry for some reason. 

“I’m so sorry Felicity.” She looked up to find Oliver kneeling beside her. “I…I don’t get along well with dad at the best of times. Clashing personalities and expectations. I’m just angry that once again I feel like his puppet. I’m just a prop in this role. He hands me the minor stuff to do and when it comes to projects like this he will meet with Palmer and take over. I don’t even know why I’m at QC sometimes.”

Felicity stood up from her chair and pulled him up. Oliver promptly sat on her chair and pulled her onto his lap. She buried her face in the crook of his neck for a few seconds before she spoke. “I believe you when you say you have unresolved issues with your father, we all do with our parents to some extent but is it just your dad Oliver? I didn’t want to make a thing of it but I notice sometimes you look a bit broody when I mention Ray. I’ve tried to brush it off because you’ve never said anything to me but I can’t help feeling like you don’t fully support my friendship with Ray.” 

“Ray? What you think I’m jealous of Ray?” Oliver scoffed, trying to make light of the suggestion. “Do I have any reason to be jealous about?”

“No you do not have any reason to be jealous of Ray or of my friendship with him which is why I haven’t addressed it until now but you seem so…so irritable sometimes when I talk about him. I try not to but he is my friend so inevitably things come up and I mention them, much like you mention your friends and ex girlfriends when there is cause to. Plus if I try to actively avoid talking about him altogether it feels like I have something to hide and I don’t.”

Oliver knew she had a point but there was no way he was going to admit to being insecure about Palmer. It would just add to the long list of black marks against him when compared to Palmer who was good natured, cheerful and unabashedly confident.

“I don’t have a problem with Palmer. I just miss you when you run off to spend time with him. I’m love you and anytime I spend away from you drives me insane.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. He did miss her when she was off having her traditional fortnightly dinner with Palmer. The minutes on his clock ticked by ever so slowly when he knew Felicity was at Palmer’s office or having lunch with him. Rationally he knew he should not feel like this. She spent every other waking moment away from work with him and a lot of her activities with Palmer also involved some of her girlfriends but he could not help feeling the jealousy gnawing inside him whenever he knew she was with Palmer. When was the moment that Felicity would inevitably decide she and Palmer were perfect for each other and leave him behind?

Felicity propped herself up and looked at him. He could tell from her worried expression that she knew he was lying. She knew he was dead jealous of Palmer. It was written all over his face. But being Felicity she could also see how desperate he was not to talk about it. Gently Felicity tilted his face and inched her lips closer to his. Her kiss was warm, soft and reassuring. It caressed him in the most loving way and soothed his rankled soul. In that moment it made him feel like he was truly the one for her. 

When the kiss ended she gazed at him for a few seconds with her soft blue eyes before she spoke. “I love you too and I know we’re very new at this but I hope that with time you’ll learn to trust me.”

He opened his mouth to declare that he did trust her but Felicity placed her finger on his lips. “You know you can talk to me about anything right? Ask me anything at all?”

She knew. She knew he wanted a full interrogation on her friendship with Ray but his pride wouldn’t allow it so he went around using his imagination to torment himself instead. And yet she wasn’t going to call him out for it. She just wanted him to know that she would be there to allay his fears. This was why he loved her so. 

He nodded and stole another kiss from her before changing the subject. “So is Ray going to program over your shoulder on this project?”

“I’m sure he will. I might get fired because I will most likely yell and throw something at the CEO of Palmer Technologies after a few days. Seriously Oliver, he hasn’t programmed in YEARS, not that he’s even good at it anyway, his specialty is hardware but he sits around and makes these suggestions that he THINKS is helpful. I don’t know if our friendship will survive this,” Felicity admitted gravely.   

And just like that they were on track again. In that moment with Felicity on his lap, eating the food that he cooked while telling him excitedly about her plans for the project, Oliver felt like he was going to be ok. He wasn’t a self-made billionaire and didn’t understand half the things she talked about but he was willing to listen to her and wanted to take care of her in his own way. 

***

“So what do you think of this one?” Oliver asked wrapping his arms around Felicity’s waist as she surveyed the walk in wardrobe with a dreamy look on her face. He had asked Jessica the sales agent to give them a moment. Jessica who could see that although Mr. Queen was stumping up the cash for the purchase, the decision and power ultimately rested with his cheerful blonde girlfriend, hastily made her retreat but only after giving them yet another spiel on the virtues of the penthouse apartment.

“This walk in wardrobe is as big as my spare bedroom,” Felicity sighed, still staring at the wardrobe, wondering where it had been all her life. “But it’s so much money! Are you sure I can’t contribute to the mortgage repayments? Since I’m moving in I’m going to be earning a heap of rental income from my place.”

“I wouldn’t dream of taking a penny from you. What kind of start is it for us if you’re going to be paying for your own board?” Seeing Felicity about to protest he added, “You take those rental payments and pay off that mortgage as fast as you can. One day it’ll make a nice nest egg for one of our kids.”

Felicity’s heart skipped a beat at his mention of kids. She knew Oliver was in love with her and she was it for him, that much was evident in the way he looked at her but they had only known each other for such a short amount of time and yet he was discussing children so freely. On one hand she was sure in her heart that Oliver was the one and only for her and was thrilled when he spoke of their future so openly. The other part of her felt like she was still so young. Much too young to be throwing around the idea of children as if they were going to happen in the immediate future. She liked to tell herself that Oliver was only referring to them conceptually and that he wasn’t really entertaining the idea of having children anytime soon.

“I like that there are four bedrooms. One for us, one for each of the kids and a nice computer room for you that we can convert into a bedroom if we have an accident after the second one.” He pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek as if he had just casually mentioned what they were having for dinner. Felicity wanted to say something but thought the better of it. He was so happy right now, she could practically feel the happiness radiate from him. She wanted kids with him one day; they could always talk about it later. There was no need to launch into a discussion now.

“I do think it’s a lovely place. Everything is just so perfectly constructed yet it feels…homey. And the views don’t hurt either.”

“You know what I love most about this place?” Oliver asked spinning her around to face him.

“The bedrooms for your half a dozen kids?” Felicity couldn’t help teasing him despite her earlier concerns about all his talk of children.

“That too but I love that big feature wall in the living room. We can decorate it with a picture of you as mistress of the house. A beautiful picture of my Felicity to greet everyone as they walk in.” He stroke her cheek gently as he said this, his eyes starry. Oh goodness he was serious. He really thought it was a good idea to have a picture of her as a feature wall.

“You cannot be serious about a picture of me being the first thing people see when they walk into our home?” Felicity shook her head incredulously.

“It’ll be tasteful I promise. Nothing too big.” He lifted her up and swung her around. “So can we sign the contracts for this place?”

“I think we’ll be very happy here,” Felicity sighed happily when he put her down on her feet again. 

***

“Got time for lunch Ollie?” Tommy breezed into Oliver’s office and made himself comfortable on the sofa. “You’ve bailed on us so many times I can’t keep track anymore so you can buy me lunch today.”

“Sorry Tommy, not a good time. We’ve just moved in, the place is still in shambles and I have to oversee the production of QC’s new battery. Got a meeting at the factory site today actually.” Oliver rattled off his excuses one by one, secretly feeling a bit thankful that he truthfully had so many tasks to keep him occupied. 

He had been avoiding his old friends of late. It wasn’t entirely their fault but Oliver felt he was always in a negative head space after seeing his friends. Tommy in particular often made comments and innuendos that irked him. The constant references to Palmer and Tommy’s endless speculation on Felicity and Palmer often left Oliver feeling high-strung and unreasonably jealous of Palmer by the time he left his friend’s company. For his own sanity and until he was able to work out his issues regarding Felicity and Palmer, Oliver had decided to avoid his friends.

Sara was a good egg and tried to keep the peace. Laurel who was always negative about everything surprisingly did not bother Oliver much but Tommy’s constant needling irritated him and he found himself avoiding his best friend whenever he could.

“Is she not letting you off the leash even for lunch these days?” Tommy asked with a smirk. Oliver suddenly wished he could slap that smirk off his friend’s face.

“Don’t be stupid Tommy, Felicity has nothing to do with this. She’s got her own project to work on. Why would you even say something like that?”

“Just sayin, I’ve run into her at Palmer Tech almost every day now so if Felicity is seeing her handsome billionaire friend everyday, why can’t you make time to see yours.”

Oliver took a deep breath and answered in what he hoped was a calm voice. “Felicity is on the joint project between QC and Palmer Tech. Dad put her on it especially and she’s writing the software so she has to collaborate with Palmer who is making the hardware. Why are you even bringing this up anyway Tommy? Since when were you Felicity’s keeper? Are you hanging around Palmer Tech spying on her? Because if that’s the case I think I should worry about you more than Palmer.” There was a distinctly snappish edge to Oliver’s tone. Tommy had managed to get on his nerves and he hadn’t even been in his office for 10 minutes yet. 

“I can’t help seeing her if Merlyn Global is across the road from Palmer Tech,” Tommy responded looking offended. He was only watching out for Ollie who had become a whipped pansy since he started dating Felicity Smoak. Tommy couldn’t understand it. Laurel who had spent years berating and trying to beat Ollie down verbally into submission had gotten nothing for her efforts whereas this seemingly harmless Felicity had managed to string Ollie up by the balls and make him think it was his idea too. Ollie was completely and utterly obsessed with her. Tommy had never seen his friend lose it over a girl like that before.

“How is your foray into working for a living?” Oliver asked, changing the subject. He did not like to discuss Felicity with Tommy and often felt at some point it was going to end up in blows if Tommy didn’t stop with the snide remarks about her. For now Oliver assumed they were just thoughtless but he couldn’t guarantee that one day he wasn’t going to lose his temper over such comments.

“Wouldn’t do it by choice but my old man is distracted and not that interested in me so I’m left to flirt with the pretty secretaries. Could be worse.”

 

“Well I actually have to work for a living now Tommy or the trust fund will be cut if I bomb so I’m going to head off to my next meeting. You’re welcome to stay but I can’t guarantee that Jeanine won’t chase you out.”

 

Jeanine had no use for Tommy and his comments about Felicity (Jeanine had the hearing of a bat and the only time she did not exploit it was when she discreetly left her desk whenever Felicity visited him. Anyone else she stayed and exercised her hearing super powers). Oliver put on his jacket and grabbed his briefcase. If he was lucky and everything went smoothly he intended to drop by Palmer Tech to make his presence known and take Felicity out to lunch at the same time.

“You used to be fun Ollie. Now you’re just a disappointment to the brotherhood,” Tommy shouted after him.

***

“Help me pick out a tie for my date tonight?” Ray asked holding up two ties that barely had any distinguishing features between them.

“They look the same. Dark grey with some sort of black pattern on them,” Felicity waved him off looking slightly disgruntled.

“Oh don’t be like that,” Ray responded in a placating tone, still examining his two ties and thinking that perhaps Felicity did have a point even if she was currently annoyed at him.

“Be like what?” Felicity asked, trying her best to resist the urge to roll her eyes at him. 

“Be all huffy just because I’m going to dinner with someone you don’t like. I’m not even dating her.”

“You shouldn’t be anywhere near her at all!” Felicity finally could not hold onto her neutral act any longer. “Ray her father tried to buy your stock on the sly and take over your company. Their business may as well be called Evil Incorporated because they are as shady as hell. I don’t know why you feel like you simply MUST date Eleanor Darhk. Are you trying to indulge in some fantasy of being punished by evil women or something?” 

Ray said nothing but simply have her a _look_ , which caused Felicity to wince instantly. She did not need _those_ mental images.

“Eww to much information! What I’m trying to say is I know you’re upset about your engagement to Anna ending but do you really need to date the daughter of the Darhk Lord?” Felicity gave a small chuckle at her pun before schooling her features when she saw that Ray was not amused.

“I find myself oddly attracted to her,” Ray confessed. “She’s…fascinating.”

“That’s what they all say. I think you’re going through something and lashing out which is why you’re all hung up about Mistress Evil. You know what, go have dinner with her and whatever else, get it out of your system, enjoy the sexy evil antics. Then you can recover and find a nice girl to settle down with.” 

Felicity knew Ray well and if there was one thing he desperately wanted it was to find THE ONE to marry and start a family with. The trouble with Ray was that he fell for almost every single attractive single woman he met (Felicity being the only exception having been his friend far too long and knowing his quirks far too well for either of them to ever see each other that way) without taking time to pause and really think whether the person in question was the right girl for him. Ray was never unfaithful, always very devoted to whoever it was he was in a relationship with, however as soon as that relationship ended (and they inevitably ended because he always just jumped headfirst into them) he would sail happily into the next one without taking a time out to think.

“And just where do I find this nice girl?” Ray asked eagerly, momentarily forgetting that he had a date with Eleanor Darhk tonight. 

“You need to sort yourself out with Eleanor Darhk before I’m letting you anywhere near my friend.” Felicity smiled at him maddeningly, knowing full well he had taken the bait and was now going to spend his date with Eleanor, thinking about who that perfect girl was. Ray was such a Ted Mosby sometimes.

“Can you pick out a tie for me please? You have such good taste,” Ray wheedled. Felicity was in a good mood again and he still wanted her opinion. She had certainly piqued his interest with this alleged perfect girl for him but meanwhile he still had a date that he wanted to look good for. “And can you knot my tie for me too? You make the best knots, mine are all loose and clumsy.” Ray looked at her beseechingly, summoning his best puppy dog eyes.

“Now you’re really pushing our friendship,” Felicity grumbled but ultimately selected a tie and began to knot it around Ray’s collar. “Making me help you get ready to date Damien Darhk’s Evil Princess. Just for the record again I don’t approve of this.”

She gave his tie a little yank to put extra emphasis on her disapproval about the entire thing. Ray grinned at her good-naturedly. Felicity was one of his best friends. She grumbled and grizzled but she always helped him in the end. Neither of them noticed Oliver standing a few feet away outside Ray’s office, his fists clenched as he watched the scene unfold before him. 

*** 

“Excuse me can I speak to Felicity please?” Oliver ground out, barely able to suppress his anger. They had not noticed him watching them and had been nattering away at each other excitedly, the same way they had done that first time he saw them at dinner together.

“Oliver! Did you come to surprise me?” Felicity turned and smiled at him, her smile dying on her lips when she noticed the dark storm on his face.

“Hi!” Ray chirped cheerfully, completely unaware that anything was amiss at all. “We really need to get together and have dinner, the three of us. Felicity barely dates and you’ve been her longest relationship since forever. It’s about time I finally got to hang out with her boyfriend since she’s been there for all my past relationships. I’ve had some rotten luck actually. I’m sure she’s filled you in on all of it since now that you’re dating she probably tells you everything. Not that I have anything to hide.” He was about to go on some more when Felicity kicked him lightly on the shin. Ray stopped abruptly and shot her a bewildered look. 

“I have something to discuss with Felicity so please excuse us Ray. She won’t be back for the rest of the afternoon.” Oliver grabbed Felicity’s hand and pulled her out of Ray’s office.

“Oliver what’s going on?” Felicity hurried after him, taking three small steps to every stride of his. “Oliver what’s gotten into you? What is this about?”

“I don’t think you want to get into this in Palmer’s building right now,” Oliver snapped, stopping abruptly, causing Felicity to lurch forward into him. He caught her by the waist and steadied her, his expression softening when he noticed the confusion and worry in her eyes. He had never acted like this before. In fact he had never felt like this before. Jealousy was a foreign feeling to him, something he had never experienced or thought he was capable of experiencing and now suddenly it was gnawing at him, eating away inside him over the past few months.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pulled you like that. Did I hurt you?”

“No but you’re kinda scaring me Oliver? What on earth is going on?” Felicity asked, placing a hand on his shoulder, her faced etched with worry.

“Can we please just get out of here and talk about this at home?” He pleaded.

“Oliver I’m in the middle of a work day. Why don’t we go and talk somewhere in a café. I can’t just skip off work for the rest of the day.”

“You weren’t working when you were flirting with Palmer.” And just like that the burning anger was back.

Felicity looked like she wanted to snap right back at him but suppressed her retort. So this was what it came down to. Her friendship with Ray. For a while now Felicity had gone along whenever Oliver vehemently denied that he had a problem with Ray, despite lapsing into a bad mood whenever he heard Ray’s name. His outburst today indicated that they could no longer pretend this wasn’t an issue between them, or at least an issue for Oliver. Things were very clear-cut where Felicity stood. Ray was just another friend much like Caitlin, Curtis, Barry or Cisco. She might be a bit closer to him than the others but their friendship was no different to that of Cisco and Caitlin who were the closer pair in the group.

“You’re right let’s go home and talk about this, and I mean really talk about this, this time since it’s obvious that it’s upsetting you. I don’t want to get into it until we get home but I just want to say I wasn’t flirting with Ray. Whatever it is that you think you saw, we are just good friends. He is one of my best friends but you have absolutely nothing to worry about.” She extracted her hand from his and walked to the lift, wrapping her arms around herself. Oliver watched her standing there, suddenly looking very young and very lost. He was going to ruin her. All that happiness and sunshine. She wasn’t equipped to deal with someone like him. 

***

They didn’t speak the whole way home. Felicity stared out of the window willing herself not to cry. It was all just a misunderstanding she told herself. They were going to talk about it and everything was going to be ok. He did love her so much and if she couldn’t make it with all that love and adoration he showered on her what chance did she have with anyone else. 

“I’m sorry,” Oliver finally said. They were sitting next to each on the couch, not touching each other for the first time. The little physical space between them on the couch felt like it was representative of the gulf between them emotionally right now. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper, I shouldn’t have acted like that.” 

“But you still think there is something going on between Ray and I?” Felicity said softly. “We should have talked about this earlier. I knew you were uncomfortable about Ray but you never wanted to talk about it and I was so happy with you it was more convenient for me to ignore it.”

“Do you love him?” Oliver blurted out. He wasn’t angry anymore and felt remorse for all his anger earlier but it suddenly felt like the floodgates had burst within him as all his insecurities about Felicity and Ray came tumbling out.

“Why have you guys never dated? I just don’t get it. You’re perfect for each other. You’re both geniuses, you watch the same boring sci fi shows, when you talk you sometimes use words that I don’t understand but I’m sure he understands you, he looks like a Disney Prince and you his plucky Disney Princess. I just don’t understand how someone like you and someone like him are only platonic friends. Do you really expect me to believe that you guys just have never felt that way about each other?” 

“Laurel and Sara are both gorgeous woman who have had a history with you and I don’t question your friendship with them,” Felicity finally answered quietly. Oliver simply could not believe that she and Ray did not feel that way about each other and judging by his tone and the look on his face, Felicity felt like nothing she said could convince him otherwise. It was almost as if he wanted to believe there was something going on and was desperately trying to look for it.

“I don’t even like Laurel as a person and I was never in love with Sara. She was a rebel, a fellow screw up just like me and I think I used her to blow up my relationship with Laurel.” Oliver felt that if Felicity could give him a concrete reason as to why she and Ray could never be, he would accept it and try to put this behind him. But he needed a reason. A darn good logical reason.

“I met Ray when I first moved to Starling. He was really sweet to me and was my first friend here. Ray is almost like the male version of me Oliver, give or take a few differing traits. I’ll admit we get along great but I’m not attracted to him. I have never thought about it and never wanted to go there. I doubt he has ever thought about it either since in the time he’s known me, he’s been engaged twice and is currently wooing some evil woman that I disapprove of. That was what you walked in on today. He asked me to do up his tie for him because he’s going on a date with Mistress Evil tonight and I was showing my disapproval by pretending to choke him.”

Felicity had contemplated not voicing her disapproval of Eleanor out of fear that Oliver jump to the conclusion that this was jealousy on her part but decided they had tiptoed around the Ray issue for long enough. It was time to lay it all on the table.

“But how do you know that he won’t wake up one day and realize that you’re the perfect woman for him? Or you’ll wake up one day and wonder what you’re doing with me when the perfect man who is your best friend has been beside you all these years.” My god he sounded pathetic, Oliver thought to himself. There was so much desperation in his voice. All the jealousy and insecurity, all the fear that plagued him had finally come out. “What if one day you wake up and realize that I’m just a trust fund loser. Why would you still want me when you can have your handsome best friend who is a self made billionaire who built his business from the ground up.” 

“Oh Oliver,” Felicity sighed, giving him a sad smile as she inched closer to him and pulled him into her arms. “Is that what you’ve been thinking all this time? You should have just told me.” 

“I didn’t want to add petty jealousy to my list of failings when compared to Palmer,” Oliver muttered. 

“Oliver, I can’t speak for Ray but I can speak for myself. I don’t love Ray that way and I never will because he’s just not the right guy for me. You’re right he is pretty wonderful on paper but not for me.” She kissed him on the forehead, feather light reassuring kisses, full of affection that told him how much she loved him. He didn’t deserve Felicity.

“Why not?” Oliver couldn’t resist asking. He had engaged in quite a meltdown already, he may as well go through with it and get some answers to put himself at ease.

“Because he’s fickle with his love. Don’t get me wrong, he’s been faithful to each and every one of his girlfriends and fiancés but when his relationship ends he always moves onto the next relationship so happily as if the previous one didn’t have much of an impact on him at all. I’m sure he’s loved each and everyone of his fiancés but he just falls in love so quickly and yet that love is never the passionate, all consuming _I will never forget you, I can’t live without you_ kind of love.”

“And you want that kind of love? The kind where if we’re not together I would dream of you forever?” Oliver sat up and cupped her face with his hands. 

“Yes. Yes I do. I don’t just want to be loved I want to be the love of someone’s life. I want it to be all consuming and incomparable to anything I’ve ever felt before.” She glanced away from him blushing a little.

“Felicity you are my always and I just want a chance to be yours.” Oliver pressed his forehead against hers and kissed her lips softly, eliciting a small happy whimper from Felicity. 

“Then give yourself that chance,” Felicity murmured. “Believe that you’re the man that I love.” She kissed him back, softly at first and then with more intensity. She didn’t know if her words had done any good. They were the truth but maybe he just needed her to show him how much she loved him and for him to believe in the connection between them. She kissed him fervently, desperately pouring all the love and passion she felt for him into her kisses. He responded by pulling her onto his lap, neither of them breaking the kiss as he held her body against his and sank back into the couch with her pressed on top of him. He loved Felicity with ever fibre of his being. These moments they spent tangled in each other’s arms were the only moments where he felt satisfied and at peace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update (in a fortnight's time): Oliver and Felicity spend time alone together in the present and Felicity learns a bit more about her past.


	7. 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys!
> 
> Finally I have your next update! 
> 
> My apologies for the delay! I forgot I had a vacation booked that would delay my updating schedule!
> 
> Anyways better late than never! Hope you enjoy it!

“Jonas has a set of practically everything at mom’s house. He doesn’t need it but between mom and Thea, all they do is shop to accumulate more junk for Jonas. I’ve given up addressing that over the years. He never travels anywhere without Parry.” Oliver pulled up a worn, ragged looking plush Parasaurolophus that looked like it had seen better days and waved it at Felicity. “I know I’ve said this before Felicity but we need to guard this dinosaur with our lives.”

Felicity smiled and nodded, “Yes I believe the last time you spoke to me about this dinosaur you said the entire Queen fortune cannot replace Parry and spot checks must be done to make sure he’s not lost.”

Oliver was organizing what he called his “Go” bag, a bag that he brought with him whenever he took Jonas out anywhere. He had been explaining the contents to Felicity, giving a thorough explanation of what each and every item was. Felicity listened politely with an amused smile on her face, whilst secretly thinking that all she needed was a packet of wipes in her handbag and she’d be fine. 

“You think I’m being excessive for packing all this stuff don’t you?” Oliver asked her with an amused look on his face. “I know what you’re thinking Felicity, you were like that when he was a baby too but trust me you’ll see the benefits of being well prepared which is why I took the liberty of getting this for you.” Seemingly out of nowhere Oliver produced a large pink tote that was filled with identical items he had in his dark green Go bag.

“Wow…Oliver I’m not sure what to say. Err I thought I could just borrow yours.”

“I think it’s best if we have our own. Adapt it to our own individual styles. You might want to pack certain things that I don’t think I need and vice versa.” He was peering at her cautiously while clutching his Go bag rather protectively.

Felicity bit back a smile. The man had mourned her for four years and worshipped an old portrait of hers while she was gone but he clearly did not want to share his parenting bag with her. He probably thought she was going to rummage around in it and leave it in a mess. Felicity noticed he had carefully constructed compartments for everything. 

“You have my word that I will not touch that bag of yours without consulting you first Oliver.” Felicity winked at him, further proving beyond a doubt that she was his Felicity. She still couldn’t wink properly after all these years. Oliver laughed and pulled her in for a hug.

“I love you,” he whispered between smiles.

“Just not enough to lend me your Go bag,” Felicity teased him, tilting her head whilst flashing him a cheeky grin. 

Oliver stroked her cheek lightly with one finger and stared at her intently in the way that only he could. His finger moved down to her chin, tilting her face towards his as he inched closer towards her, one arm banded around her waist holding her close.

“Mommy and Daddy are you going to kiss?” Jonas suddenly appeared seemingly out of nowhere fiddling with the hook on the zipper of his jacket. That kid normally thumped around like an elephant and could be heard rooms away. They must have been to engrossed in each other to notice him entering the room. Oliver made no move to let go of Felicity whose cheeks were starting to colour as she smiled sheepishly at their son. He had been alone for four years and this was Jonas’s own mother. Oliver made no apologies for trying to kiss his long lost wife. In fact he felt absolutely no guilt about shipping Jonas off to Moira and Thea for the weekend so he could make moves on Felicity.

“Kisses fix a lot of things in Disney movies,” Jonas continued calmly with the air of one thinking out loud. “You should have a good and proper long kiss to see if it’ll bring back Mommy’s memories.” With that Jonas zipped up his jacket and bounded out of the room happily.

Unable to bring himself to let go of Felicity, Oliver tightened his grip around her waist and pulled her close. To his delight Felicity threw her arms around his neck and stood on her tippy toes, her nose just touching his. “You heard our son Oliver, kiss me properly and make it long and good.”

Her words were all the encouragement Oliver needed as pressed his lips onto hers, softly at first, savoring this moment which he hadn’t dared dream of in all those years when he thought he had really lost her. As Felicity kissed him back, her tongue parting his lips, it was as if a switch in him tripped, Oliver’s mouth devoured hers as he wrapped both arms around her body and held her close, pulling her into a magical circle, a place where only the two of them existed. This wasn’t just a kiss between them. It was four years. Four years of full of loneliness and heartache on his part. Oliver had lived for Jonas in those four years whilst Felicity had tried her best to live her life and push aside the empty void she constantly felt. Here in Oliver’s arms there was no void. She may not remember him; remember what they had been but somehow for the first time she felt whole again.

*** 

“Am I a terrible mother for dumping my son at his Grandmother’s just so I can have a sex weekend?” Felicity lamented, craning her neck to peer at the vanishing view of Queen Manor as they drove off. She had been instructed by all three of Oliver, Moira and Thea to leave quickly but Felicity could not help feeling the mother’s guilt creep up on her. Goodness so this was what they called the infamous Mother’s Guilt. She worked all week, only saw Jonas in the evenings and now she was giving up a whole weekend with him just so she could sex up Oliver who was looking all kinds of hot in his casual weekend clothes. She glanced at Oliver in the driver’s seat beside her, looking ridiculously hot in his sunglass and felt her heart skip a beat despite her guilt over Jonas. Four years he didn’t have a mother and she was shipping him off to jump his father. Felicity was feeling conflicted about the whole affair.

“Sex weekend?” Oliver raised an eyebrow at her and perked up with interest. Time and memory loss had not robbed Felicity of her verbal gaffes but the words ‘sex weekend’ could not be ignored as a spark of hope and desire coursed through his veins. It was up to Felicity to dictate the pace at which they moved, he had vowed that would be the case the moment he laid eyes on her again. After everything Felicity had been through he didn’t dare to ask for anything more from her and was just so thankful she had accepted him and was on her way to falling in love with him again. It was more than anything he could hope for.

However he was still a red-blooded man who was currently living through the torture of having the love of his life draped all over him every night without anything happening.

“I thought we were taking it one step at a time. Finally have that date we’ve been putting off. But I’m all for a sex weekend if that’s what you think we should be doing Felicity.” It was a tiny but unscrupulous of him to be teasing her like this but he couldn’t help smirking at her as she turned beet red. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” poor Felicity continued to blush as she averted her eyes from his gaze. “Well maybe I did. Isn’t that what parents do? Have sex as soon as we have a moment away from our kid? Cuz he goes to bed pretty early so technically we could have had sex all last month after he goes to bed but you know what I have been so tired from this new parenting gig I keep falling asleep. I look at you and you’re all hot and you know…you and then I get hot and bothered but then BANG! I’m out like a light and in the morning I’m always freaked out that he’s going to run into the room. Although I have gotten a lot better, with the sleep thing. Maybe we didn’t need to ship him off? Maybe we could just have sex at night while he’s asleep. Or I could come to your office at lunchtime for sex.”

Oliver let out a splutter at her suggestion that she pop into his Major’s office during lunch for sex. Felicity winced but nevertheless soldiered on with her rant. “Although technically this is like my first time again since I don’t remember having sex, like ever so it’s a bit weird and stressful trying to do it with our son under the same roof. You know what I need to ease into it. Have sex while we’re alone and then I can build up my confidence and have fast paced parent sex after he goes to bed. Oh god I’m killing the romance aren’t I? I’m talking about parent sex instead of the kind you’d look forward to. You know torrid, wild sex. You probably remember all the torrid wild sex you and I had when we first met. Was there torrid wild sex? Why do I keep saying the words torrid wild sex? Make me stop!” She buried her hands in her face and peered at him through the tiny gap between her fingers. 

Oliver smiled a besotted smile at her and pulled the car over, putting on the parking break before cupping her face with his hands. “Shh relax Felicity. Let’s just go to dinner, order you a bottle of your favourite wine and then we can go home and see how you feel okay? I’ve waited for four years, I can wait some more.” He leaned in and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips, one that quickly intensified before he forced himself to pull away. “Although I have to add that I am more than ready to give you a demonstration of the torrid wild sex we used to have anytime you want.”

Felicity let out a huff of laughter before pulling him in for another kiss, her hands carding through his hair and giving it a little yank. Just a few more kisses Oliver vowed to himself. A few more minutes of this and he would get them back on track again. He was not having reunion sex with Felicity on the side of the road.    

***

“Where did you get the term ‘parent sex’ from anyway?” Oliver asked as he opened the front door with his keys, his other hand intertwined with Felicity’s. He led her inside and together they walked hand in hand to the couch. Although they had enjoyed a few lunches together without Jonas, tonight was truly date night. Felicity who looked a vision in her figure hugging red dress was just a wee bit tipsy from the red wine he had ordered, tipsy enough to have her chatting away animatedly, her earlier nervousness about them having dissipated, aided by a little liquid courage.

“I joined one of those online parenting groups and lurked ever since I found out Jonas was my baby,” Felicity admitted sheepishly. “Then I went and subscribed to a few mummy blogs. I thought it would be helpful which it wasn’t in reality. Everything you read about parenting seems so much more tedious and tiring than it really is in real life. Jonas doesn’t do or have half the problems that are so prevalent in the parenting groups.”

“I think we lucked out with Jonas,” Oliver smiled thinking fondly of his son. He almost missed him. Almost but not quite Oliver thought as he watched Felicity lean into him, her dress riding up her thighs. “He was a terror as an infant though. I think there was one day when he cried all day to the point where you and I sat and held him and cried together with him.” 

“I don’t think it’s luck,” Felicity smiled. “You’ve done an amazing job with him.” She wiggled over and snuggled happily into Oliver’s arms.

“He’s my baby with you. After I lost you I lived for him. He was my one chance of preserving that bit of you left.” Sensing that the mood was quickly shifting towards somber, he moved the discussion back to the topic at hand. “Soooo you still haven’t told me where you got this idea of parent sex from?”

“It’s stupid,” she smiled embarrassedly, hiding her face in his chest. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Aww come on. You can tell me anything Felicity. If you felt like you needed to read about parent sex, let’s talk about it and maybe you’ll work out whatever it is you were trying to work out.” Oliver gave her a little tickle in the ribs and nuzzled her neck.

“Well I was kind of aware that even though we weren’t together-together, we were sort of together, or were going to be together soon. And I know I feel _that_ way about you, I mean come on I’ve seen your abs several times during the past month. How could I not feel that way about you. And if I’m not reading this wrong, according to your eyes and your face you obviously feel _that_ way about me too. I mean if we were just dating, you and I would be all over each other in all the rooms of the apartment but we’re not two people dating, we have a child together and were married at some point. So I went and read up on what the sex lives of married people with kids was like and it was all very entertaining but it didn’t really help me in terms of where you and I are. I just got the impression that we have to have sex after he’s gone to bed or during lunch, for…um practical purposes and….and now I honestly don’t know what I’m rambling on about anymore,” Felicity confessed looking adorably bewildered.

“Felicity,” Oliver placed a hand on her shoulder and dragged his fingers back and forth across her bare skin. “I would very much like to be all over you in all the rooms if you’re up for it.”

“So no parent sex?” she squeaked at him as he watched her with his intense gaze. He must be trying to get rid of her parent sex notions. And it was certainly working for her, as he was looking all broody and smoldering, not like the kind of man who carried his own set of children’s cutlery around.

“Parent sex, wild torrid sex, I’m up for any kind of sex with you,” he whispered huskily. It was amazing how the man could make the words parent sex sound….sexy. Felicity felt her breath hitch as she gazed at him and nodded. Without a word Oliver scooped her up into his arms and carried her into their bedroom.

***

“Mmm cuddles,” Felicity thought to herself sleepily as she scooted back a little into Oliver’s waiting arms. It was then that she realized these were not her ordinary everyday early morning cuddles with Oliver. This was a nude cuddle. She had never had a nude cuddle before. A little smile formed on her face as she groggily remembered the events of the night before. She let out a happy little whimper as she felt Oliver’s hands wandering down her body, finally settling themselves between her thighs. She couldn’t remember what round they were up to but she had come to the conclusion that Mother’s Guilt was overrated and that it was good for Jonas’s development to spend time bonding with his grandmother and Aunt.

Oliver’s lips had landed just below her collarbone when the shrill sound of a phone ringing reverberated throughout the room. The ringing was so persistent Oliver stopped what he was doing and said softly, “That’s your phone Felicity. I think you better get it.”

“It can wait,” Felicity murmured groggily, willing him to ignore the phone and go back to concentrating on waking her up. “If it’s Jonas they would ring your phone not mine.”

“Honey I think you should answer it, it’s your other phone.” Oliver reached over to open her draw, retrieved her burner phone and tapped her bottom lightly. “Your secret burner phone! You need to answer it. It’s probably your spy friends.”

“They sure do know how to bring me back to reality,” Felicity huffed looking disgruntled as she took the phone Oliver handed her.

“Halloo, is anything wrong John?” she asked, hauling herself up to a sitting position on the bed. Oliver started towards the bedroom door to give her privacy. He didn’t get far as Felicity grabbed his hand and pulled him back in an attempt to stop him. She had not given him full details of who John and Lyla were or who they worked for, since that information was not hers to share but she felt that anything relating to her personally Oliver had a right to know. She didn’t want them to have any secrets from each other. Oliver’s skeptical look morphed into one of relief when she gave him an encouraging smile and motioned for him to sit next to her. He settled beside her and gave her thigh a gentle squeeze. 

“Felicity why haven’t I heard anything from you about your disappearance and attack? You told Lyla and I that you would handle it, made us promise not to take any action on our end and then I don’t hear from you for more than a month. I know you’re distracted with your long lost love and son but now that you’ve walked back into your old life, you can’t just ignore the fact that someone once tried to kill you and remove you from it.” John was clearly irate with her and didn’t have time for niceties. His disapproval rang out loud and clear over the phone in his tone and voice. Felicity could feel herself wincing. John had a soft spot for her and had never been as cross with her as he sounded right now. 

“John, Oliver is in bed next to me,” Felicity informed him, hoping that somehow this fact would decrease his ire. Oliver raised an eyebrow at her and looked amused when John’s voice boomed loudly through the phone once more.

“So this is why you haven’t gotten anywhere. What are you doing? Lolloping around in bed with your husband and conveniently forgetting how important it is to investigate who in your past life would have wanted you dead,” John lectured. He was clearly not in the mood to let her off the hook.

“John. I’m sorry. It’s been so hectic and I’ve been trying so hard to find my bearings again. You’re right, it’s important and I’ve been wrong to put it off. I’ll work on it and report back to you okay?”

Oliver wrapped both arms around her and gave her an encouraging squeeze. Despite being yelled at Felicity’s heart suddenly felt ten times lighter. She and Oliver were in a great place and she knew without a doubt she could count on his support. She was adapting to being Jonas’s mom. She was finally able to put all her focus on delving into the mystery of her disappearance now. Even though she hated mysteries, especially mysteries pertaining to her, Felicity had felt it was far more important to try and focus on her little family with Oliver and Jonas first. 

“Fly out to see me if you find anything relevant so we can discuss it,” John’s tone softened considerably. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m just worried that’s all. Both Lyla and I want you to have your life back but we also want you to keep it in tact so it’s paramount that you work out what happened to you four years ago.” 

“I know John. I know all you’ve ever cared about is my safety and I know I need to work it out to keep my family safe.” The man loved her the way Oliver and Thea loved each other. Despite being yelled at, Felicity couldn’t help feeling a bit overwhelmed at the concern John had for her. He had picked her up from the shipping container and treated her like family ever since. 

“Felicity I may yell but I always want to give you agency. Lyla will act. She doesn’t show it but she loves you and she will act when she feels like she needs to make the call. That’s why I’m so hard on you. I can only hold Lyla off for so long.” Felicity understood exactly what John meant. Lyla Diggle was not a woman to be trifled with. 

“Thanks John. You’ll hear from me soon.”

“Tell that husband of yours to be good to you or else he won’t know what hit him. Literally. Bye Felicity,” John added half joking, half menacing. 

“Bye John. Give Lyla my love.”

Felicity smiled as she hung up the phone. Oliver was watching her looking half awed, half intrigued.

“Your friends sound…scary,” he finally spoke.

“They saved me from the brink of death. They are not the kind of people you want to get on the wrong side of. But they have hearts of gold if you’re in their circle.” 

Oliver looked thoughtful and ran his hand through her hair. He stopped at the scar running along the back of her scalp. Felicity had no idea how he even found the scar since it was so well hidden in her hair. “You didn’t have this four years ago,” he murmured, kissing that spot on her head. A pensive look crossed his face, his lightheartedness from the night before seemingly gone. 

“Honestly I don’t think about it. What’s happened has happened. John is right though; I need to do a little digging. I’ve been neglecting that.” She grabbed Oliver’s hand, hoping to distract him from whatever guilt trip it was he intended to send himself on next. “Come on, let’s go have breakfast! You want me to make you an omelet?”

Felicity’s offer of an omelet garnered a smile out of him as he scrunched up his nose in distaste. “I think I’ll make breakfast for the both of us.”

Felicity was about to hop off the bed to head for the bathroom when Oliver held her by the waist and engulfed her in his arms. “Felicity there is something I need to tell you. I know you said you don’t want to know about our past but I feel like I need to tell you this.”

“You can tell me whatever you want but it won’t change the way I feel about you.” She grabbed Oliver’s hand and squeezed it. “But I think it will do you good to let go of whatever it is you’re holding onto.” 

“Before you vanished. Well long before that. Before Jonas was born, I was insanely jealous of Ray.” Oliver looked guilty, ashamed even. Perhaps she had read the situation wrong. His tension about Ray Palmer was due to the past, not anything to do with the fact that she was working for Ray now.

“I thought there was something weird going on with the way both you and Moira looked whenever Ray was mentioned.”

“I don’t know if Palmer said anything to you but long before you met me you were his best friend. For years you were best friends. You and I met and fell in love but I was insanely jealous of Palmer even though nothing ever happened with you two. It led to a lot of problems between us. They were all my fault, you and Palmer really were just friends but I couldn’t accept that.” Oliver suddenly looked so lost, so guilty, like the entire weight of their relationship was on his shoulders. 

“Oliver I think I understand. You don’t have to continue. Unless you think Ray is somehow responsible for my disappearance which I doubt he is, you don’t have to dredge up the past anymore.” She turned and kissed his lips softly to assure him she meant it.

“No I…I really need you to tell you. We…we were ok before you vanished. You were going to step away from work a bit to focus on us. I was never sure if that was what you wanted or whether you were just trying for my sake.” He looked so broken Felicity’s heart ached for him. There was no resentment on her part, no regrets. The man he purported to be in the past was not the man she knew so it almost felt like he was telling her a story about someone else’s life.

“Palmer was supposed to go with you on that trip to Russia. You guys were working on that project together as Palmer Tech was producing a chip for QC. He knew we had a lot of problems leading up to Jonas’s birth and he declined to go on the trip a week before you guys were due to fly out. I always think he did it for your sake, to try and save your marriage. I was relieved you weren’t going away with him. At that stage our relationship had improved and we were rebuilding but I couldn’t help feeling happy that he wasn’t going to be spending every day and every evening with you on this trip. God I was so stupid Felicity. I just couldn’t get over my jealousy and insecurities about Palmer. So I happily kissed you goodbye at the Airport, feeling thrilled that Palmer wasn’t coming along and then I never saw you again. I…I always think that…” He looked so broken, unable to continue. 

“You think that if Ray had come along things might have turned out differently and I might not have disappeared?” Felicity finished gently for him. “Oh Oliver I don’t know what to say to make you know that none of this was your fault. Whoever wanted to kill me would have found another way to do it eventually. Maybe it wouldn’t be on that trip if Ray was there but it would be some other time. Maybe they would have taken out Ray as well? We will never know what could have happened but the only obvious thing is that someone wanted to take me out. And you were in no way responsible for that.”

Felicity wriggled backwards and rested her head on his chest. “I’m glad that you told me though. Maybe now you can leave it all behind you. You know I will always regret not making my way back to you and Jonas sooner because I refused to look into my past. We lost all those years. It horrifies me to think what would have happened if fate hadn’t intervened. It was pure luck Oliver. Pure luck that I decided to move to Starling City. What if I had decided to move to Australia to conquer my fear of kangaroos? You and Jonas would have lost me forever.”

“I’ve been so grateful to have you back I forget how important it is to find the person who did this to all of us. Your mysterious spy friends are right. We need to stop indulging in our happiness and remember that we have a threat to deal with.” He tightened his arms around her protectively. He was never going to lose her again. He couldn’t bear it. He knew he couldn’t live through it again. 

“Oliver while we’re on the subject there is something I wanted to ask you.” Felicity furrowed her eyebrows as she gathered her thoughts.

“Everyone I’ve met has reacted differently but in ways that I think are pretty consistent with what I know of them. Ray was shocked and then looked very sad, this makes sense since you told me I was his best friend. Moira was shocked and dignified and then shrewd, now the more I know her, the more I realize that’s very in character for her. Which leaves Laurel. I know Laurel was an ex girlfriend of yours from a long time ago but did Laurel and I ever become friends? There was something off about her reaction. She switched between complete and utter shock to horror to misery and then regrouped herself within minutes. I found it very odd.”

“Are your super spy senses tingling?” Oliver asked. “You weren’t friends in the past. She was someone in my dim dark youth who was no longer relevant to me as harsh as that may sound. I had been trying to distance myself from her before I met you but it was tricky because we had the same circle of friends and I got along with Sara, her sister. Sara thought you were adorable. Before you vanished I would say we were both acquaintances with Laurel. After I lost you she tried to muscle her way into my life again, trying to order me about. I think she meant well but she was always so unpleasant I avoided her. Then when she brought up boarding school with Jonas that was just the perfect excuse for me to get rid of her once and for all. I have no idea what she was doing at Mom’s house that day. But that’s Laurel, always nosing in where she doesn’t belong. Probably heard about you and wanted to check you out.”

“You don’t think she was trying to win you back?” Felicity asked curiously.

“I certainly don’t see how Laurel would think anything could happen between her and I. I never stopped mourning you and even if I did, Laurel would be the last woman I’d want as a mother figure for Jonas.” 

Seeing Oliver’s alarmed face, Felicity decided to explain herself and put him at ease. “Nonono I’m not suggesting that YOU wanted Laurel. I’m asking if she wanted you. I found her behavior the other day very suspicious.”

“I’ve never given enough thought to Laurel to work out if she wants me,” Oliver confessed. “She’s just this nuisance that I try to dodge and after the boarding school stint I got the perfect excuse to cut ties with her. As for her behavior, she’s known to be hopped up on pills and booze in the past. They make her erratic, aggressive and irrational. Wouldn’t surprise me if she was back to her old pill popping ways for whatever reason. That would explain her behavior.”

“Hmm,” Felicity murmured. “I feel like I need to make a list of everyone we’ve ever known and look into each and every person. I wonder what everyone really thinks about our insistence that I’m not Felicity Smoak? There is no proof that I am anyone besides Felicity Michaels but I wonder how many of our old friends and family really buy our story.” 

“You mean the story where I have a wife, who everyone thinks is dead, but has come back to me and I’m passing her off as my new wife who looks eerily identical to my dead ex wife?” Oliver deadpanned.

“Am I your wife now? I thought I was the girlfriend and we’d get another wedding,” Felicity pouted.

“You want another wedding?” Oliver smiled at her. Felicity was his wife but he did want to marry her again. This time without all the hang-ups he had in the past. They were their older and wiser best selves now and Felicity deserved to have the wedding of her dreams seeing as she had no wedding memories to call her own. 

“I’m not sure,” Felicity answered. “Maybe! I kinda feel like I missed out on a wedding but it would be weird and creepy for you to publicly marry someone who looks like a clone of your dead wife.”

She stopped and squeezed her cheeks with her hands, looking so adorable Oliver couldn’t believe she was all his again. How did he even live a day without her.

“No wedding talk until I solve our mystery! Otherwise Lyla will descend on us. And I’d do anything to avoid that.” 

“I don’t know if I ever want to meet this Lyla person.” Oliver looked a bit disturbed at the thought of some scary super spy woman who ran a covert government agency.

“John will love you,” Felicity beamed. “John loves anyone who loves me.” 

*** 

“Do you need a few more minutes?” Oliver asked as he moved steadily but swiftly around the kitchen, juggling what seemed like at least half a dozen pots and pans full of goodies at once. It always made Felicity wonder why she needed so much brainpower to focus on just one pot. 

Felicity was perched on a stool at the breakfast bar, launching her program to extract a few bank records from Starling National Bank. Namely banking records belonging to Dinah Laurel Lance. Oliver may not think there was anything suspicious about Laurel’s behaviour but Felicity’s instincts told her otherwise. Oliver was simply too apathetic towards Laurel for him to give Felicity an accurate assessment of whether Laurel was capable of something like this. She would just run some precautionary searches. If Laurel had nothing to hide, then her little investigation was of no consequence anyway. 

“I’m done,” Felicity looked up from her computer and beamed at Oliver. Her algorithm was running and combing through all of Laurel’s bank transactions for any patterns or transactions of interest based on a set of parameters defined by Felicity. Another few hours and they would know whether Felicity’s instincts were correct or not.

   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately next update we head to the past again where PastOliver continues to be an insecure turd! Brace yourselves!


	8. 2010

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys!
> 
> Your next chapter! Hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> ***
> 
> Shameless plug:
> 
> Silly Halloween fic in case anyone hasn't read it yet!
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/12575768

**2010**

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Felicity sped into the dining room, discarding her shoes, bag and jacket along the way as if she were leaving a trail for someone to follow. To her credit the shoes were kicked off somewhere in the vicinity of the shoe cupboard, the bag deposited on the couch in the living room and the jacket on one of the dining room chairs. Oliver, who had been feeling a tad peevish at having to wait so long for her to come home, felt his annoyance subside considerably upon seeing her pouty apologetic face.

“Aww you made dinner,” Felicity stood on her tiptoes and plastered kisses all over his face. “I’m starving. Ray offered me something with rice, tofu and some peculiar odds and ends in it that I deemed too suspicious to eat even if I was desperate for food.”

“Did you and Ray stay back together?” Oliver asked, trying to keep his tone as casual as possible. He knew their project was still going. Felicity’s performance had exceeded Robert Queen’s expectations and she had become QC’s unofficial representative for the project. Which meant long hours working with Palmer. This niggled at Oliver despite how proud he was that Felicity was finally out of her IT cubicle and the company was utilizing her skills. He tried to look on the bright side. Felicity’s long hours with Palmer meant that she was seeing him less for social purposes. Oliver had enquired curiously one day why Felicity had stopped going to dinner with Palmer and had been informed cheerfully by Felicity that since she ate lunch with Palmer almost everyday, they were thoroughly sick of each other. He had secretly felt rather mollified by this.

“No I made him leave an hour ago. He was starting to back seat code and I found myself getting irritable. It’s been a long week and you know my fuse gets short when I’m tired. I thought it was better for our friendship and business partnership if he went home before I snapped at him.” Felicity closed her eyes and rolled her neck around, trying to loosen up. Oliver wasted no time, moving behind her, his arms massaging her neck and back gently.

“Mmm this is good,” Felicity sighed happily. “I could fall asleep after this if I didn’t need to urgently code.”

“Can’t one of your minions do it?” Oliver asked, still working on her shoulders.

“This is where I’m not sure how I feel about my new position. I used to be the genius minion churning out code at super speeds. Now I have to manage and oversee the project while still churning out code that no one else can write. I don’t know Oliver. I’m starting to think I’m in over my head.”

“You can always dial it back after you finish this project.”

Felicity looked thoughtful for a moment. “Robert seems like he expects more from me after this. And I can’t really be a code monkey for the rest of my life. If I want my visions to have a chance of coming to life, I need to grow beyond being a coder in the IT department.”

“I know all about my father’s expectations. Don’t get sucked in Felicity. You’ve got the brain that he wants and he’ll keep pushing you into whatever vision it is he has for you.” Oliver could write a novel on his father’s manipulations and expectations. Robert Queen was not above preying on Felicity’s eagerness to prove herself to further QC.

“The brain he wants. You make it sound like he’s a brain eating zombie,” Felicity laughed.

“He’s not far from it. He’d love that, all of us conforming to the family empire building narrative.” There was a tinge of bitterness in Oliver’s tone. 

“What do you want to do Oliver? I know you’ve been forced into this job because Robert has threatened you but at some point surely you can sit down and tell him that you’ve done your time and this is not for you. Then you can move onto something you want to do.” Felicity took hold of his hand and turned to look at him. Oliver knew she was worried about his happiness however he was unable to control the bitterness in his voice. 

“Well that’s the problem isn’t it? I don’t know what I want with my life. I’ve only ever been a trust fund baby.”

“You are so much more than that. You just need to work out what your calling is. And you’re doing so well even if you hate the job. When we first met you were so stressed about it. Now everything just gets done.” She smiled at him and he could see in her eyes that she believed it. One day the illusion would shatter and she’d see him for the shiftless person he really was.

“I’ve had significantly more years than you to work out what I want and I haven’t gotten anywhere until I was threatened into his job so it’s unlikely I can do any better than this.”

Felicity stroked his arm gently and carefully changed the subject. “I can’t wait for this first release to be over. I’ll feel like I can breath again until the second release.”

Oliver’s face softened and his eyes lit up. They were the eyes of a man who had been struck with a very inspired idea. “Let me take you to Bali. Please? We haven’t seen much of each other with how busy you’ve been. You deserve this and I want to travel with you." 

“You know we’ve never travelled together. That’s kind of weird now that I think about it. I moved in with you but we’ve never travelled together,” Felicity grinned at him, eyes sparkling.

“You look like you agree with me that it’s something that needs to be fixed.” Oliver was smiling his beautiful smile at her, his blue eyes crinkling in delight.

“I feel 500% energised at the prospect of going to Bali with you! Let’s eat and I’ll finish this code! It will come to me now that I know what the reward will be.” Felicity jumped out of her chair and bounded happily into his arms. 

*** 

“Oliver I received a call today from the bank. They told me you accessed the family vault,” Moira enquired after she and Oliver had placed their lunch orders. He had asked his mother out to lunch with the intent of informing her that he had selected a ring from the family safe deposit vault for Felicity. However once again nothing that happened in the family could escape either of his parent’s knowledge. 

“That was why I wanted to see you for lunch today mom. I wanted to ask you if I could have this ring. You always said we were welcome to any item from there whenever the right time came along.” He opened a small jewelry box and showed Moira the modest 2-carat cushion cut diamond, set in a simple platinum band. Oliver vaguely knew that it was a ring his grandfather, Moira’s father had bought his grandmother back when they were young and before they made their fortune. The ring didn’t scream “Felicity” however Oliver wanted her to have a family heirloom as opposed to something new from a jeweler.

“You’re planning to propose,” his mother said in a voice that barely disguised her shock and worry. Clearly she was not on board with the idea. After years of disappointment and reproach, of wishing he would pull himself together and abandon his playboy ways, Oliver found his mother’s reaction both intriguing and disappointing. She had met Felicity and although Moira remained cool, she had not voiced her objection or disapproval in any way. His father had been ecstatic. For once Oliver had not disappointed him and had surpassed his expectations instead of failing to meet them.

“I am,” Oliver replied coolly. “I’d like to know if I could have the ring. I don’t think Dad will object in this instance.” 

“Of course you can have the ring, the ring is not the issue here,” Moira said calmly trying to compose her objection. Oliver watched his mother with intrigue. This was not the reaction he had expected from her. He wanted to marry Felicity for no reason other than love, however on paper Felicity was the picture perfect candidate to marry into the Queen family and moreso Queens Consolidated. His dad certainly thought so. 

“You don’t seem pleased Mom. I must confess this was not the reaction I thought I’d get,” he responded, his tone shifting from cool to cold.

“Oh darling it’s not that I dislike Felicity. She’s a very admirable young woman and I can see as plain as day how much in love with her you are. It’s just that she’s incredibly young and sometimes love isn’t enough.” Moira took deep breath and leveled her gaze at Oliver, her expression softening. “I simply don’t think she is ready for marriage Oliver. She loves you, you love her and she will most likely say yes but I ultimately do not think she is the girl who would give you the easiest life.” 

“How could you say that? I don’t want an easy life. I want Felicity ” Oliver raised his voice a little. “Haven’t you and Dad been hassling and hoping that I would settle down all these years? I thought Felicity is the kind of girl you would have handpicked for me if you could.” 

“Your father certainly thinks so and I don’t disagree with him that Felicity is good for the family. I think you’re marrying her for the wrong reasons Oliver and marrying her is not going to give you everything that you want from her,” Moira answered calmly. “She is brilliant and you light up when you see her but she’s also got a will of steel and that is not the person I envisage you would be happy with.”

Oliver stared at his mother, unable to process her words. “I…I don’t understand,” he finally stumbled out. “I love her, I love everything about her. I’m not sure why you think Felicity’s strong sense of self is suddenly a problem.” 

“You obviously love her a lot Oliver, enough to want to marry her after only a few months of knowing her. My advice is that it is never a good idea to love someone that much. You love her, you want to be with her and you’d do anything to be with her. That gives her a lot of power over you, which will make your life miserable in the end.” Moira’s response was calm and collected as if she were trying to explain a very complicated concept to a young child.

“This isn’t about power or who loves who more. I’m not sure why you think that’s the issue here. I’ve met the love of my life and I want to marry her.”

“Whether you admit it or not there is a reason you’re rushing into a proposal after only dating and living together for a short time. You’re afraid of losing her for whatever reason and you think marriage will fix this. I worry that you will want more from Felicity than what she can give you. And that’s not necessarily her fault. I can tell she’s headstrong girl. I know she seems all light and rainbows but that girl has a will of steel that will not bend if you are ever at loggerheads one day. You may find the Laurels of this world unpleasant darling but they are weaker and easier to manage. I’m not saying to settle for Laurel, I’m saying perhaps it is best if you found someone you aren’t so enamoured with.”

“You don’t seem to understand that I don’t want to manage Felicity. I love her and I want her to be my wife. I want her with me forever.”

“Then don’t ask her to marry you now, give her time to grow and see where that takes your relationship. Give yourself time to recover from the spell that you’re under and appreciate that whilst you think she is wonderful, she’s probably just human. If it’s meant to be, she’ll still be yours in the end. Whether you can see it or not, you have certain expectations from Felicity. Expectations that you think will be delivered once you marry her. I’m here to tell you that’s not a good reason to jump into marriage.”

His mother’s words struck a cord in Oliver. He had refused to acknowledge it but deep down Oliver knew there were multiple reasons for his intent to propose, some more altruistic than others. He loved Felicity and wanted to grow old with her but a small part of him, the nagging insecure part wanted to bind her to him forever. Marriage would make things official between them and in some ways Oliver felt it would close off any burgeoning threat or potential between Ray and Felicity in the future.

“I love her so much Mom. She brings out the best in me and I’ve never felt that way about anyone before. If there is a spell I may never recover from it.” Oliver meant what he said. If he could just get Felicity down the aisle, they could work through anything. He would reign in his emotions and insecurities. Oliver felt that having Felicity as his wife would sooth a lot of the fears and doubts he had about his worthiness.

“I know darling. I can see on your face how much you love her and the light she brings into your life. But she is just a person. Take her off that pedestal you have her on or it will ultimately come crashing down one day. It won’t be good for either of you.” 

Moira paused and took a sip of water. “I have said all there is to say. For what it’s worth Oliver, I hope that I’m wrong and that you will be very happy together for a long time.”

***

“We should go to the beach,” Felicity murmured and she shifted lazily in her pool chair. Bali was beautiful and Felicity had thoroughly enjoyed exploring all the eateries and markets however the beach was rather crowded in comparison to the villa with their own private edge pool, overlooking the Indian Ocean that Oliver had secured for them. Thus it had become her ritual since the very first day of arrival to half-heartedly declare that they should go to the beach, despite never making it there. 

“I’m glad we’re not going to the beach today,” Oliver responded with a fond smile on his face. There’s something I have to show you.

“Mmm I like the sound of that.” A small smile graced Felicity’s lips leaving no doubt as to what it was she thought Oliver was going to show her. She reached out lazily, wondering why he wasn’t on top of her already.

“No no not that kind of show,” Oliver chuckled. “At least not right now anyway. It’s something even better I promise. Come inside I’ll show you.”

“Nothing could be better than that kind of show,” Felicity lamented, sitting up, all of her attention now focused on Oliver, wondering what he was being so mysterious about. Come to think of it, it was unlike him to make such a fuss about anything. Oliver usually just did things rather than talk about doing them.

“Just follow me inside and then I’ll give you the kind of show you want.” His voice was playful and full of mirth however she detected a hint of nervousness. The mystery was becoming more intriguing by the minute.

Felicity let Oliver pull her up from her sun lounge and lead her inside. She was about to make a quip about his mysterious ways when Oliver abruptly stopped and got down on one knee. “Felicity I thought of all the speeches I could write and things I could say but all I could think of was how much I love you and will always love you. Felicity Smoak will you marry me?” he asked, holding up what she then realized was a diamond ring. 

For split second Felicity froze, trying her hardest to process the scene before her. Oliver was in front of her, down on one knee, asking her to marry him. It was incredibly unexpected. They were new at this and so young still. She was so young still. Despite what was supposed to be a thrilling and happy moment, Felicity felt like the rug had been pulled under her somewhat.

They were happy, gloriously happy with each other but Felicity wasn’t sure that they were in a place where they should be getting married. Their happiness seemed incomplete somehow; there were elements in their relationship they hadn’t completely made peace with despite Felicity not being able to pin point what it was she felt they needed to address. 

Was she ready to settle down with Oliver for the rest of her life? And yet in her heart she knew. This was it. This would be the only romance that would ever matter to her. She could never love anyone the way she loved Oliver.

“Yes,” she found herself answering; still somewhat stuck in a daze.

“Yes?” Oliver echoed as if he couldn’t believe she had said yes. 

“Yes.” Felicity broke into a huge smile as Oliver picked her up and swung her around. “I don’t think there is any other answer I can give. I love you.”

“You’re going to marry me. You’re going to be my wife.” Oliver swung her around again, a giddy ecstatic look on his face.

“Yes I am,” Felicity laughed, her initial wariness dissipating. Despite any reservations she may have, they loved each other so very much and she had to believe that love would be enough. 

She motioned for Oliver to place her on the bed before using all her strength to pull him down with her. “So are you going to give me the show you promised me earlier?” 

***

 **GhostFoxGoddess** : I SAID YES!!!!!!!!!!!

 **TheAtom** : Congratulations!!! I definitely have to take you to dinner to celebrate.

 **GhostFoxGoddess** : It’s weird huh? I’m getting married. It sounds weird every time I tell myself that. But I’m so happy Ray.

 **TheAtom** : I can’t believe you’re getting married before me. 

 **GhostFoxGoddess** : Awww poor Ted. You’ll find “The Mother” one day. 

 **TheAtom** : Stop calling me that!

 **GhostFoxGoddess** : Until you quit acting like Ted Mosby, Ted Mosby you shall be called. Haha wonder if I should change your screen name to that on my app. 

 **TheAtom** : Don’t you dare! I have all your Stargate DVDs. 

Oliver had no intention of reading Felicity’s messages to Palmer but there they were before his eyes as he tucked Felicity (who had fallen asleep while coding) in. He extracted the laptop from her sleepy grasp and placed it on the footstool at the end of the bed.

There was something about the messages that made him uneasy. Their screen names that they no doubt had, had for a long time, their familiarity, the little jokes. Oliver knew Felicity loved him and was going to marry him. Hell Palmer didn’t even sound like he was making any moves on Felicity, still Oliver couldn’t shake off the feeling of uneasiness that there was someone out there who knew Felicity longer than he did and understood her in ways that he was only beginning to. Palmer was the first person Felicity told of her engagement. Oliver found the unique bond between Felicity and Palmer unnerving despite it’s very platonic nature. 

***

**2011**

“Come on Laurel, let’s go get something to eat.” Sara gingerly took her sister’s half empty wine glass and attempted to steer her sister back to their table where their entrees were due to be served any moment. 

“Who died and made you my babysitter,” Laurel slurred, stumbling back into Sara. “I know what you’re doing. You act like such a good sister but you’re secretly just worried that I’m going to make a scene. Just because you’re still good friends with Ollie right now. You’re the only reason I even got to a seat at the close friends table. Why is it like that Sara? We both banged him and you get to remain friends while he ignores me? Totally not fair.”

Sara looked around nervously hoping that no one would see them. It was fortunate that Laurel had snuck off outside with multiple drinks. Her saving grace was that she did not need to worry that Oliver, being too entranced with his new wife would find them here and throw Laurel out. Two more hours. That was how long Sara needed to survive at this party before she could load Laurel into the car and take her home. 

“Ollie has just been busy these days with work and all the wedding planning. I haven’t seen him much either. I’m sure he’s still friends with both of us.” Sara tried to sooth Laurel as best she could, knowing full well what a big lie that was. If only Laurel would stop trying to insert herself into Ollie’s life there was a small chance they could all enjoy each other’s civilized company again. But Sara knew her sister, how persistent Laurel could be. Sara was also beginning to see a new side to the changing Ollie; a side that had started to slowly emerged and was being nurtured by Felicity. Laurel and Oliver had well and truly left each other behind. Ollie had caught onto this a long time ago whereas Laurel failed to accept this.

“Do you know how many years Sara? How many years I waited for him and pushed him to move forward with me? All our friends were getting engaged. He couldn’t even go look at a place with me and suddenly he moves in with her after a few months. Now THIS.”

Laurel waved her arms around wildly gesturing at the lavish wedding venue before her. “He planned all this! I’ve seen all the tabloid pictures. He was dragging her all over town to plan this wedding. It was his idea to marry her this quickly. I can’t even blame her for getting her claws into him Sara. This was all Ollie.” 

Laurel turned and glared furiously at a beautiful flower arrangement of peach coloured roses. Ollie picked those. She’d rung up Thea one day and after a long round about conversation, had been informed by a hesitant Thea that she, Thea had to leave to help Ollie pick out flower arrangements for the wedding.

“He’s found The One. You’ll find The One yourself one-day Laurel. Forget about Ollie, he’s not worth it.” Sara wasn’t sure if it was something she should be saying but at this point the situation was so dire she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Oh but he is Sara. I invested years in him. It would have been worth it. I want to be Mrs. Queen. Had he not met her he would have come back to me.” Laurel was staring blankly into the distance, as if she were absorbing all the splendors around her, mentally cataloging every detail and how everything she saw today should have been hers.

“You deserve so much more than this Laurel. You just need to let this go and move on.” Sara steered her sister gently away from the reception venue. Two hours be damned. With the state Laurel was in, there was nothing to do but to try and get her sister back to the car and high tail it right now. Ollie wouldn’t notice anyway.

“You’re right. I deserve so much more than this.” Laurel stood up straight and wiped a tear from her eye, glaring at the reception venue as if it had suddenly become her mortal enemy. She grabbed back the drink Sara had removed from her possession and chugged down the contents. “Ollie will be mine. I was here for the wedding and I will be here for the divorce.” 

***

“You did it Ollie. You got the girl. Smart play too, locking her down as quickly as you did.” Tommy joined Oliver as he watched Felicity dance with Palmer. He had no choice but to smile through clenched teeth when Palmer had descended on them asking Felicity for a dance. Oliver tried not to let it bother him. Their first dance together as husband and wife had been magical and he found himself wishing that the entire wedding party would vanish just so they could be together, in each other’s arms, alone. 

Prior to dancing with Palmer, Felicity had danced with each and every one of her friends. A lanky boyish looking youth by the name of Barry, a shorter boy with hair that rivalled hers called Cisco, as well as her girlfriends Iris and Caitlin. There was something about Palmer being the last person Felicity danced with in the group that bothered him. It signified how close they were. He was her best friend and out of all her friends, Felicity had saved her last dance for her best friend. 

“I can’t believe she said yes,” Oliver admitted. Some of Tommy’s ill conceived comments still irritated him however his friend had wholeheartedly embraced his best man role and had gone out of his way to help Oliver achieve what he wanted, namely a quickly planned and executed wedding. Tommy’s bark (or thoughtless comments in this case) were far worse than his bite and Oliver could now see that whilst Tommy did not understand the depth of his love for Felicity, he did respect that Felicity was who Oliver wanted and had tried his best to be supportive in his own way.

“She could do a lot worse,” Tommy replied cheerfully. “You’ve gotten boring in the last few years Ollie, even before you met her. I think you’re on your way to being well suited to her now. You’ll probably have three kids, drive a minivan and move to the suburbs next. I couldn’t see it before but now I can.” Tommy shuddered at the image of a white minivan outfitted with three child car seats.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Oliver said wryly. “Seriously though Tommy, thanks for using some of your connections to help me plan this so quickly. Who knew you had so many connections to the wedding industry. I think you’ve found your calling.” 

Tommy shot him a disgruntled look. “Shouldn’t you be getting back to your new wife,” he muttered.

***

“Mrs. Queen,” Oliver whispered into Felicity’s ear as he held her tight in his arms. “What are the chances that we could just slow dance towards the door and make a break for it?” 

“We’re almost at the end my love, let’s see it through,” Felicity smiled at him. “If we are going to make a break for it now, we should have just eloped at the very beginning.”

“Do we need to fly tomorrow? Maldives is a very far away place. Can’t we just hole up in a hotel somewhere?” Oliver whispered, kissing her softly.

“The views will be worth it I promise,” Felicity answered kissing him back. They were half a step away from a full blown make out session on the dance floor but Felicity reasoned that if she was going to see the rest of this reception through, she was also going to have a little fun for her own benefit. Besides they were married now. Making out with her husband was the natural thing to do. 

“You’re the only view that I want,” Oliver mumbled in between kisses. Felicity responded with several more kisses while discreetly leading him to the exit. She decided it was going to be more fun and practical for them to spend the rest of this reception in her locked dressing room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update we head to the present to find out more about Felicity's disappearance!


	9. 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiii
> 
> Remember me! Sorry it's been so long! I was off writing happy silly stories!
> 
> Here is your update, I hope you enjoy it and that you're all still reading!

Felicity stared at the screen before her. Two days and she didn’t know what to do, how to proceed. What was clear was that she needed to do something but the question of whether she should tell Oliver her newly discovered knowledge hung over her, preventing her from taking any decisive action. 

Her little foray into Laurel’s bank account had led to the discovery of a series of payments to the tune of $50,000 Laurel had made to a third party. A thorough search of said third party and a series of facial recognition scans had confirmed that Laurel had hired a goon to get rid of her. Facial recognition software showed the man boarding a flight to Russia shortly after she left for Russia and further hacking had placed him around Felicity’s hotel in Russia.

Laurel hired someone to kill her and thankfully he botched up the job. It was a miracle Felicity had been found by John and made her way back to Oliver and Jonas. Laurel Lance for whatever reason, robbed Felicity of four years of her life and caused her son to be motherless. Laurel was the person responsible for saddling Felicity with the burden and guilt of constantly wondering if she had tried to find out who she was, if she hadn’t adopted a new life, she might have made her way back to her boys sooner.

And yet there were so many things Felicity did not understand. Laurel and Oliver were ancient history and had been long before Felicity entered the picture. At least for Oliver that was the case. There was certainly no love lost between Laurel and Oliver these days, yet the woman had tried to murder her in cold blood leaving a little boy motherless. And for what? Nothing had been achieved on Laurel’s end. Felicity found herself absentmindedly shaking her head, trying to process the insanity of it all. 

Oliver built walls around himself, locked up his heart and went into mourning. Sometimes Felicity felt he still mourned her former self. Oliver loved her without a doubt and their relationship was stronger and much more stable the second time round from what she could gather of their past. Yet sometimes it was plainly obvious from the way he looked at her that he still harboured thoughts about what could have been, about the life he could have had with the woman she no longer was. 

Still there was Jonas to consider now and she loved Oliver too much to explore any feelings of jealousy or insecurity about whether he loved her or her former self more. It was another reason to despise Laurel who was rsponsbile for all of this. 

It was clear she must tell Oliver and then John and Lyla. She just dreaded the prospect of managing his fury and wondered how she was going to stop him from blowing up at Laurel. Laurel needed to be brought to justice but it was a tenuous set of circumstances they were dealt and Felicity knew better than anyone that retribution upon Laurel had to be handled deftly and quietly.

***

“She has to pay for this! HE has to pay for this,” Oliver paced around their bedroom. To say he was furious and agitated was an understatement. Anger radiated from every inch of his body as he spoke in a quiet voice, a voice that was laced with anger and hatred.

“And she will. But we need to be smart about this. What has happened, has happened. Laurel has gotten away with this for four years, another few weeks will not change anything.” Felicity braced herself for Oliver to fly into another rage. He was not going to like her next idea.

“I need to go and speak to my friends. Inform them of the situation so to speak. I want to know exactly what happened four years ago and Laurel’s hired gun is the only person who can answer those questions for me.”

“You will not be meeting up with the man who almost killed you. Heck he did kill you. He took your old life away from you. He needs to go to jail. Laurel needs to go to jail.” Oliver was reacting exactly as she had predicted. He wanted to storm into the nearest police station with the bank statements and CCTV footage, quite forgetting that Laurel’s father was the Chief of Police and that Felicity had hacked to get all this information. 

“Oliver I know you’re angry. I’m angry and they need to pay but this is not how to go about it. Technically Laurel and her associate haven’t done anything to me since I am not Felicity Smoak. All this evidence I have gathered was obtained illegally. I need to speak to my friends and get their help. They will want justice for me but it may not be the brand of justice that we’re used to.” She got up and held him still, gently nudging him to sit down on their bed.

“Your killers are running around free in the same town as you and our son Felicity. I don’t know how you expect me to be ok with that.” Every muscle in his body twitched and Felicity knew he was dying to pace around again so she crawled over and deposited herself on his lap, hoping her presence would calm him. It appeared to be a successful strategy as Oliver instinctively wrapped his arms around her, his tension easing somewhat.

“We can’t handle this the normal way Oliver. Can you accept that for me? I am Felicity Michaels as far as the world is concerned. I met you and you fell in love with me because I look like your dead wife. I’m not even Jonas’s biological mother on paper. I need you to trust me and to let me handle this.” She gazed up at him beseechingly. “I need you to do what you’ve been doing for four years and that is to keep Jonas safe and support me while I handle this. Do you think you can do that for me Oliver?”

“I can’t sleep at night knowing what Laurel is capable of and that she’s in the same town as our son. Hell the woman is insane, I don’t think I will ever feel that you and Jonas are safe unless she’s behind bars.”

Oliver had a point. Felicity didn’t worry about herself, she wasn’t the physically weak girl she was four years ago, the Diggles had seen to that. She also had the added benefit of knowing exactly who her enemy was. But the thought of Jonas living in the same town as Laurel made Felicity feel queasy.

“I agree with you. Which is why I think we should hire a bodyguard to watch him from a distance, whether he’s at preschool, with us or with Raisa. Nothing that he needs to know about and it’ll be temporary until I handle the situation. But first I need to meet with my friends.”

“I don’t want to be away from you ever again,” Oliver declared at once; panic setting in his eyes again. Felicity didn’t blame him. Last time he let her out of his sight he lost her. She was asking a lot of him to let her go off once again, even if she wasn’t leaving the country. Felicity took both of Oliver’s hands and tried to unsuccessfully cover them with her tiny ones. She settled for rubbing circles on his chest instead.

“I’m not that girl anymore Oliver. I can handle myself. The two most lethal people you will ever meet have trained me in self-defence. I mean, I’m nothing like them in terms of skills but I can handle myself. I will be gone for one-day tops. The way these things work is I usually fly into a city to meet one of my friends on neutral ground where neither of us live and then I fly home again. I need you to trust me Oliver and to take care of Jonas for me.”

“Can we come with you?” he asked suddenly. “Think about it. Whatever level of crazy Laurel is at, she’s not going to do anything to us if all three of us are together. I can’t put you on a plane again Felicity. The last time I did it, you vanished and it almost destroyed me. I’d do anything for you but I just can’t do this. Jonas and I will go explore whatever town you go to, we’ll stay out of your way. I just cannot be apart from you right now. Maybe one day when this business with Laurel is over but…” His voice shook as he spoke, the trauma of the past evident on his face. One look at Oliver’s face and Felicity knew she simply couldn’t make him physically live out that nightmare again.

“Let’s all go together. My first trip with Jonas. I wish it could have been under different circumstances but ordinary circumstances seem to be few and far in our lives up to this point.” She tilted her head and gave him a series of gentle reassuring kisses all over his face. “I love you. I promise you I will take care of this and you will never lose me ok?”

Oliver tightened his grip on her and kissed the top of her head. “I love you so much. I wish I had been a better husband back then. You deserved better. You’re so amazing Felicity. After everything you’ve been through, you’re going to be my heroine and clean things up. You weren’t always like this. You were so young and vulnerable and I just added to your stress with my insecurities and demands. I wish…I should have been better to you.”

It was then Felicity realized that Oliver didn’t love her any less. He simply wished he could have loved her back then the way he loved her now. There was so much regret on his part.

“Maybe you needed time to grow yourself,” Felicity assured him. “We were both young and immature from the sound of it. You were intense and I was ill equipped to handle it. Both of those people are gone now Oliver so it’s not a question of you being good to me in the past. The Oliver Queen I know today would have handled things like a champ so you need to give yourself a break. Hell I wish I had tried to find out who I was after I recovered. If I had you and Jonas wouldn’t have spent so many years without me. But as it stands things played out the way they did and no amount of guilt is going to change the past so we just need to let it go.”

Felicity pressed her face into his chest and closed her eyes. During times like these her memory loss felt like a blessing. She could only bask in the now and did not care to dwell on anything in the past because it was so foreign to her. Like she was looking at someone else’s life.

“You’re right,” he said smiling at her, that soft sweet smile, so full of love and devotion. “I’ve still got the rest of my life to love you.” 

***

“You’re a hard man to track down these days,” Laurel snapped impatiently as she sauntered towards Rene Ramirez who paled visibly when he saw her. She was a ghost from his past, one that he didn’t expect or want to see ever again. 

“What the hell are you doing here,” he asked in a low panicked voice. “You’re lucky Zoe isn’t home today. Get the hell off my property.”

“Very nice place you have. Made good use of the money I paid you I see,” Laurel sniggered casting her eyes on her surroundings. So this is where he ended up after all these years. Cute little brick cottage in a tree lined neighborhood complete with a picket fence. Laurel felt a surge of resentment as her eyes zeroed in on the brightly painted swing set in the front yard. Even trash like him had moved on and made a life for himself. She had nothing to show for it. Four years on and she was still dealing with goddamn Felicity.

He looked frightened. And so he should be with all those skeletons rattling in his closet.

“Look Laurel I don’t know why you’re here. Our little deal ended four years ago so get the hell off my property and stay away from me.” Rene tried to sound menacing but he couldn’t contain the fear in his voice. His actions had haunted him every day for the last four years and he had come to realize this was the price he had to pay in order to provide Zoe with the life she currently led.

“Don’t you speak to me like that you little low life,” Laurel hissed. “You lied to me. You took my money and you lied to me. She’s not dead.”

Rene stumbled backwards at this statement. “What…what the hell do you mean Hoss?”

“Still as classy as ever I see,” Laurel snapped before shoving a bunch of pictures of Felicity at him. “This is Felicity Michaels. Does she look like anyone we might know? What’s more telling is that after sobbing over his dead wife for four years; Ollie has run straight into her arms without any qualms. Only one woman has had and can have that effect on him. I’m going to give you a chance to tell me the truth. Did you kill Felicity four years ago or not like I asked you to?” 

Rene grabbed the pictures, shuffling through them one by one, staring at each picture in disbelief. That face, that smile. The sweet happy face he hadn’t been able to look at when he carried out the attack so he had thrown a bag over her, beaten her up and left her for dead. He was so sure she was dead. There had been no signs of life when he dumped her body into that shipping container with all the other girls. At the time he thought it was his best strategy. His contact had assured him that one dead girl amongst a group of nameless girls was not something anyone was going to look into. She would merely be considered collateral damage. It had certainly seemed a lot safer than trying to get rid of a body, by himself, in a foreign country.

“These pictures…they must have been pictures of her when she was still alive,” he muttered, still shuffling through the pictures frantically. She couldn’t be alive. Either these were old pictures or this was someone else and crazy ass Laurel was just here to cause more trouble. For all her efforts it appeared that she made no progress with Major Queen, who was the reason why all this started in the first place. 

“They are pictures of Felicity Michaels who is very much alive and running around playing happy families with Ollie. You explain to me why she’s identical to the woman I hired you to kill. You didn’t do your job properly did you, you good for nothing piece of garbage?” Laurel’s voice was rising and Rene could tell she was on the verge of hysterics. She had been unstable four years ago but today she looked like she was barely hanging on by a thread.

“Look Hoss I killed Felicity Smoak like you asked me to. She’s dead. I dunno why this woman is running around with the same face as her and if Major Queen is shacking up with her that’s your problem not mine. You just unlucky he found another one identical to the one you got rid of. Now get off my property and don’t you dare show up again.” He took two steps towards Laurel and glared at her menacingly. Laurel however was completely unperturbed by this.

“You messed up. You must have done something wrong you half witted moron. I refuse to believe there are two copies of the same girl in this world and that Oliver should stumble on both of them. You need to fix this since it’s your fault and she’s not dead.” She glared at Rene defiantly, full of conviction that he had messed up and owed it to her to fix this.

“You are an insane b#tch! I did what you asked four years ago. Stay away from me and don’t show your face here again.” He marched towards the front door. Clearly he didn’t intimidate Laurel and the only way to get rid of her was to remove himself. She was crazier than he remembered.

“Maybe it’s time you accepted that whoever Major Queen shacks up with it ain’t gonna be you.” He delivered the parting shot as he entered the house and slammed the door. 

*** 

Felicity watched with a small smile on her face as Jonas splashed about and played with his water toys at the shallow end of the pool while Oliver and John kept an eye on him. Oliver in particular had his eyes on their son like a hawk while conversing with John. Her two favourite men were having beers together and judging by their body language both seemed to be relaxed and enjoying themselves. Felicity felt a tremendous sense of relief. It meant a lot to her that Oliver should get along with John and Lyla.

Felicity could tell that Oliver was the subject of intense scrutiny at first, however thanks to Jonas and his charming ways, John and Lyla had thawed out relatively quickly, their logic being that anyone who could raise a child like that alone was likely a decent enough person.

“You probably wish John was the only one involved in this so you can sweet talk him into doing exactly what you say don’t you?” Lyla asked drily. 

Felicity couldn’t quite deny she was wrong. Lyla was a realist, always prepared to make the hard calls, even more so since she took over as the Director of ARGUS. In this instance Felicity feared that the hard call was going to be Lyla’s preferred course of action.

“John may have found me but I owe both of you for everything I have now,” Felicity replied. “I just…I know you and I know how you want to handle this Lyla. And I’m asking you to give me a chance to handle it my way first.”

“You do realize every bit of information you have found is through illegal hacking and you can’t use it to put her in jail?” Lyla’s tone was calm and neutral. She knew Felicity needed to have this conversation and she was willing to go along with it until Felicity could see that there really was only one way to handle things.

“But I did find the name of the person Laurel hired to attack me. If I could just track him down and speak with him. Ask him a few chosen questions to see what his reaction will be. Maybe he will give me something to put Laurel away legally.”

“Look Felicity you were a victim of a violent crime and I understand the need to investigate what happened to you.” Lyla reached out and placed both hands on Felicity’s shoulders, a move that felt slightly awkward since she was not a hugger, unlike John who really was a giant teddy bear. A lethal one but a teddy bear nonetheless. “I get it, I really do. You want to look him in the face, you want to hear from him why. But we do know why he did it and we can guess accurately why Laurel hired him. There is a much neater way to wrap this up. You won’t get to face either of them but it will be cleaner for you in the long run you’ll be a lot safer.”

Felicity once again tried to plead her case. It was ironic, here she was pleading for Laurel and Rene who had colluded to kill her. Still it was obvious what Lyla intended to do and there was no way Felicity could find peace with that. Laurel and Rene had committed a brutal wrong against her but she still felt like she needed to find another way out of this. She wanted justice not revenge.

“Lyla I showed you everything I found because I respect you and John so much. I owe you guys my life. But I’m begging you Lyla there has to be another way. I know who it is now; I’ll be on high alert. I assure you that I will keep my family and myself safe. I need you to give me time to seek justice for myself. Please Lyla.”

“John will shadow you if you insist on tracking down this Rene Ramirez. What are you going to tell Oliver though? From what I’ve seen of him, I don’t think he disagrees with the way I want to handle this situation. You and Jonas are his number one priority.”

Lyla turned and watched the boys kicking back down below. Felicity felt herself wondering if they realized the heavy discussion she and Lyla were currently having and what they would think of it.

“I’ll explain to him. If I can convince you, I can convince Oliver. I have faith that he’ll trust me enough to give me the space to handle this.”

“He’s a great guy. I’m sorry I pushed you to start over. You could have been with them sooner.” Lyla was not a woman who doubted herself or harboured many regrets but this decision weighed heavily on her conscience, especially after meeting Felicity’s little family. 

“I think we all need to stop apologizing for that. Sometimes I feel guilty for not finding them sooner but looking back honestly I’m not so sure if I was ready for them those first few years. I had no recollection of anyone, anything. I felt lost and needed time alone to process the fact that I couldn’t remember a thing and had no cherished memories like other people. For me to walk right into a life with a husband and very young child, to try and be a mother and a wife all at once…well I’m not sure if that path would have been smoother than this one.” 

“When this is all over we’re going to visit you in Starling City and have a get together without the need for these clandestine meetings,” Lyla said in a determined voice.

***   

“I like your friends,” Oliver said as they got ready for bed. It had been a long day of transit, although Felicity was impressed with how adept at travelling Jonas was. Somewhere between heartbreak and raising their son alone, Oliver had managed to take Jonas on numerous vacations thereby creating quite a seasoned little traveller. 

“They like you too,” Felicity smiled as she crawled into bed beside him, automatically rolling into his arms. She wondered if she always slept like this back then. She had slept alone and was used to sleeping alone in her years away but these days she couldn’t imagine sleeping without Oliver’s arms wound around her. 

“Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?” Oliver asked, freeing one arm to find her hand under the covers. 

“There are no elephants,” Felicity answered. “You know exactly what we discussed with John and Lyla this weekend.”

“What about the one where I agree with Lyla?” Oliver propped himself up and looked her straight in the eye. “Felicity you have an amazing capacity to tolerate, love and forgive but in this instance I think Lyla’s call is the correct one.”

There was so much more that he wanted to say to Felicity but he didn’t want to hurt her any more by dredging up the past. She was so brave and seemed to bear no mental scars from the attack, however he remembered what Felicity was like. Some things did not change. She liked to compartmentalise things and adapt, always opting to move forward rather addressing her demons. She had done the same when they were younger.

During the time spent with the Diggles, John had told him about all of Felicity’s horrific injuries when he first found her. Laurel was responsible for all of that. Laurel in cold blood went and found someone and paid the person to do that to his Felicity. And all these years she was walking around free, trying to inject herself into his life, standing a few feet from Jonas. It made Oliver sick to think about it. Even if they could find a way to expose Laurel and send her to jail, Oliver would still prefer Lyla’s suggested method.

Felicity looked away, avoiding his eyes before answering. “I know you’re angry. I’m angry. I know you’re probably angrier than I am because to me an attack on you or Jonas would hurt me worse than an attack on myself. And I get how you’re feeling. But Oliver do you really think we could just move on and be happy for the rest of our lives if we sanctioned Laurel’s elimination. I agree with you what she did is evil and she’s possibly unhinged in her obsession with you but if we agree to Lyla’s suggestion we will need to live with that and I don’t want us to infect our wonderful new life with that kind of darkness. We can’t make that call Oliver. I will ensure that she stays away from us forever but eliminating another human being is not a call we should be making.” 

“I’ll do it. You can blame it on me. I can live with it just fine Felicity. I’ll call Lyla.” He gently cupped her cheeks and tilted her face so that she could see into his eyes. “I will make the call and believe me I will be fine with it and sleep perfectly well at night. Better actually.”

“Oliver,” Felicity sighed as she snuggled into him and buried herself in his arms. “Let John and I investigate Rene Ramirez and see what we can find. Let’s not do anything rash yet.”

“Facing your attacker is the last thing you should be doing,” Oliver protested. 

“I can handle it and John will have eyes on me. We’re going to survey his situation and see if we can find anything. Can you trust that I can do this? I found out Laurel was responsible for my attack and with a bit of time I will build a better case against her.” 

“I’m not going to fight you on this because I refuse to waste a minute of our lives fighting over something Laurel caused.” Oliver kissed the top of her head and pulled her even closer to him. At least for tonight she was safely wrapped up in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update: Back to the past during the time Felicity is pregnant with Jonas!


	10. 2011

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys!
> 
> Just a word of warning, this chapter contains miscarriage themes. Just in case this upsets anyone.
> 
> ***
> 
> Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year filled with lots of yummy things to eat!

 Two little pink lines. All it took was for two little pink lines to appear on the stick for Felicity’s world to come crashing down on her. She wasn’t even sure why she was feeling so devastated. She was married to a man who adored her. Sure they had some issues they needed to address but she was in a committed relationship and Oliver was going to be ecstatic.

Oliver was going to be ecstatic. The thought echoed in her head over and over again. He was going to be ecstatic, over joyed. He was going to be the best father ever. It was then that reality hit her. There was no discussion to be had about this. About whether they were ready for this baby, whether SHE was ready for this baby and what it would mean for their lives, for her career, for everything she had worked for. In what seemed to be a reoccurring pattern in her life, Felicity once again felt like she had no choice in this matter. She was 22 years old, married and with an unwanted and unplanned baby on the way. This was not what she had imagined for herself.

Taking her time Felicity sat in her office alone for what seemed like hours before she dialed the number of her general practitioner. It was time to put on a brave face and her big girl pants to tackle this head on. For Felicity that meant confirming without a doubt that she was pregnant before she dove headfirst into whatever was going to happen next. 

***

“You’re sure?” Oliver beamed at her, his eyes shining like two precision cut cornflower sapphires. “You’re sure you didn’t read it wrong? Was it a faint line? Or a dark line? Where is the stick anyway I want to save it to document everything.”

“I went to the doctor to get a blood test. We’re definitely having a baby.” Felicity tried her best to match his enthusiasm despite her feelings. She had underestimated Oliver’s enthusiasm. He was so caught up in the pregnancy news, his biggest fear was that it was untrue and she wasn’t really pregnant after all.

Felicity forced a smile on her face as she once again confirmed the news. “Doctor Brennan gave me a list of recommendations for obstetricians. I’ve picked a lady called Dr Elspeth Wong, her consult rooms are a block away from Queen Consolidated.”

“We’re having a baby,” Oliver grinned at her in delight, picking her off her feet and swinging her around enthusiastically before placing her down gently on his lap and looking sheepish. “I guess I shouldn’t be man handling you like that. I’m sorry I’m just so happy I got carried away. I didn’t make you nauseous did I?” 

“No I’m fine. Seems like I’ve been pretty lucky. No nausea, sickness.” Felicity tried her best to smile at him, woefully aware that she was failing. For a split second a look of uncertainly flickered across Oliver’s face as his expression clouded. He ironed out his features almost immediately and kissed her on the forehead. 

“It’s a new adventure Felicity. We’re moving onto the next stage of our lives and it’s going to be amazing. I know it seems scary now, especially since we didn’t plan it but we’ll tackle it together. We’re going to be amazing parents. You’ll see.” He was trying his best to convince her and Felicity felt like there was something very wrong with her for being so utterly unhappy. She was ruining Oliver’s big moment and yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shake off the feeling of complete despair inside. 

She was so alone in this; she couldn’t even talk to Oliver about it for fear of dampening his happiness. Felicity felt like she needed to scream. Life as she knew it was going to be turned upside down and there was nothing she could do, no protest she could make. She knew she wanted kids and that she definitely wanted cherubic little babies with Oliver, however that had always been such a far off concept destined to take place in a decade or so, not right now when there was so much more she wanted to do with her life than to be bogged down with a very dependent little person.

Determined not to ruin his big moment, Felicity pasted a stoic smile on her face and tried to look as brave as she could when her eyes met Oliver’s. “I just…It caught me off guard you know. It was…still is such a shock. I’ve always thought that when this happened we would have planned it. I’m…I like my plans.”

“I know,” Oliver whispered peppering her face with kisses. “I know honey but this is a blessing and we’re going to be fine.”

Felicity closed her eyes and leaned into his chest. She hoped he was right. She hoped she was going to find a way to be ok with this somehow. 

*** 

“Felicity I was doing some research and thinking about our choice of obstetrician.” Oliver leaned over a little closer to Felicity, keeping an eye on her meal at the same time to see if she ate her vegetables or not. She had been rather tired lately and although he knew that was a symptom of the first few months of pregnancy, she was still working long hours and not taking a break for adequate meals.

“What about it?” Felicity asked looking distracted as if she wasn’t really there with him at all. It was now a habit for her to always looked like she was a million miles away ever since they found out about the baby. Oliver tried to brush it off but it was becoming increasingly apparent that Felicity was not as thrilled about this baby as he was.

“Dr Elspeth is a nice lady but she doesn’t specialize in complicated pregnancies. I found another doctor who is not too far away. Dr Richard Sparks. He specializes in complicated pregnancies and multiples. I think he’s a better option for us. Just in case.”

Oliver’s voice was gentle. Whatever was going on with Felicity, he felt like he needed to ease her into this. Moira upon hearing the news had reminded him that Felicity was still incredibly young and it was highly likely that this pregnancy had been a great shock to her. At first Oliver had scoffed at his mother. They were married and were always going to start a family together at some point. This baby (or Pookums as he was beginning to fondly refer to him/her) may have been an early blessing but Pookums was a blessing they should be grateful for.

“It’s not a complicated pregnancy and I’m pretty sure we’re not having multiples,” Felicity smiled a small smile, pulling herself away from her thoughts to address him. “I like Dr Elspeth. She’s knowledgeable and makes me feel comfortable. She’s got almost twenty years of experience, I’m sure she can handle my case just fine.”

“Felicity I just think we can’t be too careful with these things. Dr Sparks comes highly recommended,” Oliver coaxed gently.

Felicity placed a hand on his arm and patted him tenderly, her face looking determined. “You can’t control everything Oliver. It’s not like I’m choosing to give birth by a lake with just you as my helper and flowers in my hair. We can only do so much and make sensible choices. As for the rest of it, whatever happens will happen.” Felicity looked away as she said this and for the first time Oliver wondered if there was more going on in his wife’s big brain than the trepidation of being a first time mom. 

He didn’t dare say it, didn’t even feel like he should be thinking such thoughts but he couldn’t help wondering whether Felicity wanted this baby, their baby at all or whether Pookums was becoming a struggle for her. Would Felicity even care if she lost Pookums or would a rather complicated life changing event be resolved neatly for her if that were to happen. Oliver shuddered at the thought. This was Felicity, his Felicity who was caring, loving and joyous. How dare he think such thoughts about her.

***

“You’d be ecstatic if you were in my position wouldn’t you?” Felicity asked, her guilt once again kicking in.

“Er I think I’d have bigger problems to worry about if I were in your position. It would be a medical marvel for me to fall pregnant. I’d probably be looking into that before celebrating. Do I have a wife in this scenario?” Ray mused, as always wondering who the future Mrs Palmer could be. 

Despite her predicament Felicity smiled. Trust Ray to react in the most Ray-ish of ways. His little rants made things seem less grim.

“You know what I mean Ray. If you were married with a baby on the way, this would be a dream come true for you. It just…it makes me feel ungrateful for all that I have. I feel like I’m supposed to be happy and yet I can’t be. This is not what I imagined for myself.”

“I’m a lot older than you and have done almost everything I wanted to do career wise,” Ray reminded her gently, his demeanour changing from cheerful to serious. “You’re entitled to feel what you feel but I really think you should talk to Oliver. I thought you wanted to get married. You were so happy at the wedding and leading up to it. We’ve known each other for a long time and I feel like I would have suspected something if you didn’t want to marry Oliver.”

“That’s the worse thing about this. I feel like I can’t say anything to Oliver. He’s gotten everything he’s ever wanted while I feel like I’ve lost half of my future. I can’t ruin things for him. I didn’t want to get married at first but Oliver’s proposal took me by surprise and in that moment, because I loved him, I felt like I couldn’t say no. But I love him so much and I know he’s the only one for me so it felt like it was the right thing to do. And now with this baby…I help thinking that…that…” Felicity’s voice faltered. She wasn’t sure who she was trying to explain and justify to, Ray or herself.

“You think that if you stay quiet and go along with it, there will be a day when you’ll accept it and learn to be happy,” Ray finished for her. “Felicity you need to talk to Oliver. You’ve said you’re going to have this baby regardless and you may find peace with this turn of event in your life but why do you feel you need to do it alone? Talk to Oliver, tell him how you feel. At least then you won’t have to go around carrying this all by yourself. You’re stuck in this loop of quietly going along with things and letting Oliver live out his dream while you abandon yours. Tell him how you’re feeling. He loves you, he wouldn’t want you to feel like this.”

Ray’s words were partly true. Oliver did love her and he wouldn’t want her to feel like this. What Ray didn’t realize was that Oliver would most likely be unable to understand why she felt like this.       

“Doesn’t it feel like a lifetime ago when we were swapping DVDs and having dinner every Friday night? Or me lamenting to you for hours because I had inadvertently rejected Oliver Queen and was regretting it?” Felicity smiled wistfully. It had all gone by so quickly. It almost seemed like in a blink of an eye she had traded one life for a completely different one. There had been no amalgamation of the two.

“You’ve never been one to look back on the past with rose tinted glasses Felicity. That’s my specialty.” Ray left his seat and sat down beside her on the couch.

“Remember those terrible dates you used to go on once a blue moon? Remember when you and Barry tried to date each other? We had some great times and you will always be my best friend and Dr Who buddy but you found true love with Oliver. I’ve never seen you so utterly in love until you met Oliver. Do you know how rare that is? I feel like I’ve been looking for it all my life. Whatever turmoil you’re feeling right now I know you’ll get through it.” 

There it was. The Ray Palmer brand of positivity that Ray had in abundance. Seeing it in him made Felicity realize how mopey she had become. They were fairly similar in temperament once, even if Felicity had always been the slightly less exuberant of the two. Maybe it was the hormones but Ray’s speech highlighted how much she needed to find herself again and be the person she was before. The person Oliver fell in love with. 

Felicity leaned her head on Ray’s shoulder briefly and smiled. “Your relentless positive energy is actually working Ray. I do feel better about things.”

***

“This is nice,” Felicity smiled happily at Oliver. For what felt like a long time between the relentless hours she put in at QC and all the pre natal appointments and classes that Oliver insisted they attend, not to mention the general lethargy she had been feeling, they were finally able to find time to go out on a date together. Felicity watched the other patrons in the restaurant happily, taking in her surroundings. It was so exciting to finally stop feeling so sleepy all the time.

“We need to go on lots of dates. Lots and lots of dates before the baby arrives. And maybe a quick vacation before it arrives as well.”

“The dates I can manage but only if you promise me you won’t eat anything that I don’t approve of. And the vacation will have to be one that doesn’t involve flying. I don’t think you should be flying anywhere.” Oliver gave her another once over as if to check that nothing had happened to her and make sure that her condition had in no way deteriorated since they entered the restaurant. 

“I can’t believe I let you convince me to take you to a Japanese Restaurant,” he clucked disapprovingly. Felicity had pouted and cajoled, reminding him that Dr Wong said it was perfectly fine to eat sushi as long as it was at a clean establishment. Oliver was still very much uneasy about Felicity’s insistence on using Dr Wong and now to top it off the woman was telling his wife to go ahead and eat raw fish as long as it didn’t come from a seedy restaurant.

“You’re not eating sashimi. I draw the line at that.” He gave Felicity a stern look, which to his alarm, caused her to scuttle out of her seat and smother his face with lots of little kisses. 

“Oh look at you all worried. Now what did you get up to in your hey day before you met me? Let me live a little Oliver. Just a few pieces of aburi? It’s practically cooked and I’ve been craving it so badly. You’ve got to give me something to look forward to in life.” Felicity had the audacity to nuzzle his nose as she sat on his lap.

“Fe-li-ci-ty,” Oliver clucked disapprovingly. Felicity hadn’t been this bright or bubbly in ages and he didn’t want to be the one to ruin her mood, especially since that wretched doctor had told her she could eat sushi and Musashi was the most renowned Japanese restaurant in town. “No sashimi. I stand by that.” 

***

“We should talk maternity leave. I’ve cleared my calendar for a week before your due date and the month following that. I think you should finish up at the end of the second trimester. We don’t need the money. Let’s make sure you get as much rest as you can before Pookums arrives.”

“You’re really sold on the name Pookums aren’t you?” Felicity laughed. “I have been thinking about it actually. I think we should look at childcare options for when the baby is born. I spoke to Robert and he’s happy for me to work from home for the first few months. I’m planning to take the first month off completely. I’ve been told by everyone including Moira that nothing gets done with a baby around so I think we should hire a nanny to stay home with me while I work, that way I can keep an eye on things because I know you’ll freak out if we leave the baby with a stranger.”

She smiled and patted his hand as if that were the end of the discussion. “Oh and Oliver, I’m not taking three months off! I’ll be bored out of my brains. What on earth am I going to do sitting around at home for three months when the project is in full swing and I can still contribute?” 

Oliver blinked several times and stared at his wife. This was not how he imagined the conversation would go. He knew Felicity wasn’t thrilled about having Pookums the way he was but he thought she was starting to come around. At the very least he thought she’d care a bit more than this. Felicity loved her job despite all her frustrations with it but there was no way Oliver could have predicted that she was going to keep working when Pookums was so young.

“You’re…you’re going to continue working?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes Oliver I plan to continue working,” Felicity responded calmly, a slight sharpness creeping into her tone.

“I just thought with Pookums arriving that you would take a step back.”

“Are you taking a step back? Oliver we’ll be in the middle of my project. And I’ve never wanted to be a stay at home mom. You know that. You’ve known that about me for a long time.” Felicity swallowed the piece of sushi that she was chewing on and stared at him defiantly.

“Pookums will be so little. Can we really leave him…” Oliver trailed off, the look on Felicity’s face telling him everything he needed to know. She was set on this idea of a nanny to help out. “I was raised by nannies…I never wanted that for my son.”

“That’s why I proposed a compromise of working from home for a few months,” Felicity’s tone softened slightly. “I cannot stay home and take care of a baby full time Oliver. Maybe that would have been an option at some point in my life a few years from now but as it currently stands I cannot do it. I’ll go insane. I know your hang ups about nannies so if you want to take a step back and be a house husband I’m more than happy for you to take over but I’m telling you now I cannot do it. That’s one thing I am sure of.” 

Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at him pleadingly, willing him to understand where she was coming from. Oliver couldn’t deny it any longer. The notions and dreams he had of them giving Pookums an idyllic childhood, one that he didn’t have himself, were just notions. Felicity clearly saw things very differently to him and they were going to have to come to a compromise somehow. 

*** 

“No! Absolutely not,” Oliver snapped as he turned and glared at Felicity who looked completely taken back by his reaction. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Oliver realized this was the absolute worse way to handle the situation but at this point he didn’t care at all. He had been patient, he had held his tongue, and now here she was planning to run off on a trip to Russia with Palmer, leaving Pookum’s behind without a second thought.

“I wasn’t asking for your permission Oliver. I was doing what I thought was the mature thing and attempting to discuss it with you. Robert wants me on this trip. It’s the final step in this project that I’ve worked so hard on. Ray and I would like to see it through. I don’t want to leave the baby but it’s important for me to see this project through to the very end. I’ll be back in a week and we can Facetime everyday. The baby won’t remember any of this and be none the wiser that I left for a week when he or she was a baby.” Felicity’s voice was calm, except for the unmistakable tart edge to it. Oliver hadn’t seen her like this before. Oliver suddenly felt as if his mother’s words had suddenly come true. This was what Moira had tried to warn him against. The sheer stubbornness and refusal to back down for his sake, for their family’s sake.

“Pookums is always just the baby to you isn’t he?” Oliver responded bitterly. He felt like Felicity taking this trip was the last straw. He had supported her with her work from home notions, even started researching nannies and negotiating with his father to take time off. He had hoped that with his support and more time to get used to the pregnancy Felicity would soften her stance, develop some sort of fondness for the baby. Informing him of this trip to Russia with Palmer of all people felt like the ultimate slap in the face.

“Oliver the baby doesn’t have a name yet,” Felicity smiled at him in an attempt to lighten the mood however in his current state the smile irked him even more.

“Why do I feel like you wish there was no baby at all?” Oliver was acutely aware of how bitter he was but suddenly it was like a dam had burst. All the disappointment and resentment he felt towards Felicity herself and her friendship with Palmer came pouring out as he reached out to tear up the fragile fabric that was their marriage. 

“That’s what you secretly want isn’t it? Not that you’d even admit it to yourself. That’s why you’re constantly overworked and insist on eating sushi and all sorts of things you shouldn’t be eating. Somewhere there is a part of you that wishes Pookums didn’t exist so you’re doing everything risky that you can get away with just so maybe he won’t survive you. You’re planning trips to Russia like he doesn’t matter at all. If you manage to loose Pookums maybe you can drop me and reset your life with Palmer to see if it’ll make you happier.”

The instant he finished his tirade Oliver regretted his words. Instead of handling things in a mature way, he had reverted back to his previous behavior of indulgence. He indulged in saying those awful things to Felicity in the most terrible way possible because in that moment, he wanted the satisfaction of lashing out at her. 

Felicity’s face was pale as she stared at him like he had struck her. She said nothing, no retorts, no arguments. She merely stared at him, frozen in one spot until it seemed like she was looking right through him. Finally gathering his wits, Oliver sat down beside her and tentatively reached for her hand. The instant their skin touched Felicity yanked her hand away like his skin was burning hers. 

“Felicity. Felicity I am so sorry. I didn’t mean those things. I was upset about the prospect of you going on that business trip with Palmer and I lashed out.” He turned to make an attempt to plead with her, only to have Felicity scoot backwards, away from him to the edge of the sofa. 

“I think you did mean those things Oliver,” Felicity responded in a small quiet voice. “In your anger you finally revealed your true thoughts about everything, about me, about us.”

“Felicity…” Oliver pleaded but Felicity raised a hand to stop him and rose from the couch.

“I can’t do this anymore Oliver. I love you and you will always be the love of my life but I can’t do this anymore. You fell in love with me because I brought out the best in you and for a while that was true. But somehow along the way, something has been poisoned between us. Look at who you are right now Oliver. Look at who I’ve become. I think we need to let each other go so we can try and be the best versions of ourselves for this baby’s sake.”

“Felicity you don’t mean that. I love you. I’m so sorry for everything I said tonight.” He had to fix this somehow, he would give anything to fix this.

“I think it’s best if we separate for a while. I’ll let you know when the next prenatal appointment is so we can go together. I know you love our baby and I will never stand in the way of that. Once we’ve both had a chance to calm down we can work out what we need to do next. But you have my word Oliver I will never, never do anything to stand between you and the baby.”

She started for the bedroom. Oliver grabbed onto her arm, clinging desperately to her. Felicity stood frozen for a second. What had he done? How did they even reach this point where she froze at his touch?

“I need to go and pack a few things. Please let me go Oliver.”

“I’ll go Felicity. I’ll go.” He softened his voice as best as he could and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. “You’re pregnant, you shouldn’t be shuffling around with suitcases and luggage. If you want some space, I’ll go okay? You just stay here and I’ll go and pack and leave right away. Promise me you’ll stay here and not try to go anywhere else?”

Felicity’s body slumped slightly as she slowly nodded. Gently, so as not to startle her, he leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Call me if you need anything okay? Anytime at all. I would do anything for you.”

Felicity nodded silently. He kissed her forehead one more time and headed towards their bedroom to pack.

***

“Where’s Ollie?” Laurel marched in without even bothering to say hi to Tommy. She glanced around the apartment and scrunched her nose when her eyes fell on what appeared to be boxes full of baby items. There was a baby bath tub, some sort of a bouncy chair and a high chair, unassembled still in its box.

 “Ollie’s not here,” Tommy shrugged wondering if Laurel had always been this rude and briefly contemplated why on earth he had been in love with her for so many years. Maybe he had just been as blinded by her as she was by Ollie. Tommy saw things for what they were now and even accepted that Ollie had changed. They couldn’t continue doing what they were doing forever and truth be told Tommy was getting sick of it. Ollie hadn’t been the only one to leave him behind. Slowly, one by one, his other friends and acquaintances had begun to move on as well. It took away the sting of Ollie moving on first.

Tommy glanced at Laurel as she poked around at the baby items disagreeably. Laurel was someone who needed to move on. A change. Anything really. If there was one person in more dire straits than him in terms of growth and maturity it was Laurel. Oddly enough in their youth she had always appeared to be the stable and mature one in their group. Tommy could now recognize that it was all a farce and although Laurel hadn’t made foolish juvenile mistakes like the rest of them did in their youth, she was stuck in some perpetual time loop all by herself. 

“What’s all this for?” Laurel gestured toward the pile of baby items.

“Ollie’s been shopping for the baby. Got nowhere to store it so he’s using my living room as storage space.” 

This was going to be an interesting if not predictable conversation Tommy thought to himself. “He’s not home if you’re looking for him. He’s out trying to buy a cot today.”

 “What is wrong with him?” Laurel shook her head in disbelief.

“Well it’s not my style but I wouldn’t say there’s anything wrong with him. His kid is arriving n a few months. He does need all this stuff. Wish it wasn’t in my penthouse but he seems to know what he’s doing.” 

“So when’s the divorce?” Laurel asked, sinking into an armchair. 

“Never if Ollie has his way. He’s still holding out hope.” Tommy didn’t want to say anything more about his best friend’s relationship but he felt like Laurel should get a clear idea of where things stood before she got her hopes up again. It was a pattern with Laurel. And he thought he had been persistent.

“I knew there would be a divorce eventually but I guessed it would take longer than this. So Felicity getting knocked up killed their relationship. What happened? Ollie couldn’t cope?” She looked at Tommy expectantly waiting for him to spill every single detail he knew about Oliver and Felicity’s relationship.

“I don’t know much,” Tommy shrugged. “But I know Ollie loves Felicity and the baby more than life itself. He’s going to try and work it out.”

Tommy gave Laurel a gentle smile. This wasn’t going to work but he felt like he had to try. “Don’t you think it’s time you moved on too Laurel? Whether it’s by yourself or with someone else?” 

“Unlike you I don’t give up that easily,” Laurel smirked. “But then it’s probably a good thing you gave up. Ollie’s always been the one for me.” 

Tommy stared at her incredulously and contemplated whether he needed to say something to Ollie. Ultimately he decided against it. Ollie had his own issues he was trying to work on and Tommy doubt he would pay any attention to something he was told about Laurel anyway. It was all Felicity and the baby these days.

***

Felicity had always had a high pain threshold. In happier times she often joked with Oliver, that in order to wear heels as high as hers, she needed a high pain threshold. The topic would always come up when he urged her to get rid of the heels and settle for animal face flats instead (he was a fan of her panda flats). The high pain threshold, combined with the crazy hours she was putting in to finish a final part of the programming in QC’s new chip meant that she chose to ignore the niggling discomfort she felt over the course of the past few days. 

She dismissed the first signs of cramping, chalking it down to an unsettled stomach. The cramping persisted, getting a bit heavier until Felicity discovered some light spotting. She made an appointment with Dr Wong right away for that afternoon but things took a turn for the worse when the spotting grew heavy and the cramps worsened over the course of a few hours. 

Shakily Felicity picked up her phone to call Oliver praying that he wasn’t in a meeting. The phone rang once before he picked up. In that moment Felicity managed a small smile by herself despite all the horrid thoughts that were churning around in her head. Oliver had picked up right away. He still did care very much just like he said he always would and he was going to be there for her.

“Felicity what’s wrong? What’s happened? Where are you?” Oliver didn’t bother with any greetings. They had been cordial over the past few weeks and she had texted him the appointment time for her consult with the obstetrician, never choosing to call. Once at Dr. Wong’s office Felicity had been polite but made a conscious effort to guard herself from him. Oliver must have predicted there was something wrong for her to ring him like this.

“Felicity?” His voice rang out from the speaker, his tone laced with panic and he was starting to sound shrill.

“Oliver, I’ve started spotting heavily and cramping. I…I’m about to catch a cab to the hospital. I…I just thought I should tell you…” Felicity’s voice drifted off.

 _Come over and take care of me. Save me. Make me feel better_ , were all things she wanted to say but didn’t have enough courage to. Instead she continued rather blankly, “I’ll text you when there is some news from the hospital.”

“Felicity do not go anywhere, I’m running over right now to drive you to hospital. I’d call an ambulance but I think they might take too long. You’re in your office right?” She could hear him taking deeper more frequent breaths on the other end of the line, an indication that he was sprinting off to find her.

“Yes in my office,” she whispered, a sense of relief flooding over her. If he could just hold her, even for a second. She needed to feel his arms around her.

Within a minute Oliver burst through her office door and gathered her into his arms, peppering soft little kisses all over her face. “It’s okay baby, it’s going to be okay no matter what I promise. I’m just going to pick you up and carry you to the car okay honey?”

Wordlessly Felicity nodded. Things may never be all right again but at least Oliver was here with her.

***

“Hey Dr Wong says Pookums is going to be fine. Don’t cry honey. Don’t cry,” Oliver crooned softly, rocking Felicity in his arms as she sobbed into his chest.

She had been ordered on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy and was to be monitored weekly to ensure that her cervix didn’t shorten any further.

“This is all my fault,” Felicity sobbed quietly, as a fresh lot of tears ran down her face. Oliver reached over for a tissue and tried his best to mop up all the tears on her cheeks. “I did this. You were right. There was a part of me that didn’t want Pookums so I ate all this crappy stuff and worked insane hours. Now he’s going to be taken away from us.”

“Felicity I was being a jerk,” Oliver protested. “I was a jealous dick so I said the nastiest things I could think of. None of this is your fault. Sushi does not cause the cervix to shorten.”

He held a tissue over her nose, pinched it every so lightly and instructed her to blow which Felicity did obediently. Oliver wiped her nose and continued. “If you keep insisting this is your fault then you can also argue that because I made some terrible jackass comments to you, it caused you a great deal of stress which led to your complications.”

Felicity opened her mouth to protest but was silenced by Oliver who kissed her before she could say anything. “I love you. Pookums is going to be fine. Let’s not play the blame game. It doesn’t do us or Pookums any good. Let me move back in and take care of you.” 

“I love you and I love Pookums. You come home with us.” Felicity’s eyes glistened as she threatened to burst into tears again. 

“And you have both of us. Look at me Felicity. We’re going to be a family, you Pookums and I.”

Felicity let out a teary little laugh. “We really need to discuss names. I can’t believe you’ve been running around calling him Pookums for months now.”

“He is my Pookums,” Oliver declared emphatically. “I’ll take you home tonight. I’ll book a small van in the morning to move my stuff from Tommy’s.”

“Van?” Felicity perked up, her intrigue in the situation making her temporarily forget how upset she was feeling. “What do you need a van for? You only had two suitcases when you moved out.” 

“I…uhh…accumulated some stuff along the way,” he answered sheepishly and a bit tentatively. 

“What kind of stuff?” Felicity laughed. Whatever had Oliver managed to get up to in the few weeks he had been crashing at Tommy’s place?

“Just some baby stuff. Bouncers, high chairs, cots.” He settled on adopting a fake it till you make it attitude, giving Felicity a haughty look as if it were perfectly normal to accumulate these things while staying at a single friend’s house. 

“You bought all sorts of baby gear and stashed it in Tommy’s bachelor pad?” Felicity dissolved into a fit of giggles at the image of Tommy bringing home a girl to have her see a cot in his living room.

“I thought maybe I’d lost you forever and it really messed with my head. Buying all that baby stuff made me feel like the life I wanted was still within my grasp. It was my coping mechanism. We can exchange it all if you don’t like the design or brands I bought.”

Felicity didn’t say anything, instead opting to pull his face closer to hers for a long deep kiss. It was a kiss of love, of forgiveness and of the promise to start over again.

 

 

 


	11. 2017/2012/2013

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halloooo
> 
> Sorry for the long wait between updates! I didn't want to keep you guys in a lurch so I tried to cover as much ground in this chapter as possible. It then took me a while to write everything in a way that I was happy with.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> ***
> 
> Thank you for all your comments on the previous chapter!
> 
> Fun fact: While forming the outline for this story I was obsessed with a certain Chinese series. In particular there was this ONE scene that I LOVED and wanted to copy for my Olicity story. So I planned this entire story and started writing it just so I could get to write this one scene and make you all read it. The scene was supposed to be in the last update (chapter 10). Alas when it came to the crunch I found that it didn't fit the story at all and was completely over dramatic and indulgent so I couldn't insert it like I wanted! 
> 
> Lol now I feel ridiculous! All of this work for one scene I didn't even end up using!

**2017**

The alley was dark, poorly lit with a slightly damp feeling. It was a cliché really and Rene wondered why he was even here at all. He had long left that life behind him thanks to the deal he struck with the devil. But as all deals with the devil go, there was always a price bigger than the one you thought you initially agreed to and here he was meeting Laurel Lance for fear that she would unleash her brand of insanity in front of Zoe.

They lived the civilized life now, he and Zoe. Zoe went to a private school, he volunteered on sports days, hired extra tutors for her and drove her around to a bevy of extracurricular activities after school. He finally had his life together and could give Zoe everything she deserved.

“What am I going to have to do for you to get the message and stay away from me Hoss?” This was her second attempt to meet with him. He had to make it stop.

“It’s very simple. I asked you to do a job four years ago and you failed miserably at it. I want you to deliver what you promised me. A dead Felicity Smoak. Or Felicity Michaels. Or whatever reincarnation she comes back as. I want you to get rid of her once and for all.”

Laurel spoke calmly, her face wearing its trademark smirk, although her tone and demeanour seemed to convey no particular emotion. Apart from the smirk, which seemed to be the only expression she was capable of, Rene could possibly believe that Laurel actually harbored no specific ill will against Felicity Smoak whom she seemed to view as an obstacle she needed to get rid of. Just a girl Oliver Queen had inconveniently fallen in love with and was devoted to. If Rene had merely been a spectator, read about this in the paper and wasn’t involved in the debacle himself, he’d even go so far as to say he found Laurel’s psychology behind her obsession with Oliver Queen fascinating.

“You need help Hoss! And not by me doing your bidding again. You need to see someone to fix your head. Mayor Queen has moved on with someone else and I don’t know who she is but it ain’t you Hoss so you need to just stop all of this. It ain’t healthy!” He spoke the words earnestly. Laurel really did need help. How anyone could go on living like this for years was beyond him. Why did no one in her family register her obsession with Mayor Queen or did she hide it well.

“We had a deal. A deal which you failed to honour. Now all I want is for you to kill Felicity like you said you did four years ago when you happily collected my money.” Again she spoke with the calm eerie look.

“Look Hoss, just to be clear I’m not killing anyone anymore. What the hell are you thinking? I’m not your personal hit man. You keep ringing me, showing your face around my property again and I’ll make sure we go down together. I know you think I’ve got a lot to lose but you’re a well-known lawyer in Starling whose daddy is the Police Captain. I made the mistake doing your bidding four years ago and I’m not making the same mistake again.” He meant every word he said. He was a different person now to the scared, desperate fellow of the past. Back then he had seen it as his one and only chance to gain custody of his daughter, break the poverty cycle and give Zoe the life she deserved.

“Are you really telling me that you’re not scared of me going to the police? I’ll make sure you rot in a cell somewhere and you’ll never see your daughter again,” Laurel threatened, advancing towards him.

“I’ll bring you down with me Hoss. Don’t think I won’t do it. We’ll go down together if it comes to that.” Rene took a step forward to match her. There was no fear in his voice. It was liberating to finally let go of all his fear and not be scared of this lunatic anymore. “They might not believe my word against yours. After all I’m trash and you’re a successful, middle class hotshot lawyer. But you know who will believe me Laurel? Mayor Queen. Wonder how Mayor Queen would react to finding out who had his beloved wife killed?”

Laurel paled visibly and took a step back. Rene continued, taking delight in the fact that he had hit her (metaphorically) where it hurt the most. “You may not end up going to jail after all but what is a life without the hope of reuniting with Mayor Queen one day? Because even you, crazy as you are can’t concoct a delusion where Mayor Queen would forgive you for having his beloved wife killed.”

“Don’t you ever contact me again Laurel. I may have a lot to lose but I’d wager you have just as much as me. I swear to god I’ll bring you down with me.” He turned around, not giving her a second glance. He had only walked a few steps away when the shots rang out one after another. Rene’s body dropped to the ground.

***

Laurel stared down at the gun in her hand, unable to determined the moment when she decided to pull the trigger. He was threatening her, threatening to expose her to Oliver and she knew she had to stop it somehow. It had been so easy just to point and shoot. It was like she was on autopilot.

She stared at Rene’s lifeless body. Why had things gotten so complicated? She loved Oliver. She just wanted to be Mrs. Oliver Queen, wanted everything that came with it. It was what she deserved. She had been there first, she knew him from when they were younger, she had put up with all the other girls (one of whom was her sister) and she had done it all knowing that one day she would come out on top. Until Felicity. Felicity was the anomaly she hadn’t accounted for.

Laurel supposed that if anyone knew the full story they’d think she harboured some sort of rage or hatred towards Felicity. She didn’t really. Felicity was pretty, perky and somewhat charming in an awkward way if Laurel were to make an honest assessment. Felicity’s only crime was that Ollie was utterly obsessed with her. Commitment, marriage, babies. Felicity turned on all those switches for Oliver and he couldn’t wait to run off and do all those things with Felicity. With Laurel he had simply just run.

Laurel found Felicity was even useful in that she had provided the ultimate proof that Oliver had the ability to commit. He even managed to raise that kid on his own, juggling fatherhood and his political career, all while tragically mourning his dead love. Over the years he had become everything Laurel hoped he could be. She couldn’t give it all up now. She simply had to remove Felicity once and for all. It wasn’t personal. It was just unfortunate.

Shaking slightly she shoved the gun into her handbag and rummaged for her phone.

“Daddy,” she sobbed when her father picked up on the other end. “Daddy something terrible has happened. I need your help Daddy.”

***

“Jesus Laurel what have you done,” Quentin muttered as he stared at Rene’s lifeless body on the ground. “What did you get yourself into? How am I supposed to help you Laurel?” He knew what he had to do. She was his Laurel, his intense, determined, high achieving child. He couldn’t let her entire life unravel because of this.

“Things…things have just been tough lately, I’ve been feeling like I can’t cope so I went back to Rene for some pills. They made things more bearable. But then he wanted money and he threatened to expose me,” Laurel let out a series of sobs as she spoke.

“I don’t know what happened Daddy. He just kept saying how screwed up my life would be if everyone knew, how bad it would look for you to have an addict for a daughter and then the next thing I knew he was dead. I shot him Daddy. I made things so much worse. I’m a murderer. It’s all going to be over for me.”

“You need help Laurel. If you’d come to me earlier, we wouldn’t be here right now,” Quentin’s eyes shifted from the dead body, to his daughter’s tear stained face and back again. “This fellow looks familiar. This the guy you asked me to speak to the judge about a few years ago? You told me some sob story about his daughter. Were you getting drugs from him back then too?”

“I was but I managed to control it all on my own. That’s why I thought I would be ok this time. Before he tried to blackmail me. I didn’t want to worry you, I thought I could overcome it.” She shed another flurry of tears, hoping her father would buy in on the act. He never could say no to her when she turned on the waterworks.

“Laurel if we somehow get through this I’m going to need you to let me check you into a clinic where you can get help,” Quentin sighed.

“I’ll do anything you say Daddy. I know what a disaster I’ve caused. I should have gotten help long ago.”

***

“This can’t be happening,” Felicity muttered, her fingers typing away furiously, trying her hardest and fastest to dig deeper into the mystery that lay before her. After a hard won battle to get Lyla to stand down, she and John were due to pay Rene Ramirez a visit.

Felicity had diligently attempted to track his movements, hoping to find the perfect opening for her and John. As it turns out Rene had not showed up for work in three days. A few clicks and Felicity let out a small gasp as she read the screen before her.

“Dead,” John confirmed to no one in particular. He didn’t appear to be too surprised by what had happened. “Lyla’s right on the money with this one. I thought there was potential for it, didn’t think it would happen so fast myself.”

“I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this John. I didn’t want revenge. I just want her out of our lives and for my son to be safe.” Felicity stared at the screen again, taking in the information that was in front of her. Rene was listed as having suffered from two gunshot wounds, during what was a drug deal gone bad, signed off by Quentin Lance himself.

They had almost gotten away with it. It would have been the perfect crime had Felicity not known exactly what she was searching for. Who would suspect Laurel having anything to do with Rene? Further to that who would ever go digging to inspect the whereabouts of the Police Captain, specifically on the day some random low life died from a drug deal gone bust.

Quentin and Laurel had both been over confident and hence sloppy. The attempt to delete the incriminating footage placing Laurel with Rene had been a failure (Felicity was able to recover the footage within minutes) and left a nice digital footprint leading to Quentin’s computer.

Laurel’s murder of Rene had given Felicity the link she needed to irrefutably tie Laurel to the murder of her past self.

“You’ve got footage of her shooting him. It won’t take much for someone to investigate and link her to your murder. To the world Felicity Smoak is dead so Laurel will finally go down for your murder as well.” John pulled his chair closer to hers and tilted his head, giving her a scrutinizing look.

“You do realize how much publicity this will garner? The Mayor’s beloved wife, murdered by an insane ex girlfriend from his past. I may not have lived in this city before but right after you told me about your ready made family, the first thing I discovered in my recon was Oliver’s legendary love for his wife. Throw in an identical new love interest and you’re going to have all sorts of conspiracy theories (not that they aren’t true), and fascination from the citizens of Starling.” John paused for a moment; a look of hesitation crossed his face. “I’m not normally an advocate of this Felicity but Lyla has a point. There is a way to handle this that would be easier on all of you.”

“John I can’t…” One look at John and she knew that he understood. Like Lyla he wanted what he thought was best for her but he understood where her head was. “I wish I could because a mother always does everything to protect her child. I’ve been grappling with this ever since we found out it was Laurel but I want to be the mother Jonas deserves and if I take that course of action, then I’m not sure I could look my son in the eye.”

John didn’t say anything; he simply waited for her to continue. Oliver may have been her great love but John really was a kindred spirit.

“I think I know of a way to end all this with minimal fanfare. There will still be interest, that can’t be avoided but we can bypass all the scandal a trial will create. I’m going to need your support and for you to have my back on this John.”

John smiled at her affectionately. How far they had come from her being the unconscious girl he had pleaded with Lyla to hide for him. “You know Felicity, the day you woke up from your coma was the biggest hurdle I ever had to cross with you. Whatever it is you need from me you’ve got it.”

***

“This is insane Felicity. What are you going to do? Confront her? What’s to stop her from pulling a gun on you and shooting without warning? We have to call Lyla and end this.” Oliver stared at her with a look of utter disbelief on his face and for a brief moment Felicity regretted her decision to tell him before acting. But they were a team and he had lost her once. As confident as she was and as much as she dreaded dealing with his protests, Felicity knew there was no way she could go ahead without at least warning him of what she intended to do.

“You’re the mayor of Starling Oliver. You can’t just put in a call to my friend to deal with someone,” Felicity spoke in a whisper.

“It’s not like we woke up one day and decided we wanted to order a hit on someone we didn’t like Felicity. Laurel hired someone to kill you. She effectively did kill you once since there are memories you’ll never get back. Then she shot a man in cold blood to presumably cover up her crime. This has gone on long enough. One of my big regrets is that I was always indifferent to Laurel and her crazy. There must have been signs of an obsession. I just never caught on because she became so insignificant over the years and that was what led to your death.”

He sat down on the bed, shoulders slumped and buried his heading his hands. “If I’d been more aware, more alert, we wouldn’t be where we are today.”

“Oliver you can’t blame yourself because an unstable woman tried to kill me. How could you have protected me even if you suspected she was crazy? It’s not like you could have rung up the police and told them I think my crazy ex from long ago wants to kill my wife. You need to arrest her. Don’t do this please. Let me fix this.” Felicity sat down next to him and tried to cradle him in her arms, their height difference providing a bit of a challenge but she mastered it nevertheless.

“Felicity years ago we had a huge fight about you going off to Russia. We even separated for a while because I was a real controlling ass about it. But you know how Russia turned out and now you’re telling me to give you my blessing to confront Laurel.” Oliver paused and smiled a sad smile. “I’d give anything for this to be a simple disagreement about a business trip.”

“Oliver we were different people back then. We both went through our own crucibles four years ago. We’re made of sterner stuff now. John will have my back the whole time. The man moved heaven and earth to save me once upon a time, he’s not going to let anything happen to me.”

“So is this my final trial? To build up the courage to let you go off again? And yours is to confront your killer?” Oliver kissed the top of her head. He knew he had to chalk it down and let her go again one more time. He had to trust her. She was asking the world of him but he knew he had to do it for Felicity’s sake.

“Something like that,” Felicity looked at him so earnestly and in that moment Oliver knew this was what she needed to finally come to terms with her attack. From the day he and Jonas rushed to claim her back into their lives, Felicity had pushed aside all and any trauma she felt, instead choosing to focus on the husband and son she barely knew. She had given herself wholly to them and whatever fear it was he felt over losing her; he needed to conquer that fear for Felicity’s sake. Felicity deserved to be able to extinguish that traumatic and violent chapter of her past on her own terms.

Oliver held her face in his hands and kissed her softly. “You go get the justice you deserve from Laurel. We’ll always be here for you.”

***

**2012**

“Where should we go for lunch tomorrow?” Felicity asked enthusiastically as she hauled herself into different positions, trying to get comfortable with the giant bump.

“You’re picking lunch venues after that giant serve of pasta and garlic bread you ate for dinner?” Oliver chuckled in amusement. Felicity had been allowed off bed rest for the last two months and she was making the most of it, right up to their due date it seemed. Oliver couldn’t help internally panicking whenever she demanded he shuffle her around on dates at various different venues but the silver lining was that she was working less these days, telling him she wanted to make the most of her freedom while she still had it.

“Pookums is due on Friday. This could be our last lunch together alone,” Felicity said thoughtfully, her face looking worried once again. She was slowly making peace with their impending parenthood but some days the thought of their new addition put her in sheer panic mode. They had to accommodate this helpless, crying little critter. How were they going to cope? They were slowly headed towards what Felicity thought was a good place and now an unpredictable little bundle was going to be thrown into the mix.

“I don’t think it will be all that bad honey. We’ll get used to it. You’ll get used to it. We’ll find a happy balance that will work for the three of us.”

Felicity sniffled, having no idea when she started getting teary in the first place. It felt like the end of her life as she knew it was approaching and no matter what she told herself, she couldn’t quite make peace with the mystery of it all. Her only consolation was this time; she tried her best to communicate with Oliver whenever she felt unsure about things and despite knowing that he wasn’t completely happy with her decision to work from home pretty much right away, he was supportive and would often try to talk her down from the ledge so to speak.

“Come here you,” Oliver rolled to her side and pulled her into his arms, knowing full well by now that her belly was fairly unwieldy and once she was down, she had only two options, to roll left or right. “Don’t cry okay. If you work yourself up Pookums might decide to arrive early. You try to go to sleep and tomorrow I will take you anywhere you want.”

***

“It’s been a while since that night you decided you wanted lunch here and Jonas decided to arrive a few hours later foiling our plans,” Oliver smiled as he tucked the pram neatly into the corner of the discreet table they had been given. They contemplated leaving Jonas at home with Raisa but ultimately decided they wanted to take him out and about for a bit. Lunch would be the quickest and fastest option. With a bit of luck he’d stay asleep for the entire meal. If not they had a plan. Well Oliver had a plan. Oliver was never without a plan when it came to juggling Jonas.

“Better late than never,” Felicity smiled back. She was tired and the fact that they’d made it out of the house was a small miracle in itself (who knew you had to pack so many things for little infants) but somehow this felt like a win. They had managed to get dressed, look like two decent clean humans with a clean baby and were out in public.

They hailed down a waiter and gave their orders as quickly as possible, ignoring the surprised look on the young man’s face as he took their orders. This was their first rodeo at a fancier restaurant but it wasn’t their first rodeo eating out with Jonas. Felicity had googled the menu last night for them to diligently peruse and pick out their food. They had learned that the key to eating out with a baby was to find the most efficient ways to cut down on wasted time. Anytime spent waiting for anything was wasted time and although Jonas was an excellent and predictable sleeper, this was only true when he slept in his cot. Out in public there was no telling when he might wake up and demand attention.

“Part of me wants him to wake up so he can look as his surroundings,” Felicity spoke quietly. It was second nature for her to speak quietly these days, Ray had laughed at her when she began conducting all her conference calls in the same low, even tone.

“Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll wake up at the end of our meal. We can take him out and let him look around for a bit before feeding him,” Oliver suggested hopefully. The nappy bag held five different toys, each one amusing Jonas for approximately five minutes plus the novelty factor of the restaurant. They’d be relatively ok if he woke up towards the end of the meal.

“Whatever did you do before he came along Oliver? What did you spend your time planning?” Felicity teased. Oliver had read every book there was about baby rearing and had Jonas on a strict (but kind he had reiterated several times) schedule. Felicity had no idea if their son was a good sleeper at night because he was a good sleeper at night or because Oliver diligently had him in a routine since birth. Whatever it was she was thankful Jonas slept at night. He could be a terror during the day but at 7.30pm every night he went down like a dream and Felicity found that she even had time to code.

“I was thinking the other day, no matter how tired I am, he makes me so happy. You make me so happy. I didn’t know I wanted all this and if anyone had tried to rope me into this life a few years ago I would have boarded the Queen’s Gambit so fast and sailed far far away. But this is everything I’ve ever wanted with you.” Oliver took her hand and squeezed it gently. “I know this wasn’t the life you envisaged for yourself. I…I hope it hasn’t been too bad and that you’re doing ok.”

Felicity got out of her seat and softly padded over to Oliver (padding around quietly, even in heels was another skill she had acquired after motherhood), giving him an enthusiastic kiss but keeping it PG enough for the general public. “I’m happy Oliver. I didn’t think I would be but I am.”

She meant it and she hoped he believed her. Felicity knew Oliver was still insecure when it came to her feelings about their current life. Oliver felt like he got everything he wanted but lived in the constant fear that his dream come true was not so idyllic for Felicity and if she were to be completely fair, Felicity could understand why he would think this. She hadn’t exactly jumped for joy at the prospect of motherhood and they had been at different stages in their lives in terms of what they wanted from each other. Still Jonas was given to them and they were gradually meeting in the middle somewhere.

***

“The more time I spend with her, the more I realise she has this very deadpan sense of humour that takes some getting used to. Combine that with my tendency not to take anything seriously and half the time the jokes on me…” Sara stopped mid sentence as she saw Laurel staring at the table in the far corner of the restaurant. Her heart sank. She knew her sister and knew what that look meant. Of all the places in Starling, Sara couldn’t fathom why they would run into Ollie and Felicity at this restaurant. She had deliberately chosen this restaurant because it was one of the ones Laurel approved of and she had been trying to keep her sister in good humor these days, especially since the chapter with Ollie had well and truly closed for Laurel.

Sara had visited Ollie and Felicity once at their home, bringing her good wishes and a gift for Jonas. Felicity had been lovely; Ollie was warm and welcoming up until he informed her that she could only peer at the baby from a distance if she couldn’t prove that she had an updated whooping cough vaccine. Felicity had smiled apologetically and told her that the entire Queen clan, plus Tommy and Raisa all went to get whooping cough shots updated prior to Jonas being born, on Oliver’s orders. Ollie had taken to fatherhood like a duck to water and Sara left that day vowing that she was going to make sure Laurel would never witness Ollie’s new found love.

She looked on in dismay as Laurel watched Ollie who was balancing Jonas on his lap and enticing him with a toy dotingly, while stuffing down mouthfuls of pasta as fast as he could. Occasionally he paused to say something to Felicity and flash her a dopey grin.

The look on Laurel’s face was unreadable. Her sister wore an absolutely blank expression as she continued to stare at the happy trio who were oblivious to her, refusing to take her eyes off them. Sara decided to say something when Ollie paid the bill and proceeded to strap the infant to his chest using one of those baby-wearing contraptions. He pulled Felicity in for a kiss before they headed out of the restaurant, Oliver pushing the empty pram with Jonas strapped to his front. It was quite a sight to behold. Sara would have found it incredibly amusing if not for Laurel also witnessing the scene.

“Laurel…” Sara spoke, desperately wracking her brain to think of something comforting to say.

“It’s ok, I’m ok,” Laurel snapped at her quickly before pasting a stony smile on her face and turning back to her food. “Let’s keep eating, the food’s getting cold.”

Taking Laurel’s cue, Sara turned back to her meal. As hard as it was for Laurel to witness Ollie’s Happily Ever After, a small part of Sara hoped that maybe, just maybe, this would allow her to move on and never look back.

***

**2013**

Laurel smiled to herself as she scanned the article in the paper. So Robert Queen was going to send his darling daughter in law to Russia with Ray Palmer as QC’s representative. After years of threats, pleading, lecturing and pushing for Ollie to settle down he had finally done what his parents wanted. Ollie married a girl who was everything Robert would have ordered from the wife catalogue for his son. Laurel tensed slightly as she stared at the picture of the pretty yet very brainy looking Felicity Smoak. That could have and would have been her. It was really very unfortunate and inconvenient that Ollie found his one true love. Felicity wouldn’t have to die if she had married anyone else or better still stayed single and worked on her career. The article mentioned that she was quitting the commercial arm of QC to focus on the development of medical software with the hopes of contributing to bettering the lives of those who were ill. Felicity Smoak was apparently as angelic as she looked.

Glancing at the happy smiling blonde’s face one more time, Laurel picked up her phone and dialed Rene Ramirez’s number. It was time to call in that favour he owed her for helping him get his daughter back.

***

“Hellooo are you packed for Russia?” Felicity bounded into Ray’s office. “I have coats, soooo many coats and hats galore. Are you going to rock a faux fur cap too?”

“Felicity,” Ray greeted her with noticeably less exuberance than usual.

“Hey what’s up?” Felicity asked, looking at him curiously. He looked slightly nervous, uneasy even.

“I’ve decided not to go to Russia with you. You can handle it on your own and let’s face it you were the main vision behind this project. We even ended up going with your design. I just executed your vision with my technical knowledge. I think you deserve to go and see this thing through on your own. Let everyone know that this was your baby. Your other baby. Besides Jonas. And remember how much of a headache this baby caused you too. But then you raised it and it grew into a fully fledged successful project.” Ray beamed at the last sentence and Felicity could see a glimpse of his normal chirpy self, which highlighted his earlier peculiar behavior even more.

“Ray as CEO for Palmer Tech and after having a huge involvement in this project I can’t fathom why you would suddenly refuse to go to Russia with me. Surely the Palmer Tech board is going to be livid that you’re letting QC dominate the spotlight. I don’t see how you think you can get away with not going.” She paused and took a moment to scrutinize his face. There was something Ray wasn’t telling her. This was Ray. He couldn’t lie even if his life depended on it. “Ray what’s going on?”

“Nothing! You go, do your thing and dazzle everyone while wearing your cute hats and coats. And then go eat lots of chicken kiev or something! I have complete faith that you’ll make sure everything is in order.” The more Ray protested the easier it was for Felicity to spot that he was lying. Or rather doing a terrible job at trying to conceal things from her.

“Are you avoiding taking a trip with me?” Felicity blurted out. One look at his face gave her the answer she needed. “Oh my gosh you are, aren’t you? You gave up on seeing through a huge joint project for Palmer Tech because you’re scared of upsetting my marriage.”

“Felicity I love you, in the brotherly-est, hey is that even a word, of ways. You know that. And I was there when you guys separated and I saw how upset you were. You told me yourself that Oliver had issues with our friendship. You guys are doing it tough trying to raise a young child right now and your marriage is just getting back on track. Do you really think spending a week away on a business trip alone with me is good optics as far as Oliver is concerned.”

Felicity knew Ray had a point; however there was a part of her that wanted to believe Oliver had grown after everything they had been through during her pregnancy and that he was now more secure about their relationship.

“My marriage shouldn’t interfere with your business decisions,” she said softly.

“If I didn’t have faith that you could do the job just as well as I could there is no way I’d be staying back regardless of the state of your marriage. I just don’t feel like it is necessary for me to cause additional strain on your marriage when I have a million things that I need to do in Starling anyway. You’ll be taking on my workload and doing me a favour.” He grinned and slung an arm around her shoulder. “Besides you’re my best friend and project partner. You’re not going to pull a fast one over me for QC’s benefit.”

“The sad thing is I actually think you and Oliver would get along if you spent more time together,” Felicity said wistfully. She and Oliver had, had many honest conversations since their short separation but the one thing Oliver couldn’t seem to get over was his feeling of insecurity towards her friendship with Ray.

“Give it time. Oliver just needs time to trust that I haven’t been secretly in love with you all these years and am waiting for you to run off with me one day. When I find the future Mrs. Palmer I’m expecting to go on many double dates with you guys.” He gave her a big bear hug. “Stay warm in Russia and I’ll see you when you get back.”

***

“Just checking in to tell you I’ve landed,” Felicity’s face popped up onscreen. “And to complain that I’m cold. And that I miss my boys already.”

Jonas immediately recognized his mother and clapped his chubby little arms in delight. “Maaaammaaaaa,” he squealed in delight. At nine months old his vocabulary consisted of just a few words with “Maaaaammaaa” and “Daaaaaddaaaaa” being the two main ones.

“Hiiiiii Little Man,” Felicity cooed on the other end. “How you faring big handsome daddy?” she asked Oliver with a twinkle in her eye. “Jonas being good for you?”

“Your boys miss you Felicity. But we’re doing just fine. We can’t wait for you to come home.” His shoulders slumped a little as he watched her face onscreen. God he missed her so much already. He missed her energy and brightness. The way she lit up a room. Seeing her on the other side of the screen only amplified how bland his world was without her.

“You’ll have me back in a week,” Felicity smiled softly at Oliver, picking up on the fact that he was feeling down. “I’m starving so I’m going to head out to find something to eat, food on the plane was terrible. How about I call you in a few hours Oliver after you put Jonas to bed?”

“I’d like that,” Oliver smiled. He always missed being away from her, even when he was the one going on business trips but their long chats on the phone always helped take the edge off a bit.

“Maaaammaaaaaa,” Jonas squealed again in delight, bouncing up and down in front of the screen.

“I love you Little Man. Be good for Daddy and I’ll bring you a Russian toy when I get back. Good night Little Man.” Felicity blew a flurry of kisses and hearty smooches across the screen.

Jonas waved excitedly at her. “Byeeeeeeeeee Maaaammaaaaaa. Byeeeeeeeeee.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost at the end of another one *sniffles*
> 
> On that note I NEED to find Ray a wife!


	12. 2007/2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiiiii
> 
> I did it!!!! I finished it!!!! Yay!!!!
> 
> I hope the ending lives up to your expectations and THANK YOU very much for reading and going along on this journey with me.
> 
> Always a bit sad to finish another story but I have a new one in the works!
> 
> ***
> 
> EXTRA NOTE FROM YOUR VERY AMATEUR FANFIC WRITER
> 
> One of my readers added some excellent comments about some extra stuff that she wanted to know. As I have already published this chapter I feel kinda weird pulling it suddenly so I will add a revised version with a note when I have time. So if you want to wait for extra content I suggest you DON'T read this chapter for now and wait until I add a note about updated content. It doesn't change the ending just adds some extra viewpoints! 
> 
> Hehe this is what I get for having no betas and running a one woman shop (with the husband for consults every now and then)!

Felicity pushed her shopping cart and paused in front of the dried goods aisle before lifting her eyes to get a good look at Laurel. Laurel. The woman who had stolen four years of her life was calmly going about her business selecting what appeared to be a mix of pasta and pasta sauces, placing each item methodically into her cart. To anyone they were just two average working women on a grocery run in the evening. Not two women embroiled in a history of murder and now, retribution.

Felicity glanced around the vast aisle; feeling reassured that she had disabled the cameras. Tomorrow the footage would show Laurel grocery shopping alone. Felicity was no amateur. She took a breath to gather herself before heading towards Laurel. 

“Good Evening Laurel,” Felicity greeted the other woman in a calm even voice with a smile on her face. For a brief moment Felicity wondered how her past self would have tackled this moment. If she remembered her past would she feel differently right now? Perhaps it was her inability to recall anything about her past life that was giving her the strange sense of calm. That and the many years spent under John and Lyla’s tutelage she gathered.

“Picking up a few things after a long day at work?” Felicity continued as Laurel stared at her, seemingly frozen on the spot. The other woman did not look fearful, more like she was witnessing something surreal.

“Don’t you remember me? Felicity, we met at Moira’s house.” Felicity took a step forward and extended her hand. “Felicity Smoak, by the way. But you knew that already didn’t you Laurel?”

Laurel’s face remained frozen as she took a step back, bumping into the shelf behind her. Felicity smiled brightly at her and continued. “It’s a good thing we ran into each other today Laurel. Gives me a chance to tell you that I worked it out. You know, how you tried to kill me and all. And how you killed Rene Ramirez to cover up your crime. And then your father helped you cover it up. You stole four years from us Laurel. One day my son woke up and his mother never returned.” 

Felicity paused, her voice was starting to shake a little as she could not help but cast her mind to what it would have been like for baby Jonas to wait and slowly forget that his “Mama” had even existed, only ever able to imagine her from the stories and photos that Oliver showed him. She blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill and continued, tapping into all the rage she did not know existed within her. She was going to make Laurel pay. If not for herself then for Jonas and Oliver. For everything they had to go through in the last four years. 

“I’m here to tell you that unless you go to the police and confess to killing Rene first thing tomorrow I will unleash the tape of you shooting Rene in cold blood to the general public and also the evidence that your father tried to cover it up for you.”

“You’re bluffing,” Laurel had managed to compose herself and was now glaring at Felicity, pointing her chin at her defiantly. “You don’t have anything to prove anything against me. I’m a respectable lawyer in this city and my dad is the Police Captain. If you think I’m going to take this lying down…”

“I came back with a whole new attitude and a new set of skills Laurel,” Felicity interrupted her, pushing her cart a little closer to Laurel. She gave the other woman a long hard gaze before continuing, “We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way. I’m just here to tell you what your options are. It’s your choice whether you want to take your father down with you or not. If I don’t get word of your confession by 9 am tomorrow morning I’ll take it that you’ve made your decision to do things the hard way.”

“Does Ollie know about this?” There was a hint of desperation in Laurel’s voice, as if whether Oliver knew about this or not was her most pressing issue right now.

“Oliver knows everything. I wouldn’t be here offering you a choice if it were up to Oliver. Be smart Laurel. You’ve made a string of evil and irrational decisions. Be thankful I’m giving you the option of not dragging your father down with you. A Police Captain will not fare well in prison.”

“How do you know I won’t shoot you right here on the spot?” Laurel challenged, her eyes lighting up as she took a step toward Felicity whose face remained impassive while she stared directly into Laurel’s crazy eyes. “I did it with Rene. I’ll do it with you.”

“I would watch my body language if I were you Laurel. Keep acting like that and you will drop like a fly before me. I’d rather avoid that for all the drama it will bring. I’m a different person now remember. I’ve been your biggest advocate in all of this, crazy as it sounds.” Felicity took a step forward and smiled at Laurel. “I’m going to walk out of this store right now and hope for your sake that you make intelligent decisions tomorrow.” 

*** 

“Felicity, honey you need to wake up,” Oliver shook Felicity gently but with a sense of urgency. 

Felicity jolted up right away, her first thoughts on Jonas and whether anything had happened to him. It was customary on the weekend for Oliver and Jonas to be up first prepping a fancy weekend breakfast spread before attempting to wake her. Felicity had been up all night last night, running through different scenarios in her head, all of which involved Laurel Lance. She must have finally succumbed to exhaustion at some point.

“Jonas is fine,” Oliver assured her gently, knowing exactly what was going through her mind. “I called Thea to take him this morning. They’re having breakfast at the café down the road and then she’ll take him to the park.”

“Thank you,” Felicity smiled at him gently. “Thank you for knowing exactly what I need.”

“Actually you need to see this,” Oliver turned on the TV and sat down on the bed next to her, his hand reaching for hers, giving it a squeeze.

Felicity stared at the screen for several seconds before her brain could process what was happening. The words “Starling City Lawyer Laurel Lance, Police Captain’s daughter commits suicide” were emblazed across the scene as footage of medical personal entering Laurel’s apartment played in a loop. 

“Drug overdose,” Oliver informed her calmly. “No official confirmation but they reported that she took a cocktail of alcohol and drugs. That sounds about right for Laurel.” There was a hint of relief in his voice and suddenly they both knew what was being thought but remained unsaid.

“I…I didn’t want it to end this way…” Felicity said slowly, averting her eyes from the screen. Oliver immediately turned the television off. “I just wanted her to be punished for her crimes.”

“It’s better this way,” Oliver said firmly, with a hard resolute look on his face. “I can’t say I’m upset about the way things have turned out. I feel like I’m truly free now Felicity, knowing that the two people I love the most will be safe. No matter how many years she was going to be locked up for I was always going worry about you and Jonas. I would have learnt to deal with it but it’s a relief to not have that feeling at all.”

Felicity leaned into him and Oliver at once took her in his arms, gently kissing her head whilst stroking her back. “It’s really over,” she whispered into his chest. 

***

“Brilliant move on your part,” John commented to Lyla as they both watched the news footage from Starling City together. “I was wondering how you would handle it. I suspected you might opt for drug deal gone wrong; mugging gone wrong but this is masterful. Laurel was so messed up anyone close to her would think it was plausible she ended up taking her own life and anyone who didn’t know wouldn’t care.”

“Are you judging me?” Lyla raised an eyebrow at her husband. “We both knew it had to be done Johnny. I didn’t work so hard to save Felicity only to leave loose ends dangling around. Loose ends that could threaten her life again one day. Laurel had to be eliminated regardless of how Felicity feels.”

“Once the shock is over you do realize she’s going to know that it was you?” John remarked casually. “What are you going to say if she confronts you about it?”

“I would own up it proudly. I have faith that my friendship with Felicity can withstand my decision to disregard her wishes about Laurel. But no matter what happens I’d rather know that I saw things through right to the end. I helped you save a girl and I did everything in my power to ensure she would always remain safe. I have no regrets.” Lyla smiled at her husband before continuing, “I know you wanted to eliminate Laurel too Johnny but you’ve always had the tendency to give Felicity whatever she wanted. My soft spot for her doesn’t quite work like yours. If there is any fallout, it’s all on me.” 

“I think she’ll know you did it out of love,” John put his arm around Lyla and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

***

“Hey Felicity,” Ray poked his head into her office, giving her a big smile.

“Hi!” Felicity smiled back brightly, motioning for him to come in. After everything Oliver had told her about her Once Upon a Time best friend, Felicity held this fond feeling for Ray. She didn’t remember anything about him but it was obvious he was kindhearted and her past self had meant a great deal to him. Every so often she’d catch him looking at her wistfully, like he was yearning for his old friend.

“I haven’t seen season 9 yet if you want to chat about it,” Felicity informed him cheerfully. Ray liked to introduce her to different TV shows. Shows she had no memory of watching before. It was Oliver who had told her about how she and Ray used to binge on science fiction shows and then debate them with each other. Ray had seemed rather incredulous at first when she informed him she had never seen Stargate or Farscape before, however when he realized what a world she had yet to explore before her, he was delighted, inundating her with DVDs and recommendations. 

“No I actually came by to ask if you, all of you, wanted to come over this Saturday. Summer is here, we have the pool up and running and I think Jonas and the twins would enjoy playing with each other.” There was a great deal of excitement in Ray’s voice but also a hint of trepidation as he continued. “I’ve been meaning to ask you all over for a long time and there never seemed to be a good time until now.” Felicity could almost sense the hidden meaning in his words, that there was something else he wanted to say, questions he wanted to ask but didn’t.

“It is a good time now isn’t it?” Felicity smiled at him. “I’ll check with Oliver but I am almost certain we are free. Jonas will love it! A pool and little friends. I think that’s his idea of a perfect day.”

“Great,” Ray beamed at her. “Kathy and Christine are going to be so excited about a play date.”

“Are you using us to set up a play date only?” Felicity teased him good-naturedly. “I thought you liked all of us.” 

Ray chuckled at her comment looking completely unperturbed. “If you speak to any other parent I’m sure they’ll agree with me that anyone with kids only ever cares about scoring good play dates for their kids. If you happen to get along with the other kid’s parents, that’s a bonus. But on the whole I don’t think you’re too bad.” 

Felicity gave him a mock disgruntled sniff and returned to her work.

***

“Sooo how did it go?” Zari asked, looking up from her game console briefly to catch her husband’s expression.

“Great, it went great. They’re coming over on Saturday,” Ray answered not taking his eyes off the screen.

“And…...” Zari waited for a response but there was none as Ray continued devoting his attention to battling her onscreen.

“You’re really not going to talk about this?” she finally asked looking slightly surprised. “You talk about everything.”

Ray paused their game and looked at his wife. “I didn’t try to talk about the past with Felicity if that’s what you’re referring to. I know I’ve told you I want to. I really do. Every time I see her I wonder if she’s the best friend that I lost but then after a conversation with her it’s obvious that she doesn’t remember anything so I think there is no point really. She doesn’t even remember Oliver. If she could remember she would remember Oliver.” 

Zari reached out and placed a hand on her husband’s lap, patting him gently as Ray leaned his head on her shoulder. “It doesn’t matter if she was your old best friend Felicity or not. Hopefully you can renew your friendship again without her husband being a jealous jerk this time,” Zari declared with a hint of venom in her voice. She was very protective of Ray who was the kindest and most principled person she knew. It niggled at her that Oliver Queen had thought Ray was capable of trying to steal his wife. 

“I think Oliver’s been through more than his fair share of hardships in the past few years. I doubt he’s the same person he was back then.” Ray snuggled down and laid his head on her lap. There was a steadiness about her that he always found so reassuring. Zari was very…heroic for lack of a better word. His warrior princess in shining armour.

“Well he better be nice to you or he’ll know exactly what I think of him,” Zari threatened, as she kissed Ray’s forehead, smiling at his dopey content face.

***

**Two Years Later**

“She’s so tiny,” Felicity whispered as she held onto John and Lyla’s precious new bundle, wondering how on earth she was going to handle such a tiny little person when it was her turn. She was used to Jonas and his robust ways. Taking care of such a tiny little person seemed like such a daunting task. Luckily Oliver had been there, done that and accumulated an impressive number of books on baby, toddler and child rearing for Felicity to read. Felicity herself was also partial to reading different studies about different aspects of child rearing. There was a certain science to it that appealed to her. She watched the little bundle in her arms again in amazement and awe. Three more months and they were going to have a bundle of their own.

“Have you decided on a name yet?” Felicity asked as she handed the baby over to an eager Oliver who looked like he was going to burst out of his skin if he didn’t get to hold her soon. To say Oliver was clucky was an understatement. 

“Felicity Jane Diggle,” John announced with pride whilst Lyla who was looking extremely alert and sprightly for someone who had only given birth a day ago smiled at her husband in fond amusement. 

“Johnny was always secretly a bit bitter Felicity had to be Felicity Michaels instead of Felicity Diggle. We thought the name Felicity Diggle was too unique and would draw more attention,” Lyla explained to Oliver who had a quizzical look on his face.

“Well that worked out for the best. We have our own Felicity Diggle now,” John beamed at all of them, holding out his arms to ask for his daughter back. Oliver grudgingly obliged.

“She’s not a twin,” Jonas announced from his place next to Oliver looking a bit disappointed in the whole affair. “I was hoping Aunt Lyla would have twins. Especially identical ones. Although I would have settled for fraternal.” He paused for a second before bowing his head and casting his eyes down sadly, “Mommy isn’t haven’t twins either. We saw only one baby in the scans.” 

“Jonas is fascinated with the identical Palmer twins,” Oliver announced as if that would explain everything.

“I suppose twins are hard work,” Jonas continued trying to console himself in the fact that there was not going to be twin babies to observe in his future anytime soon. “Aunt Zari always says she and Uncle Ray didn’t sleep for three years.”

“It’s alright buddy, your little sister and baby Felicity are going to be pretty close in age. You can pretend they are twins. How’s that?” Oliver consoled his son cheerfully. 

“Fraternal twins!” Jonas declared excitedly, moving on quickly from his disappointment just seconds ago. He rubbed Felicity’s round belly and gave it a kiss before addressing her. “There’s always a chance the next babies will be twins right Mommy?”

Felicity glared as the entire room bar Jonas erupted in laughter. Even little Felicity Diggle who was fast sleep in her daddy’s arms seemed to have an amused look on her face.

***

“The chocolate soufflés are going to be done in fifteen minutes,” Oliver announced standing in their bedroom doorway as he watched Felicity take a selfie of herself and her bump, looking rather fetching in a yellow camisole night dress that was doing wonders showing off her enhanced pregnant “assets”. 

When they first found out they were expecting Felicity had asked questions about her pregnancy with Jonas and Oliver had told her as gently as possible how things had been and explained why there were not many pictures of her baby bump while she was pregnant with Jonas.

Felicity looked wistful but said nothing until a few days later when she started taking weekly pictures of her bump and whipped up an App to diarize her pregnancy with “Smoochums”. After finding out Jonas had been “Pookums” Felicity had insisted their second baby be nicknamed “Smoochums” much to Oliver’s amusement and slight horror. It was almost surreal to him how different things were this time round. Better. This was a taste of what life could have, would have been if they had met each other when they were both fully grown up. Still he understood that it was his four-year crucible of raising Jonas alone which led him to be the person he was today, the person who finally deserved Felicity. 

“Souffle!!!!!” Felicity squealed excitedly before pouting with her round eyes gazing at him hopefully, “Will there be whipped cream?” 

“There most definitely will be whipped cream and salted caramel sauce too if you want it,” Oliver answered taking great pleasure in how happy she was over such a simple thing as dessert. “I wanted to check whether you wanted to eat in here or in the dining room so I can set up.”

“Well if there is whipped cream I think we’d better eat in here don’t you think so Mr. Queen? Cuz you know…dessert,” Felicity quipped as she slinked up to him and waggled her eyebrows at him suggestively.

“I thought you were badly behaved before I knocked you up but now you’re just an absolute terror,” Oliver chuckled, pulling Felicity into him and giving her a light slap on the bum. “I don’t know if I can handle you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo.....did you like it? I wanted it to go full circle and I hope I achieved that. 
> 
> ***
> 
> Anyone work out who Ray's twins Kathy and Christine are named after?
> 
> I had two candidates for Ray's wife and in the end decided on Zari. My other candidate would have been cute too although there are some canon developments I am worried about so I think Zari is the more stable choice as Ray's LI.
> 
> Lol not that any of you care about poor old Ray but it warms the cockles of heart that he can be a good guy and have a nice life in a fic somewhere because I love him so!


End file.
